Under the Trees

Aru's true and only friend was Manday. She was the connection to reality for her. She had stayed with Manday since the first day she came to the temple. And Manday was the only person who could see her as she was. The little girl came from that island village.

Every night after taking her bath, Manday brushed her jet-black hair and talked to her with a warm heart. Every night she told stories before she slept. Whenever she had a nightmare, she always went to Manday's bed. Manday hugged her, wiped her sweat, and calmed her down. Whenever someone broke her heart, Manday mended it for her. She explained how it could be hard for other girls too, how they actually envied her. She listened her fears, her dreams, and her nightmares day by day as she grew, like a mother she left behind.

Aru couldn't remember her family anymore. Their faces were long gone, their voices and memories lost. She could only remember their names. And she was so afraid that, it would also abandon her one day. So, she repeated their names every night like a mantra, to keep them in mind, at least to have this piece of family. "My mom Ayana, my dad Beyray, my sisters Aksanaa and Akkoo. My mom Ayana, my dad..." Until she fell asleep, she repeated it over and over, murmuring in her bed. Manday got used to it, and she never questioned Aru for doing this.

After five years of training, when they reached fourteen, puberty started to kick in. Every girl, including Ulghan's virgins, began to be interested in boys, and the true purpose of the paintings became clearer. Just as Temene had said on their first day, they were allowed to roam freely around the estate, wherever they wished to go. Although blending in with other children was challenging, it was not impossible. They could go to the common areas that other children used. When they visited these areas, they attracted a lot of attention and were thrilled by it.Especially from the boys. Although common children were taught well not to get too close to the virgins or touch them, their curiosity always led them to interact with the virgins. Their intriguing dresses and paintings were all mysteries to them, and the virgins savored every bit of that attention. However, Aru was an exception.

Aru wasn't interested in common boys. It was laughable to her to receive presents from them, not that she accepted any, but they somehow managed to leave them on her bed. As the years passed, she grew taller and thinner. Her long, slender legs shone like olive pillars beneath her white skirt. Her flowing black hair cascaded gracefully from her shoulders to her slender waist. The childish features of her face sharpened and slimmed. Her fierce, deep black eyes were defined by thick black eyelashes. Her black-painted plump lips and the black circling patterns on her face rose up to her small, upturned nose, giving her an intimidating look. Yet, it was undeniably attractive to most boys. Love letters, flowers, and songs sung beneath her window became routine parts of her life.

Her mesmerizing air, her cool way of walking through the corridors of the temple, flipping her black hair like velvet curtains, her nearly palpable pride radiating from her as daggers for hearts, were also effective, but she wasn't aware of that. Unfortunately for the boys, she was not interested in any of them. She was interested in only one man whom she knew she could never have, but it made her life easier. Instead of secretly loving a goofy boy from the commons and living in dread of the nuns finding out, she chose an easier path for her growing body and hormones, she started loving a dream.

She was lying on one of the flower beds behind the academy. The sun was in the middle of the sky, and she was basking in its warmth. Then a shadow fell onto her. She slowly opened her eyes and saw a man towering over her. He was tall and muscular, his wide shoulders like boulders, his legs like pillars, and his torso appearing carved from marble. He looked at her with sky blue eyes. His golden hair curled around his handsome face, framing it like a golden halo. He gave her a genuine smile, revealing perfect white teeth and dimples that formed the most perfect pits she had ever seen. He said to her, "Here you are! I was searching for you," and began to lean towards her. The gap between them closed, bit by bit, until she presumed it would lead to a kiss. Her heart started pounding crazily. She was eager for this kiss, ready for it. She extended her lips towards the man. And then... she woke up. She found herself on the flower bed, with the afternoon sun lazily shining through the thick leaves above her. Instantly, she knew who she had seen.

The next day, after the morning's meditation, they proceeded to their daily prayers for Ulghan's blessings before breakfast. As they all took their seats and looked up at the large figurative portrait hanging behind the nun leading the day's prayer, Aru murmured to herself as smiling, 'There you are, handsome...' She could swear that Ulghan's portrait was smiling back at her.

