5. Stuck in my Head

RYLIE

It was sometime past midnight. I knew because I'd leaned over to check the clock on my nightstand a few minutes ago. I should have been asleep. But for whatever reason, sleep eluded me... No, that wasn't true. I did know the reason. I just hated to admit. I hated to admit that one kiss was keeping up this late.

But it hadn't just been any kiss. It had been one kiss from Blake, my aggravating next door neighbour and it just happened to be one of the best kisses of my life.

Even now, several hours after he'd angrily claimed my lips to prove a point, my body still quivered just thinking about it and my lips were somehow still warm to the touch. It would've been one thing if it were my first kiss — well, if it'd been, I'd have killed him— but it wasn't. I had a boyfriend for crying out loud and before Asher, I'd kissed two other guys: one as a dare, the other as a joke.

The point was that Blake's kiss shouldn't have been a big deal. I should've been furious about it and thinking about all the ways to get back at him for touching me with lips that had literally just been on another girl's but instead, I was left with a flurry of emotions that I couldn't even begin to decipher. I found myself also understanding why he had the girls at school in a chokehold.

And to make everything so much worse, I wanted it to happen. I'd never been more disgusted in myself but I knew that if he made one of those jokes about hooking up with me the next time I saw him, there was a seventy-five percent chance I said yes.

God, I was screwed.

I rolled over in bed and shut my eyes tight, hoping I'd soon get drowsy and fall asleep without knowing but the minute I shut my eyes, I started to replay the kiss again in my head. I saw everything again down to the last second.

Fucking hell.

Frustrated and too wound up to sleep, I kicked the covers off, pulled on a jacket and padded down to the kitchen to grab a late night snack. I grabbed the plate of cookies my mom had made to celebrate Myles' win (yeah, our team ended up winning after Blake came back; go figure), warmed up some milk and took it back to my room along with a bag of chips.

I sat down at my reading table and turned on my laptop. As it booted, I caught sight of a small disposable camera and remembered that I'd set up a camera to capture Blake and Talia going into the janitor's closet. It was a part of my plan and I intended to show it to the coach so he'd know what Blake had been doing and have a reason to kick him off the team. In the wake of everything that had happened, I'd completely forgotten about it.

I sent the file to my laptop and watched as Blake and I made their way into the janitor's closet. There was no sound but it was pretty clear what they were there for. I could still use the footage but

Then, I skipped past the time when they'd been locked in and started at the part where I came to get them out. I opened the door, Blake burst out, tackled me to the floor but was quick enough to flip us so I fell on him instead of the other way around.

Watching the footage now, I couldn't help but notice how hard the fall had been and he'd taken most of the impact. If he hadn't reacted as quick as he did, I'd probably have broken a rib... Actually, seeing the way he'd played, I'd have definitely broken a rib.

What am I even thinking? He's still a jerk who kissed me against my will.

I shook my head and continued to watch the video.

I got off of Blake, we started to argue and then the kiss happened...

It was quick, only lasted five to seven seconds but that didn't make it any less... hot. He'd been angry and it showed. It showed in how tightly he gripped my waist, how roughly he caressed my cheek, how hard he'd kissed me in those short moments... But it was so hot.

I found myself replaying the moment, my temperature climbing with each passing second.

Before I could rewatch it a fourth time and simultaneously combust, I paused the video and pushed down the top of my laptop.

With shaky hands, I brought the glass of milk up to my lips and downed the rest of it. My phone buzzed as I placed it down and I picked it up to see notifications flooding in from TikTok.

Yes! A distraction! I thought, tapping a notification like it was a drink of water I'd found in a desert.

Soon enough, I was able to bury the kiss in the far recesses of my mind, focusing all my attention on the videos appearing on my feed. I got back in bed and with the milk in my system and phone in hand, it wasn't long before I grew drowsy and I soon drifted off.

* * *

Thankfully the football game and by extension, the kiss had happened on a Friday which meant that I didn't have to see Blake until Monday. I did end up spending most of the weekend locked in my rule just to avoid seeing him entirely but I didn't mind.

Not having to see him gave me the chance to figure out my feelings about the kiss which were that I still hated Blake and the kiss meant nothing in the grand scheme of things. It'd only affected me so much because I hadn't been involved with another guy since Asher and admittedly, Blake wasn't a bad kisser. But the kiss changed nothing.

By the time Monday rolled around, I'd completely put the kiss out of my mind. I'd also deleted the video my camera had captured. I'd decided that rather than participating in immature pranks, the best way to deal with Blake was to just ignore him. And even though he'd started it, I would end it by not giving his coach the video. There was also the fact that the video lost its power when Blake appeared and helped the school win but that was beside the point. The point was that I was no longer going to stoop to Blake's level.

And as for the kiss, with the video gone, only Blake, Talia and I knew it'd happened. I didn't see Talia telling anyone about it. She'd seemed pretty upset that he'd kissed me, if her expression after he'd left was anything to go off. As for Blake, there was a chance he brought it up to taunt me and if he did, I'd just threaten to send the video to his coach. He'd still be in a lot of trouble if the coach saw it so I expected that to scare him into silence.

Having covered all the bases, I expected to have a drama free Monday. That plan however jumped out the window when I walked into school and was immediately the focus of everyone's attention. And as I headed towards my locker, I noticed that every girl I passed kept giving me dirty looks. I wasn't easily intimidated but it was hard not to be in that kind of situation.

I was very grateful to see a familiar face when I ran into Olivia just as she was leaving her locker.

"Olivia! Thank God!" I sighed, hurrying to her side. "Do you know what's going on?"

To my surprise though, Olivia shrugged me off and looked at me with a look that was a mix of disappointment and hurt.

"I expected better from you, Rylie."

"Huh? Expected better? What are you talking about?"

"I'm your best friend. You could've at least told me."

"Told you what? Olivia, please I'm so confused right now."

Instead of answering, she simply sighed and walked away without a backward glance.

My head was spinning as I stared at her retreating form, wondering what exactly I'd done that could've warranted this kind of reaction from Olivia.

I started to run after her when someone suddenly grabbed my arm and began to pull me in the opposite direction.

"Wait, what the–" I started to pull away when I looked up and saw who it was that had grabbed my arm.

It was Blake with a particularly nasty look on his face. On another day, I'd have pulled away asked him and asked him what the fuck was wrong with him but I had a feeling that whatever was going on had everything to do with him and whatever it was, it wasn't going to be good.