My New Home

Mumsi danced the day dad came home with her.

She moved her waist to an Igbo song she sang for praise and dad smiled at her in admiration. It felt like he got well for her, not because he wanted to.

His leg was getting better, and his voice was louder; firmer. He sounded strong again, like the head of the home. Mumsi voice had toughened up, she'd become the head of the home, inevitably.

 My siblings were happy and everyone was smiling, only I wasn't smiling. Maybe it began to occur to me that I didn't belong there. Maybe I felt guilty, guilty of doing the right thing. 

But was it the right thing? If I thought about it well, if I held my breath and faked a smile, it was almost the right thing to do. So I faked a smile and escaped to the kitchen to cook rice and stew. Mumsi bought some chicken for all of us to eat.

She said it was going to be a feast, we were going to be feasting on my guilt. I moved around the kitchen like a zombie and rejected help from Mumsi and Oluchi.

 As a child, I felt odd at first. I thought that if my mum would ever come back, she would have a reason for leaving me, and her reason would be good enough. I wondered if she'd ever accept me, if she'd ever love me. I wondered if I was a stubborn child, if I offended her and she left me and ran away. I kept wondering, but all those thoughts stopped when I turned 13. They started to disapper altogether, because mumsi loved me and was proud of me. Mumsi bragged about my good grades and never for once made me feel out of place. That was enough for me, I could live with the thought that I received generous motherly love. I didn't care for my estranged mother.

 A touch on my shoulder startled me.

"Where is your mind?" Mumsi asked and I gave her a crooked smile. 

Mumsi sighed and tied her wrapped tightly.

"Ireti cleared your father's hospital bills." Mumsi said.

"Thank God," I muttered dryly as I cut more vegetables.

"Why did you call her?" Mumsi asked in Igbo.

I stopped and stared at her.

"I couldn't let daddy suffer because of my pride."

I told her quietly.

"Pride?"

My eyes fluttered lowly. "Yes ma,"

"Pride or comfort?" Mumsi asked.

Her tone sounded displeased. This confused me, because Mumsi told me to go and visit her.

"I did not want you to go to Ireti on basis of obligation. I wanted you to go on your own terms, and these are not your terms Chidalu."

Mumsi said to me.

"I just wanted to help." I muttered.

"God would have provided. He always does." 

Mumsi said. 

 We started to cook in silence and there was a weight in my chest. At least Daddy was fine, the weight in my chest would have been heavier if I did not do anything. It was a Wednesday, and I was to go to her house on Saturday.

I counted down with dread and the days somewhat flew. My siblings had come to terms with my decision and I told them I would be back soon.

"After all, it is only two terms, before SS3 is over, and I will come back."

My brother was especially sad, and insisted to stay with me on my bed. I felt crippling guilt as I slept that night. And my guilt was turning to anger.

 Temitayo, spent my last night in my house with me, trying to do everything to cheer me up. Even Mumsi came eventually to my room to try and gist me, but she left soon after. 

"You couldn't even pretend for mumsi," Tay said to me as she frowned.

"I'm not happy. What's the point?"

"But didn't you want her to come and pick you? Isn't that what you wanted?" Tay asked.

"I wanted that when I was nine, I'm seventeen incase you have not noticed," I snapped.

"I'm not the inventor of HIV, control that nasty tone girl." Tay responded back and I apologized immediately.

"It just seems like she's back because she wants to gain something with my presence." I turned to her and placed a hand on her leg. "Did you see her the day she came Tay? She was rich! So why would she come back for me? It's not like I have anything to offer her. It just doesn't add up."

Tay asked. "Maybe going to her house will help you find your answers?"

I huffed and folded my arms against my chest.

"I wish there was a better way." I grumbled.

"Better way?" Tay said and chuckled. "This is the better way,"

 I did not respond to her, but I lay on my bed in an overwhelming sadness.

"You're going to be fine. Except you forget me sha because if you do you're doomed." Tay broke the silence.

I raised my head and gave her a look.

"You're so proud, I don't even like you." I replied.

"You don't like me? Me? That's dangerous oh,"

Tay responded and I laughed at her high level of delusions.

"But you know I can never forget you," I said to her as I adjusted myself to sit beside her on the bed.

"I don't know anything oh," she responded with a teasing smile and I laughed.

 Tay gave me a hug which I returned and held unto like my life depended on it.

She didn't say it with words, but I knew the hug was one that implied she was going to miss me terribly.

 The next day though, my guilt and sadness turned to anger. Mrs Ireti did not come by herself, rather she sent a driver to pick me up.

After I bade my family and friends a temporary goodbye, I sat in the car with my load in the trunk and an overwhelming anger inside of me.

If she didn't want me then, why does she want me now? 

After about 30 minutes, the car stopped infront of a tall gate and I was awestruck. I knew she was rich but I had no idea she was that rich.

A gateman proceeded to open the large white gates and her house was a giant house. It looked only like a house I'd seen in movies.

Wow.

"Madam, let me help you."

I looked up to see a young woman who looked in her mid twenties if I'm not mistaken, and I smiled whilst shaking my head.

"No ma, don't worry."

I guess she informed her workers I was coming but didn't have the decency to come and get me? 

That's cute if you think about it.

The lady insisted on helping me and kept calling me madam. From the looks of things, she might get into trouble if I don't let her help, so I let her help begrudgingly. She led me the living room that had me awestruck. 

It was large and beautiful, nothing I'd been accustomed to before. Our living room back home was small and homely, not that I'd ever complained. Mumsi did her best to take care of us.

Mumsi.

 Mrs Ireti disrupted my thinking when she came into the living room with a wide smile on her face.

"Good afternoon ma," I greeted without moving from the spot where I stood.

Mrs Ireti gave me a tight hug, and seeing her up close made me realise how alike we look.

"I'm so happy you're here!" She said and words refused to come out of my mouth, so I only nodded. "Please, my dear, feel at home here. This is your home." I also nodded.

But don't they say home is where your heart is?

My heart was no where near this fancy house or fancy life that awaited me, my heart was at home.

The ghettos, the slums, where children pushed wheelbarrows at night for fun, where I helped my mother out in her small restaurant. Home was with Tay and IK, in my little mosquitoes infested room, in mumsi's shop. A hard life that I'd grown to love because I was loved at home and there was food in my stomach, so I was beyond grateful.

But I was also grateful to Mrs Ireti, or my mother, I suppose. Because without her, daddy would have been dead.

"Thank you for helping Mumsi with the hospital bills. We're grateful." I told her after a long awkward silence.

Mrs Ireti smiled and shook her head.

"I'm indebted to Mrs Ulomma for training you to be such a strong and healthy child, despite how hard it must have been. Of course, I would make any effort to take care of her as well."

I made a mental note of her last words. My being here will also make sure Mumsi was secure.

"I would like to introduce you to your half siblings."

She popped out of nowhere.

I guess she noticed the question in my eyes and thought it would be best to clarify.

"I got married a few years ago and my husband has children from his previous marriage and his wife is late. They have been looking forward to your arrival." She said with a smile.

"Are you excited to meet them?"

Of course not!

I only nodded and gave an awkward smile that went unnoticed.

That was all she needed before she sent a servant to call them.