Even though Aru looked cool and collected, she was also an adolescent needing to feel these kinds of excitements and her growing body was making her to require some feelings day by day. But after that day, whenever she needed somebody to love or adore, she chose the one who could never be reached: Ulghan, the mighty god of heavens and sun. He was the very god all of the nuns loved and adored, so she could gaze at his portraits, mosaics, and statues as much as she liked—they were placed everywhere in the temple. She would fall into daydreams about Ulghan's handsome face, imagining his plump lips on hers. It made her life easier as she grew up in the temple.

When it came to other virgins, there were some violations during these formative years. Some virgins were caught with smeared paint, making for unpleasant days for them. If the paint smears were minor, they were punished by being locked in their rooms with no meals for a day. If the smears were severe, they were left outside for three days and three nights, with no food—only water—in front of the commons, to remind them they were not in control of their bodies; they were tools, and they had to live accordingly. Aru felt sorry for those girls but never understood them. Why were these girls risking it for a thin-legged boy? What were they really feeling? She never understood.

She was fixated on one man, mighty, handsome, and fair—excellent in every possible way. Some days, she lost her appetite from desiring him and dreaming about him too much. Some nights, she fought to fall asleep despite the coiling urge in her lower abdomen just for him. She memorized every golden curl, each and every eyelash. She drew and drew him during art classes: watercolor, charcoal, oil painted; whether sitting, standing, fighting, or just watching Aru, out of the canvas while she painted her. Nuns interpreted this as a heartfelt commitment to the temple and God Ulghan. A heartfelt commitment indeed...

***

In the blink of an eye, hours turned into days, and days turned into years. The virgins reached seventeen years old. They didn't celebrate their individual birthdays, but every year on the same day they arrived at the temple, they were treated to a feast, just like on the very first day. Aru counted these feasts to track her age. It was called the Abundance Feast. For the past eight years, instead of the gathered virgins, the children who had arrived at the temple participated in these feasts. It was like a welcome party for the newly gathered children. But not for the virgins. They were only collected once every seventeen years, and in that year, no other children were accepted into the temple.

Aru woke up early that day, or rather was awakened by Manday. Manday and Jeti painted her, Manday brushed her hair, braided some strands with red beads, to Aru's surprise, hung red beaded earrings on her ears, and gave her a red beaded woven necklace. They had never been allowed to wear jewelry before. Manday also dressed her in a caftan for the first time. Normally, their general uniform consisted of a two-piece white dress for summers and a woolen white cardigan on it for winters, except during sparring lessons. But now, she had a caftan. It was a plain, black silk caftan, but Aru loved the feel of the silk against her skin. She looked at Manday with questioning eyes, and Manday smiled at her.

"It's your big day," she said.

"What big day?" Aru asked.

"Today you will find your soul guide."

Aru's mouth fell open, and Manday smiled even wider.

"Today? We will find out today?"

"Yes, dear. After the feast, you will be sent to the woods to meditate. You will call your soul guide as we taught you, and you will all receive a response tonight. This is a holy night. All of our nuns have met their soul guides on this very night of the year. The longest day; solstice."

Aru jumped to her feet and hugged Manday.

"I can't wait to meet my guide!" she cried with joy.

"Then don't be late and join the others. Today's prayers will take longer," Manday said.

Aru hugged her once more, kissed each of her cheeks, then hugged Jeti and kissed her too. Jeti chuckled, and protested playfully

“Stop it! You'll ruin your paint and I'll have to do it all over again.”

Aru let them go and with a wide smile, ran out from her room instantly. Manday watched the open door after her for a while longer. Jeti placed one hand on Manday's forearm.

"Don't worry. She will be alright. You raised her well," she said.

Manday turned and looked at Jeti with teary eyes. She swallowed a lump moving up and down her throat, and said, "Let's hope that's true..."