I Woke Up Lubed and Existential”

Chapter 12

MORNING: 27 DAYS IN… AND WET

Riven blinked awake.

Then blinked again. And again.

Because she was soaked.

Not in sweat. Not in spilled peach tea. In something… slick. Sweet. Sinful.

She sat up slowly. Touched her thigh.

"...Why the fuck am I glistening?"

She brought her fingers to her nose. Sniffed. Paused. Then dropped her head into her pillow and screamed.

"OH MY GOD I'M A DAMNED OMEGA DONUT GLAZED IN PEACHES—"

She flipped onto her back, despair oozing from her pores along with the sticky-sweet scent of honey peaches and cassis. The sheets clung to her, shimmering like she had been dipped in edible body oil and rolled down an orchard.

"I FORGOT ABOUT THIS. I WROTE ABOUT THIS. I DREW THIS."

She sat up dramatically, arms thrown wide.

"I AM A SELF-LUBRICATING, FERMENTED FRUIT BUN WITH ASS FOR DAYS."

She pulled off the sheets. Stared at her glistening thighs. At the literal drop of liquid sliding down the inside of one leg.

"How do you forget you're a biological lube dispenser?! Oh right, BECAUSE YOU WERE BORN A WOMAN AND NOW YOU'RE A PEACHY FOUNTAIN OF HEATLESS DESPAIR."

MORNING JOURNAL ENTRY (written in fury):

Day 27. Woke up as a lubed snack. Forgot omegas do this even outside heat. I hate it here. Do not lick self. Will not self-validate with self-arousal. Maybe later. Science needs more data. I need therapy. And soap.

THERAPY: UNINTENTIONAL BREAKING OF A PROFESSIONAL MAN

Dr. Halien was already nervous. Last session ended with a philosophical crisis and possibly a kink awakening.

This session began with Riven plopping dramatically into the couch, dripping sarcasm and unintentional innuendo.

"Doc. I'm wet."

choke

"I mean I woke up soaked. In scent-based lubricant. Peaches. Dripping. Like someone poured a sundae on my thighs and whispered, 'You're the dessert now.'"

Halien blinked rapidly. His pen trembled in his hand.

"Do you know what it's like to wake up slippery and alone, doc? To smell like climax and regret? To be haunted by your own arousal?!"

"Riven... do you feel violated by your body?"

"I feel defeated by my body. It's like my glands said, 'You will never be normal again,' and then hit the lube button like it was a damn vending machine."

She leaned in.

"If someone touches me wrong in public, I'll literally squeak."

"...Are you afraid of intimacy?"

"No, I'm afraid of humidity. There's a difference."

Halien stared. Soul crumbling. Sexual identity unraveling.

"I'll... I'll need a moment."

"Take two. I'm gonna go ruin caffeine."

NEW CAFE: 'OMEGA HAVEN' AND SEXUAL TENSION FOUNTAIN

Riven, wearing an oversized hoodie (again) and fully glistening under it (again), tried to blend in.

Failed.

Again.

"Why are all the chairs in here leather? They squeak when I sit! It sounds like a lube scene starter."

squeeeeak

Beta couple across the room stared. One fanned themselves.

Riven muttered under her breath.

"I am once again leaking mood-setting pheromones in public. I need to invent scent-blocker shorts. Or wear three layers. Or stop existing."

sniffs air

"Damn. It does smell good though."

ACCIDENTAL SMUT SCENE AT TABLE 7

She took out her tablet. Started drawing.

The muse hit hard. She began sketching a shower scene between two betas—steamy glass, soap running down spines, slippery dominance play, and emotional repression masked as casual hair washing.

The omega waitress delivering her order dropped the tray.

"I—uh—your tea—"

"Oh, sorry! Did I... forget pants again?"

"No! No, you're wearing pants, but the... the iPad screen..."

"Oh. Shower scene. For a story. Totally vanilla."

"Is that... a third leg between his thighs—"

"He's flexible."

"That's not how soap works—"

"Artistic license."

The waitress left, nosebleed imminent.

NIGHT JOURNAL ENTRY:

Day 27: I am a walking pheromone ad. Therapist broken. Cafe changed. Still dripping. Drew a smut scene in public—probably corrupted two omegas and a grandma. Released first manga online under codename "SinBun69." My legacy begins. I will die unknown, but my art will ruin lives beautifully.