Chapter 49: "Brilliant Idea, Terrible Execution"

So there I was. Sitting in my ugly sandcastle house. Aizen chewing on a rock. The cactus from yesterday still standing like some smug green stick.

And then it hit me.

Why don't I make a second floor?

Yes. A big, epic second floor made of sand. What could go wrong?

I got up, gathered sand with my claws like an idiot raccoon, stacked it on top of the crooked, sagging walls, and after a while…

It looked like garbage.

Aizen tilted his head, one ear flopping down. Even he could tell it was dumb.

I stood back proudly.

And then it collapsed.

Right on top of me.

"GUOOOOHHH!!"

(Translation: Aizen you cursed mutt, help dig me out!!)

Aizen? He just wagged his tail and peed on the rubble.

EP Reward: 10,000

Reason: Tried to build a two-story sand house in a desert. Surprise, it didn't work.

After digging myself out, I got a new genius idea.

If the house can't go up… it can go down.

Yes. A basement.

So I started digging a big hole next to the ruins of my house. Dug for hours. No water, no treasure. Just more sand.

But then I forgot I'm huge and the hole wasn't big enough. So I got stuck.

Upside down.

"GUOHHH!?"

(Translation: Help, idiot dog! I'm stuck again!)

Aizen? He looked into the hole. Licked my foot. Walked away.

EP Reward: 12,000

Reason: Got stuck in own hole like a moron.

I eventually managed to wiggle out by blasting a small Cero beneath me. It launched me out like a cork from a bottle.

I landed face-first into the same cactus from yesterday.

Again.

EP Reward: 15,000

Reason: Hit the same cactus twice in 2 days.

I sat there, cactus needles stuck in my mask, Aizen lying on his back laughing (or whatever noise his stupid face makes when happy).

Current EP: 1,601,500 / 100,000,000

I sighed.

Life was good.

I was still dumb.

But now, with a basement.