Retrograde

I braced for impact the only way I knew how, by flinging my hands in front of my face and jutting my legs out in a vain attempt to divert the supersonic procession of the executioner's blade from my vitals into the path of my slightly less important internal organs.

Then, after a beat passed, I opened my eyes to find the sky unimpeded by the colossal figure of the brutal black behemoth. I patted my body in disbelief, and turned my head sharply to face the creature's newest perch; as he crooned again.

"Huak, luak, wualk, kuak, wuak! Ver-ry clever-rer! Did you-u teeeach him to-o do-woo that?" The creature clambered onto the struggling curve of the treetop's girthy span like a man trying to balance on a fishing pole, as he taunted; "Or-rore, maybeee, Weee have found your-r-replacement!"