Thirty One

Chapter Thirty One

Lucianna's POV

My whole body didn't stop trembling, the thought of losing my friend because of my stubbornness scares me.

It's almost an hour that passed and there's still no sign of Ashira. I helped looking for her but there's no sign of her presence. No scent, no tracks, nothing.

Jacob didn't talked to me about it. He was also busy looking for Ashira, just like the rest of us.

One thing that kept me shaking was Aiden's deadly glares at me that I can't even look at him. I knew he blames me for it, no one might be asking but I know everyone thinks the same.

That I am the mastermind of all of it.

That I was trying to escape because there's no reason for us to go at the border.

Seth's jaw kept clenching when he looks my way, and I knew perfectly why. I accepts their silent anger, their silent way of blaming me.

No one talks about it, no one blamed me vocally. But that hurts more.

And I'm drowning with the feeling.

"Ashira was found!"

I was quick to stood up, everyone has, too. But Aiden immediately run together with Seth.

I heard she was safe but regret won't make me smile.

She was found! My friend was found!

My hand trembles and even though I wanted to run to where Ashira was, I couldn't. my knees are weak, my body was immobile, and I'm both scared and grateful.

Everyone went off to Ashira and I was left outside the ancestral alone.

I couldn't move.

Can I still see her? Do I have that right?

A huge warm hand clasped on my trembling hand and I jumped as I look at who was the owner of those comforting hand.

"J-Jacob…"

His eyes are… blank. I don't know what's going on in his mind, but I'm sure its not some good thoughts. I looked down, unable to meet his eyes.

He sighed and his grasp on my hand tightened.

I continued feeling grateful of the comfort his warmth was giving me but he can't stop the guilt from eating me whole.

"Everything is fine. You can calm down now." he whispered in a soothing voice that it touched my heart.

My lips trembled and I watched a tear fell to the ground. Jacob was quick to pull me to him, locking me in his embrace and I cried hard.

"It's all my fault! I do this to her!"

My mind was clouded and every words I utter was a blur to me.

Jacob didn't say anything. He just held me, his hug tightening from each passing second and it took me long before my tears subsided.

"Let's go see your friend." he said and I nodded slowly. He slouched down to level his eyes on mine. Pulling up his hand, he carefully wiped my tears. "You won't cry from now on." he whispered.

My mind's focus was not even halved that I just nodded at him without understanding his words.

**

Inside the room, Ashira was laid on the bed, unconscious. Her scent was faint, as if she isn't here and that makes me scared more.

Aiden was seated beside her, not leaving her and letting go of her hand even for a second. I want to go to her, held her, but I'm scared of Aiden's gazes on me.

Seth continued giving me more glares with narrowed eyes. I stopped looking at him or I might run out of the room.

"Ash, baby, I'm here." Aiden said that made me look their way again.

Ashira was awake!

Thank you, moon goddess!

My eyes teared up as I saw my best girl opening her eyes and looking fine. Aiden was frantic as he asked someone to call the pack doctor despite Ashira's denial for medical attention.

Her eyes searched the room and she found mine. I tried to smile, but my eyes watered so I exhaled to stop myself from crying while she looks at me. Her eyes widened, and I know she might be wondering why I'm still here.

Yes, I don't think my escapade was more important than your life, Ashira. I wanted to say but no one was able to come near her because of Aiden's invisible barrier.

When silence finally enveloped the room, I decided to talk to her so she could stop looking at me with amused eyes.

"W-What happened, Ash?" I asked and those three words made all eyes in the room fixated to me except for Aiden who never take his eyes off his mate. I don't need to turn around and check if Jacob was looking at me, too, since his eyes are burning on my back ever since we entered the room.

"I guess I tripped somewhere and… passed out."

There was no way that was true but I didn't pushed my luck to know. No one trips and lose its presence over our enhanced senses.

I was about to apologize to her when the beta of their pack spoke. Ashira looked at me first and smile, I returned it with a weak one.

Aiden dismissed us all, which I expected for him to do. With one last look to Ashira, I smiled genuinely, trying to convey my joy that she was fine. She nodded at me.

I felt Jacob's huge hand on my waist, it grips on me tight but not enough to hurt me, more like a possessive move. But my mind says he was angry.

Once outside the room, I realized one thing. Now, I have no choice but to go with Jacob and even though I pavoided his nagging here… I'm sure he won't hold back when we went to the guesthouse and become alone.

I have nothing to hide now.

I am dead sure he knew what I was planning all along.

**

Jacob drove the truck and we rode in silence as we reached the guesthouse. He parked the car and I slid out of the truck before him, silently preparing myself for the possibility of a huge fight.

The tension between us tells me we will have just that.

Jacob walks behind me, again in silence until we reached the elevator.

I went in first but because I don't know which room was given to us, I let him punch the floor number.

5th floor.

I sighed and looked at Jacob. His jaw was moving, and I guessed he might be putting a lot of restraint to himself. Maybe, he was itching to burst his anger or something? I don't know, but I had a hunch.

Silent, I was hoping that he show me his rage now before it pack up inside his chest. I am still in deep of guilt and regret, I know I will feel tiny over his words because all of it will be true.

