Being a Celebrity Criminal Is Bullshit

I am Lucius Dehaviell. I am a Celebrity Criminal. How? Well, I'm an Arms Dealer. And because I'm the son of a famous Satanist Priest. Therefore I am apparently the Anti-Christ.

Enjoy my life story of how I hopefully take over my city. Or at least get these Satanists to leave me alone. I dunno, it feels like my life is doing that criminal thing where it's spiraling out of control.