Behind the Walls

Aru paused and looked at her fingers when they dug in a hole. There was a big crack in the wall. Which was impossible. She was walking by the walls everyday, and never saw a gap, big enough to let sun beams to leak in. But there it was, in front of her, the crack looking at her. It was the wall behind the settlement area of nuns. Maybe children dig into this crack, she thought. It was big enough to let you see the other side of the wall as looking through it. She put her eye on the crack and peeked through. There were more trees behind the wall as all she could see. But she felt triumphant as if she had magic that she could see through walls. Especially this wall, a solid evidence of power and strict rules of nuns.

But, it didn't stay there. She visited this place over and over until one day she witnessed a thing she could never think of. One day, when she was willing to pay her usual visit to the crack on the wall, she saw a hustle in front of the crack. She stayed behind a tree and watched the common boys, actually removing a big stone from the wall, and sneaking out to the other side of it. She was bewildered when she thought she could also pass the wall and see the outer world. But not that day. She forced herself to leave that day to return the next day. When no one is trying their shot on the wall.

The next day, she went to the crack, peeped the area to make sure no one was around and dug her fingers as she saw the other boys did. She yanked the stone towards her to pull it open. It obeyed her, more easily than it would. Apparently, the boys had done this so often that they had smoothed the surface around the stone, making it come out more easily. And in a blink, she was carrying the big white stone in her arms like a chubby baby. The stone was so heavy and her arms so weak, they started protesting instantly and she dropped the stone near to the wall. It was the easy part. The hard part, as she saw boys doing, was placing the stone back in its place after her. But she had a plan ready and she was carrying a rope with her. The boys were leaning back inside from the hole and were carrying back the stone to its place and blocking the gap as the wall had never been touched in the first place. But she knew she was not that strong. So, she tied the rope around the stone and climbed the hole while holding the free end of the rope. Once she made it through the wall, she held the rope tightly with her two hands and pulled it with all of her might to place the stone to its hole again. Luckily the plan worked. Slowly but successfully the stone climbed the wall and placed itself in the opening that it left earlier. She untied the rope and pulled it back as coiling it to a small bundle and hid it behind a close tree.

She was free. For the first time in her life in the temple, she was free. She looked around her and saw nothing but a lot of more trees. But it was okay. She would find a way. She would explore, like she did for the estate. A new adventure. And that was the first time she went to the woods...

After that day, she went out at every chance she had between lessons and prayers. Even though she tried to avoid meeting the other boys leaving the temple. She couldn't manage to keep herself away for long. One day, when she didn't see anyone around for 15 minutes she thought no one was coming and climbed out. Then she recognized the boys were already on the other side, sitting under a close tree and making themselves slingshots. Three boys were peeling branches with small knives when they recognized her. Aru hesitated to turn back or continue. The boys’ eyes are narrowed as if waiting for Aru's next step. Aru thought running away could be more dangerous than facing them. Because they could think, she was going to tell on. So she went closer.

"What are you doing here?" A sandy haired boy around twelve or thirteen, asked angrily.

" What about you?" Aru asked back. They were younger than him, but definitely builded boys. They must have been in training for the soldier squad. They just stared at Aru with the eyes of an enemy.

" Look, I am not looking for trouble." Aru said. "I will pretend I never saw you, and you do the same. I won't bother you."

"You better! We know you, witch!" Of course they knew her. The witch, as Tolo says. And it meant they would tell on, if Aru stepped out the line. She was okay with that.

"You have yourself a deal," she said. And to avoid them, she went in the opposite direction. That was the first time she met the boys. Then for many times they saw each other again. But never acted like they recognized each other. There were more boys sometimes. The ages of them were varying. She saw five to seven boys at a time. But everyone, knowing the deal, said nothing to her after that day. Neither did she. She wasn't expecting it anyway. She was “the witch”. Smaller boys were afraid of her as they believed she was a real witch as Tolo claimed. And the boys close to her age were starting to fall in love with her as a dangerous prize. And both groups of boys were watching her warily, either out of admiration or fright. Aru was okay with that as long as they didn't prevent her going out.

One day, one of the boys dared to get closer to Aru. She just climbed out the hole. And was pulling the rock back as she always does. A small boyish voice came behind her.

"Can I help?"

Aru looked back on her shoulder and saw a boy, blonde and freckled but builded as all other boys who get training for the soldier squad. This was the same boy who was silently watching her for weeks. Out of admiration, which was worse. Aru shook her head.

"No."

"But that stone is heavy, and you are struggling every time."

"Also, I managed to do it every time."

"But..."

"Fuck off!" Aru hissed. She knew it sounded bad to say it to someone just trying to help, but she knew better that this help attempt was not sourced from kindness, but to start an acquaintanceship with her to make a better move on her. She was not interested at all.

Boy's face went sour. Aru didn't care as he turned back and joined his friends. She heard the mocking of other boys, they were teasing him to try his chance. When she turned, she saw a hostile expression on his face. Which was not good. She avoided them as she always does and went in the opposite direction as usual.

Attempts didn't stop after that day. Not just from the blonde boy whose name was Kumus, tried again and again, and became more bitter at every attempt. But his friends also tried their shots. Tried to "help" Aru. When Aru climbed a tree, suddenly a boy was coming and offering her his hand as a step. Which Aru didn't take. Or, while trying to carve her own slingshot from a branch, a boy was offering her his own. She hissed, and spat and swore every time a boy tried to get near her. She really preferred the younger boys' hatred and fright rather than this annoying interest of elders.

One day, she was laying under a lemon tree out of the walls. The afternoon sun was warm and refreshening in an early spring day. Aru was watching a raven perched on a branch. His jet black feathers were shining under the afternoon sun as black diamonds. His beady eyes were fixed on Aru, as if it was also examining back. Aru slightly smiled at this thought. She knew the ravens were pretty rare around this area. And she was shocked when she saw a raven first, weeks ago, but apparently these mysterious woods were doing the honors of hosting every kind of interesting being, including Aru and this raven. When Aru's smile was still hanging on her mouth, a sleek and boyish sound made her break her eye contact with the raven. She knew the owner of the voice now without looking. After Kumus's many attempts of talking, she learned to change her direction whenever heard this voice getting closer. But today, she wasn’t that lucky.

"Are you smiling because you are thinking of me?"

"Yeah, I was wondering how many times do you need to hear "fuck off" before you understand what it means?"

"Come now, don't be so dramatic, Aru. You are not the center of the universe, you know?"

"Yet you are still revolving around me." Aru said with a bored voice. Raven cawed.

"What can I do for you to make you happy?"

"Just get out of my face, you're blocking my sun."

Kumus's slightly purple face with rage became more vivid when the raven in the tree cawed again, as if laughing from the place it's perched as, it was nearly a human laugh. Aru smiled again, looking at the raven. At least this little fellow had a sense of humor. Kumus turned his back and left without saying any other word. This kept him away a couple days. But unfortunately it wasn't his last time he pushed his luck, and Aru had to deal with him again and again, but all disturbance had eased when she met Kaspak and she had a different purpose of leaving the walls. Even Kumus' presence was not a big deal for her anymore.