I am to blame.

I made another trouble.

A fact that I won't have any power to deny.

The elevator door opened and Jacob leads the way to a door where he swiped a card for it to open. This must be our room.

He moved to the side, still outside of the opened room, and letting me to go inside first.

His eyes never looked for mine and I know he was doing it on purpose. Maybe I'm a disgusting sight right now. For him.

I felt a pinch on my chest by that thought.

Damn.

Why will that hurt you, Lucianna? It's not as if he didn't do that to me…before.

Tss, whatever.

I sighed and stepped inside the room, only to stop when I noticed he didn't followed after me inside.

Turning to look at him, my eyes caught his. He was looking at me with unreadable expression, something that made me uncomfortable.

What was it? Jacob, what are you thinking?

Jacob's tongue clicked when he parted his lips, as if to say something.

I readied myself. Here he goes with his sermon.

I watched him, trying to heightened my wall because I'm starting to feel down and tiny by my thoughts.

His tongue rested on his lower lip, looking down to my body fast before moving back to my eyes.

In the end, what I expected never come. He only sighed and looked away before stepping back.

"This is your room." he said that made my eyes slightly wide. "Lock your door and…" he cleared his throat. "Harley will be just outside if… you need anything."

With that, he walked away.

I was left dumbfounded, with lips parted and uneven breathing.

Did I… heard it right?

This was my room, not… ours?

I bit my lip and run to the door to follow him but the hallway was empty when I peaked through.

Damn it, was he serious? He's… letting me like this?

Slowly, I went back inside.

As if my energy left me, I held on the door and closed it. I leaned on the closed door and closed my eyes.

I started sniffing, tears crawled down my eyes, and my scream of cries was muffled as I closed my mouth with my hand.

Am I a masochist?

Why do I want him to yell at me, to get angry, to…

Damn it.

It hurts even more when you act like this, Jacob.

Stop being kind to me.

Please.

**

Jacob's POV

"What are you doing out here?"

I looked up and saw Brent walking closer. I was out, smoking my lungs out.

I did the right thing, right? I should let her… be.

But what does that face of her means? It's as if she don't want me to go…

I didn't responded to his question and looked at the dark forest in front of me.

I wonder what's different with Prime's forest and ours? I'm not sure if its just me or… its sad to look at it here.

"Why are you still up?" Brent asked again when he stopped and sat on a bar stool beside me.

"Couldn't sleep." I simply answered and puffed on my stick.

Brent didn't speak again and the silence was all that was present around us.

I sighed and flinch when pain passed in my chest again.

She's still crying.

And I wonder why.

Is it because of what happened to her friend? Was it for her plan that has failed?

Lucianna has loosened her guard, maybe unaware of it. I can feel her emotions flooding to me. Nonstop.

And I'm hell confused.

What's your tears for, baby?

"You know-"

"I'm not up for lessons right now, Brent."

I cut him off before he could distract me from focusing on my mate's pain. Why was he here anyway?

Brent sighed and nodded.

"Then let's just talk. This is something that should concern you, Jake. Open up, let it out."

I hissed. "You sound like a girl yearning for a gossip."

"Well, call it whatever you want but--"

"Shut it." I snapped and Brent sighed.

"Fine. What's your plan now? It's good that we renewed the treaty before Lucianna got the Prime Luna in trouble. Have you seen Aiden's glare at your mate?"

I did. And it fucking annoyed me. Only I can make my mate tremble, how dare him to look at my Lucianna that way?

"I'll bet, if it ain't for Lucianna and Luna Ashira being friends, Alpha Aiden must--"

"And you think I'll let him? You think I'll watch him do or say things to my mate?" every words tasted bitter in my mouth.

Brent paled.

"That's not--"

"I will die here if it means I need to protect her. Stop fussing about Aiden's rage, he won't do that to Lucianna and its not because of the reasons you said."

I know that there's more trouble in that accident than what just happened. But its not the dirt that needed for meddling. Aiden must have a solution for that already.

Brent shut up, at last and my mind wandering again.

I'm a strategist. And these days, when my mate was involve, I seem to fail.

Lucianna was not like this when I first met her.

She's full of life, colorful like a rainbow and brighter than the sun. I loved her the moment I saw her, but I was blinded by my own… fucked-up reasons.

I cheated on her.

And after that, she even tried to let it go. She went under desperate measure for me, and I denied my true feelings just because of my gift.

Now, she wanted to escape me.

And surprisingly, I think its better to lose her in peace than to let her do things that might bring herself to any possible danger.

Seeing as what happened tonight, I realized there are things that was capable of… concealing a presence. Just like what happened to Ashira.

The luna came back, but what if its not Ashira but Lucianna that was being a target?

Can I take it if something like that happen to Lucianna?

For me to lose her, for real?

I don't think so.

"Say, Brent," I said, staring at nothingness and almost speaking without the presence of my right mind.

"Huh?"

"Say, I let go of Lucianna, how will that affect…me?"

Though myself was the least of my concern.

And I'm starting to think about it, the more… clear-headed way.

Because I'd rather her to have her peace than to let her be in danger as she tries to escape someone as hateful as me.