Chapter 4: Bureaucracy, Bribes, and Chicken Feed
Morning once again blessed the Eternal Radiance Divine Sect with birdsong, spiritual mist, and the distant sound of Hu Daniu attempting to punch a tree.
"Tree cultivation must be a thing!" he yelled, cradling his bruised fist.
"No," Ziyan deadpanned, "but brain damage might help your next breakthrough."
Meanwhile, Li Qingyu sat on a cracked stool, gazing at the system panel like a starving man watching food through a glass window.
> [Mission: Register the Eternal Radiance Divine Sect as an Official Sect in Capital City.]
[Reward: 100 Spirit Coins, 1 Basic Construction Token, 2 Fame Points]
[Time Limit: 30 Days]
[Progress: 0%]
"System," he muttered, "do you realize how far the Capital is? We barely have a pig cart."
[Ding! No travel support available. Good luck.]
Li Qingyu sighed and stood. "Alright disciples! Pack your bags! We march for glory!"
Hu Daniu blinked. "To war?"
"No, worse," Li Qingyu said solemnly. "To the Capital's Sect Registration Bureau."
Even Su Jian winced. "Oof. Bureaucracy."
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Day 1 of the Journey
The Eternal Radiance Divine Sect had no carriage, no spirit beast, and no proper supplies.
So naturally, they tied a laundry basket to a goat and called it transportation.
"Onward, Brother Hoofenstein!" Li Qingyu shouted.
The goat ignored him and continued eating a rock.
The disciples walked beside it, looking like either poor cultivators or a circus act.
They passed travelers, merchants, and one suspicious old man selling "genuine dragon teeth" (which turned out to be pig bones painted gold).
By noon, they reached a fork in the road with a sign:
> Left: Capital City – 5 days, safe, scenic route.
Right: Capital City – 2 days, but possibly haunted, bandit-infested shortcut.
Li Qingyu stared at the right path.
Hu Daniu gulped. "Master… do we value life?"
"No," said Li Qingyu, already marching down the haunted shortcut. "We value deadlines."
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Nightfall: Bandit Forest
The shortcut earned its name quickly.
A fog rolled in. Strange howling echoed. Trees bent at unnatural angles.
Then came the voice.
"Your money or your lives!"
A group of ten masked men stepped from the shadows, weapons drawn.
Li Qingyu stepped forward calmly. "We're poor."
Ziyan unsheathed her sword. "Very poor."
Su Jian adjusted his glasses. "Our current assets include: one goat, two potatoes, and a scroll titled How to Beg for Sect Funding Politely."
The bandits paused.
"…What kind of sect are you?"
Li Qingyu spread his arms. "We are the Eternal Radiance Divine Sect! Our buildings are held together by hope, and our strongest disciple once lost a battle to a chicken!"
Hu Daniu raised his hand. "That was one time! And it was a very aggressive chicken!"
The bandits looked at one another.
Then the leader stepped forward, sword raised—only to suddenly stop as a snap echoed behind him.
Su Jian's box popped open, releasing a puff of blue smoke and a confused robotic chicken.
"Self-defense prototype #3," Su Jian explained. "May or may not explode."
The chicken stared at the bandits.
Then screamed like a banshee and charged.
The forest lit up.
Bandits screamed. One of them tried to climb a tree and got stuck upside down.
Fifteen minutes later…
Li Qingyu stood triumphantly over a pile of defeated, groaning bandits.
"See?" he declared, posing on a rock. "This is why you don't rob sect masters with backup chickens."
Hu Daniu was wrapping a guy in vines, Ziyan was stacking swords like firewood, and Su Jian was disassembling his chicken bot to check why it started singing halfway through battle.
Li Qingyu clapped his hands. "Alright, loot time!"
They took five spirit stones, a bag of peanuts, and clean clothes from the least-stinky bandits.
Li Qingyu slipped into a nice brown robe and grinned. "Finally! I no longer look like a wandering vegetable vendor!"
Su Jian added, "We also found this badge. Says he was a 'Junior Vice Assistant Bandit Treasurer.' Impressive."
Day 3: Capital City – Outer Gate
Li Qingyu, now covered in mud and honor, limped toward the towering walls of Capital City.
The gate guard eyed them suspiciously.
"Purpose of visit?"
Li Qingyu straightened his back and held up a scroll with pride.
"We are here to register our sect, good sir!"
The guard blinked. "Do you have proper documents?"
"...Documents?"
A long pause.
Li Qingyu tried to smile. "Does a goat count?"
"Next."
"Wait wait wait! We have a talking chicken!—okay, no, maybe not helpful."
Eventually, after thirty minutes of begging, twenty bribes (consisting mostly of dried tofu), and one humiliating round of "cultivator charades," they were let through.
----
Capital City Sect Registration Bureau
The building was massive. Towering. Regal.
Inside the grand hall of the Sect Registration Bureau, Li Qingyu stepped forward proudly.
"I would like to register our sect."
The receptionist looked up. "Name?"
"Eternal Radiance Divine Sect."
"Fame level?"
"Negative-ish."
"Building assets?"
"Goat, slightly traumatized."
"Registration fee is 3 Spirit Stones."
Li Qingyu choked. "Three?!"
"You want to be official or not?"
He turned to the group.
Daniu pulled out his pockets—lint and sadness.
Ziyan shook her head.
Su Jian slowly handed over three of the spirit stones they liberated from the bandits.
Li Qingyu sniffled as he passed them to the clerk. "Goodbye, precious loot…"
The clerk stamped the form.
> [Ding! Mission Updated: Sect Registration Complete.] [Reward: 100 Spirit Coins, 1 Basic Construction Token, 2 Fame Points]
Li Qingyu blinked as a small sack appeared in his hand—real spirit coins. Real progress.
He looked at his disciples.
"Boys and girls… we're officially broke again. But now, we're poor with legitimacy."
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Author Note – Power Stone Edition (Updated)
Our sect is now official! All it cost was:
Three spirit stones
Four torn robes
One bandit's self-esteem
And Su Jian's dignity (again)
Support the rise of the world's least qualified sect by giving us a Power Stone!
1 vote = 1 clean robe for our MC (maybe).
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