Chapter 66: Volume 2 – Chapter 15: Five Times, Twelve Times, and Fifty Times

Reiji was completely losing it.

He never imagined he'd end up falling into the hands of a repressed pervert like Tsuchigami, a guy who liked reading dirty books.

Fuming, Reiji grabbed Tsuchigami by the neck with a vicious glare.

If soft tactics don't work, then it's time to go hard!

"Listen here, you closet perv! If you don't join me, I'll move in right next door, change my last name to Tanaka, and call myself Old Reiji Tanaka!"

At that, Tsuchigami's face went dark beneath his mask.

"No way, you can't live next to me!"

"I'm moving in!" Reiji snapped, full of stubborn energy.

"If you dare live next to me, I'll tell Hiruzen-sama your secret about space ninjutsu!"

"Huh?!" Reiji screeched.

"If you rat me out, I'll tell everyone in the village you own a deluxe, illustrated, color edition of The Tale of Genji!"

Reiji grinned wickedly as he watched sweat drip down Tsuchigami's face.

"And your book's got yellow stains on it!"

"You looked too!" Tsuchigami trembled, still refusing to back down.

"I've got no shame! Say what you want!" Reiji said proudly.

"Damn it, Reiji! Are you trying to wipe out the Hatake Clan?!" Tsuchigami roared.

?

?

Hatake?

Hatake… fifty-fifty?

Reiji froze. A tragic name suddenly popped into his mind—Sakumo Hatake.

Wait... this guy's Sakumo?!

Holy crap, no wonder Go-Go always had a copy of Icha Icha Paradise in hand—it all started with you!

You sneaky bastard, hiding it so well!

Tsuchigami had shouted, but then froze too.

Crap. I slipped. My identity's blown. What now?!

His head slowly turned toward Reiji, hoping to catch even a hint of confusion on the guy's face.

But no luck.

Reiji was grinning from ear to ear, one brow raised smugly.

I'm finished! My life is over!

But all Reiji was thinking was: The Hatake Clan's loaded! Bring this guy in and bleed him dry—that's my start-up fund right there.

And maybe the only reason this guy dared to kill himself so casually is because his family's rich. He didn't need to worry about Kakashi's food or shelter, or even a marriage dowry. That's why he offed himself so easily.

So if I just strip him of his money, house, and everything else... aren't I actually saving his life?!

Damn, I'm a saint!

With that thought, Reiji cozied up to Sakumo Hatake, leaning in close with a big smile.

"Hatake Dog Bro, you—"

"My name's Sakumo," Sakumo cut in sullenly.

"Alright, Sakumo Dog Bro."

Sakumo let out another weary sigh. He just wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear.

"Sakumo Dog Bro, hear me out. We've known each other for ages. Ever since I got to the village, you've been on my tail."

On your tail? That's called surveillance, Sakumo thought bitterly.

You've got a mouth that never spits out anything but crap.

Clueless about what Sakumo was thinking, Reiji went on.

"I always knew you were tailing me, but I never said anything. I didn't want to hurt your confidence.

See? I'm such a gentle guy.

Later on, you didn't even bother hiding. You just followed right behind me. I pretended not to see you, acted like I was blind—just so you wouldn't have to do extra work.

Am I not a kind-hearted guy?

And when I went undercover in Kumogakure and found out you were the middleman, I got Uncle Hiruzen to assign you to a nice safe village like Yugakure instead of sending you off to risk your life in Kumogakure.

Now tell me—do I care about you or not?"

The first part sounded pretty convincing, but that last bit… something felt off.

Sakumo Hatake couldn't come up with a rebuttal, so he just nodded gloomily.

Seeing that, Reiji lit up inside.

Gotcha! House, car, cash—gimme all of it!

Pushing his luck, Reiji continued,

"You know what kind of guy I am, right, Dog Bro?

With everything we've been through, you think I'd screw you over? No chance, not in a million years!

So forget ANBU, just wait till I finish my... ahem, undercover mission. Once I'm back, we'll partner up and rake in two hundred million!"

Under the mask, Sakumo Hatake's face twisted with conflict.

That was the line Reiji had prepared ever since he discovered who this guy really was.

From the original story, it was clear—Sakumo Hatake gave up a mission to save his comrades. What did that say? It said he valued comrades more than the mission.

And missions are all about village interests.

Which means this guy places his bonds above the interests of the village!

That's the true essence of the Will of Fire.

The Will of Fire was never about the village guilt-tripping people—it's always been about bonds, about people.

So Reiji put all the negotiation skills from his past life dealing with clients to good use, and worked hard to win over Sakumo Hatake.

And judging by the results... not bad at all.

Maybe Tsuchigami really was the one who saw Reiji as a true comrade.

After all, it was like living side by side without ever meeting face-to-face.

Sakumo mulled it over for a long time before finally shaking his head.

"Being a ninja is my dream. I can't give it up. As for your Konoha..."

"Konoha Unlimited Liability Company," Reiji interjected.

"Right. That 'no liability' company—can it really offer that much freedom?"

At that, Reiji rolled his eyes and gave a half-hearted nod.

"Then I'll check with Hokage-sama and get back to you."

Reiji let out a long, helpless sigh and nodded weakly.

Getting him this far was already half the win. As for the other half... well, Reiji wasn't there yet.

Still, he shook off his disappointment quickly.

If one pitch doesn't work, try again! Any decent HR recruiter goes after a target more than once. Maybe he'll change his mind!

As he got ready to leave, Reiji pulled out a limited-edition, full-color series from behind his back—The Land of Hot Water's Finest Beauties—and set it on the table.

Sakumo's eyes immediately lit up. He pointed at the book, then at himself, voice trembling with excitement.

"This! This is for me?!"

Reiji gave a sly smile.

"Nope. This is for my dearest companion—Jiraiya! I'm counting on you~"

He deliberately emphasized the words dearest companion.

Then he raised an eyebrow, formed a one-handed seal, and added,

"But I've still got another set! A rare out-of-print edition!"

In the next instant, Reiji vanished.

Watching him disappear, Sakumo curled his lip and gave a snort.

"Let me check if that bastard stashed intel in here somewhere!"

What Reiji didn't know was that Sakumo ended up checking that book five times. Then Hiruzen Sarutobi went over it twelve more.

By the time it finally landed in Jiraiya's hands, the illustrations were already starting to fade.

Even so, Jiraiya was thrilled. He took it home and studied it thoroughly—fifty times—laying the solid foundation for what would eventually become Icha Icha Paradise.