The Rogue's Gospel — Lessons in the Art of Scoundrelry

As the two furious swordmaidens climbed into their carriage, still scolding "Third Young Master" Qin Ren all the way, they wrapped themselves tightly in wool blankets and cracked the reins. Their horses, now tethered to the rear, trotted along obediently behind.

Once the carriage disappeared down the winding road, a dusty figure suddenly sat up from the massive crater left behind by the Thunder God's Bomb the night before. After slapping the dirt off his body, he revealed a smug, self-satisfied face—it was none other than Qiao Wei.

"Tch! What do those two girls know about our young master's thoughts?" he scoffed aloud, grinning devilishly.

He hadn't fled at all. Instead, he'd hidden himself in the explosion crater, covering his body with loose soil like a sneaky badger. Every word from the women's earlier conversation had fallen into his eager ears.

"A true connoisseur of romance—no, a professional flower thief like our master—doesn't pursue women, he collects them!" Qiao Wei declared, hands gesturing wildly. "In and out of a thousand blossoms, not a single petal clings to him. That, my friend, is the peak of cultivation! Our young master never bothers with hearts—he only ever wants bodies. Of course he uses the most convenient methods! Heh heh…"

A ghostly voice whispered beside his ear, "Well, well. I didn't expect you to understand me so deeply."

Qiao Wei jolted as if electrocuted. He turned his head—and there he was, Qin Ren, standing beside him, smiling with inscrutable amusement.

"Master! Must you sneak up behind me like a vengeful spirit?" Qiao Wei wailed. "Didn't you already run away? Why are you back? Could it be… you couldn't bear to leave your humble servant behind? Young Master, your affection moves me to tears!"

Choking with emotion, Qiao Wei threw himself forward, arms flailing in an attempt to hug Qin Ren's leg.

"Back off!" Qin Ren jumped away with a grimace. "What the hell are you saying? What do you mean, 'couldn't bear to leave you'? Keep three steps away, minimum! You're covered in mud! Don't ruin my robe! And where was I supposed to go, anyway? The other side of the mountain's a dead end."

Indeed, Qin Ren had never truly left. His leap from the cliff had been an act—he had circled behind, lurking in the shadows, waiting for the women to depart before returning.

"Master," Qiao Wei said cautiously, "those two vixens are plotting something nasty. What's the plan?"

Having overheard every scheming word, Qiao Wei gave a delightfully exaggerated version of the women's devious plan. Qin Ren, who had been too far away to hear it himself, listened with a scowl growing on his face.

"'The green bamboo snake's fangs, the wasp's tail sting—neither is as poisonous as a woman's heart.' That's some damn truth right there," he growled. "They want to scheme against me? Hah! How many years of rice have they even eaten?"

After venting for a while, Qin Ren composed himself. "Ye Yingxue hates me enough to carve me up—but if she wanted me dead, she'd have done it already. Qin Nier's a violent little terror—I'd rather not provoke her. As for Lianzhou Luo'er… she's already tasted defeat. I don't fear her. Zhen Luo, though... that little beauty, I really can't read her. But surely she's not the type to be easily swayed. I mean, come on—look at me! I'm dashing, elegant, maybe a little shameless—but certainly not without charm!"

Qiao Wei asked hesitantly, "Master… of all the women you've played with… has any one of them actually loved you?"

Qin Ren pondered for a moment. "Maybe. My second woman, Liu Piaopiao, she really did love me. As for the rest? Who knows—and who cares? I never set out to be a romantic hero. What would I do with all that affection?"

"Well, that's kind of the problem," Qiao Wei replied. "Most of the women you've seduced seem to hate you. And they're not just any women—they're some of the rarest, most stunning beauties under heaven. If you piss them all off and they join forces against you… let's just say your flower-thief career might come to an early and bloody end."

Qin Ren frowned, then laughed. "You've clearly thought this through. Got any ideas?"

The two sat down on rocks beside a quiet stream, unbothered by the decomposing corpse of the fat monk lying nearby.

"Well, Master," said Qiao Wei with the exaggerated seriousness of a man explaining the secrets of the universe, "if you want to be a carefree rogue, you've gotta master the art of illusion. Women want to be coaxed. A real player makes them fall head over heels, and then—when it's time to leave—he walks away as the one who's heartbroken. He gains their sympathy, not their hatred."

"You mean I should pretend to be a romantic?" Qin Ren rubbed his chin.

"Exactly! You told me once—you're too proud to fake feelings. But Master, if you're not even willing to act, how will you keep those women from turning against you? Might as well pay for it and be done with it—at least with prostitutes, there's no need for drama."

Qin Ren chuckled. "Fair point. So you're saying all my past methods were wrong?"

"Not wrong," said Qiao Wei. "Just incomplete. Drugging them? Effective. But once the deed's done, you can't just walk away. You've gotta comfort them. Swear undying love. Cut your finger, cut your neck, cut your—uh—little brother if you must. Women are soft-hearted. Play the role well, and they'll melt."

Qin Ren shuddered. "That's… terrifying. You're more shameless than I am!"

Qiao Wei smirked. "So what? Being a little beast is better than being hunted like one. If you really don't want to fake it, then there's only one option left—try actually falling in love."

Qin Ren stared at the water for a long moment. "Not possible. I've only got one heart. I can't slice it into pieces."

"Then that settles it," Qiao Wei laughed. "No need to act holy when you're already playing dirty. A whore doesn't need a signboard."

Qin Ren suddenly burst into laughter. "Qiao Wei, your nonsense is surprisingly enlightening! Well said! If I'm to be a scoundrel, I might as well embrace it fully. I'll be the elegant rogue—fake love like a pro, let them believe I'm head over heels. After all, to play with women, one must first survive them!"

The two villains laughed heartily beneath the morning sky. In that moment, a new chapter began—the rise of a legendary rogue with the heart of a devil and the smile of a saint.