Chapter 43: Chocolate goat poop

The forest was alive with its usual nocturnal symphony—the chirping of insects, the rustling of leaves, and the distant howls of unseen beasts. Countless pairs of emerald eyes blinked in the darkness, watching from the underbrush. This was the wild's natural rhythm—untamed, primal, and indifferent.

But tonight, that rhythm had been disrupted.

Two outsiders had entered the forest: Jon and Rin, now stranded and exhausted after barely surviving the chaos of the airship explosion and subsequent battle with Illumi.

By the faint glow of a modest campfire, Jon sat cross-legged, gnawing absently on some odd fruits he'd gathered. The fire crackled gently, casting long shadows across the nearby trees. He was quiet, his eyes half-lidded in thought.

He'd managed to scrape together enough gold from the Hunter Exam prize, plus whatever spoils he collected during the encounter with Illumi. It was enough to draw another card from his gacha inventory.

But what appeared in the draw almost made him break the fruit in half.

"Lucky Start! Mr. Kars's Loincloth: Waving this under sunlight increases your charm stat!"

Jon blinked. Then stared. Then blinked again.

"...Charm?"

A long silence.

He stared at the glittering description again, then looked at the loincloth, then at the setting sun behind the treetops.

Nope. Not worth it.

Waving that ridiculous piece of cloth under the sun would probably get him arrested. Or shot. Probably both. And here in the forest? There wasn't even a trash can to throw it away in.

He sighed deeply. His luck had clearly taken a nosedive. First the airship explodes, then he gets ambushed by one of the most dangerous assassins alive, and now… this?

"Forget it. I'll draw again when my luck turns around."

He folded the loincloth back into his inventory with a grimace and turned back to his fruit. The fire crackled again, louder this time. His chewing echoed against the dark trees.

But then he froze.

There was something off. Too quiet. The usual sounds of the wild had thinned, replaced by a subtle tension in the air.

Jon's eyes shifted sideways. He could feel it—the awkwardness. Thicker than nen aura.

Earlier today had been embarrassing. Utterly humiliating, actually.

He'd tried to survive using instincts alone and ended up eating a poisonous forest fruit. Only after he took several bites did Rin return and look at him like he'd just declared war on common sense.

"You trying to die?" she asked flatly.

Turns out the fruit was a well-known toxic plant, something even children in this world could identify. Jon had judged it was edible because he saw a stork-like bird snatch a few and fly off unharmed.

What he didn't know was that the bird had natural antibodies. A human would've died in two days—slowly and painfully.

Luckily, Rin had brought back some actual food: a roasted red bird, its skin crispy and steaming.

She tossed it to Jon like someone throwing scraps to a stray dog. And right now, Jon felt like one.

The worst part? He missed Lindsay. Back in the Hunter Exam on Barro Island, Lindsay—walking encyclopedia and human GPS—had saved him multiple times. This time? No laptop, no data, no guide. Just him, a poisoned berry, and a girl who looked like she wanted to strangle him.

Rin hadn't said much since they stopped. Her first mission as a pro Hunter had ended in disaster. She was still fuming. And it wasn't just about the failed escort—her master had personally vouched for her. This failure would reflect badly on them too.

The silence stretched longer.

Even the fire seemed to burn quieter, as if afraid to interrupt the awkward atmosphere.

Finally, Jon glanced up at the night sky and said, "Wind's noisy tonight, huh?"

It was the kind of line someone said in an anime when they had no idea what else to say. Level 10 Awkward Small Talk.

Rin stared at him blankly.

Then she blinked once.

"Have you… never spoken to a girl before?"

Jon looked away, expression flat. No, he really hadn't. Not in his past life, not in this one. If he'd had decent social skills, he wouldn't have died a lonely virgin. In this world, his interactions were worse.

He'd only been in school for a few weeks—and it was an all-boys school.

The Hunter Exam? Mostly men. And the women? Usually towering, knife-wielding psychos. Or gun-toting bounty hunters yelling about debt and glory.

The Heaven's Arena?

Forget it. The gender ratio was tragic. He hadn't even fought a female opponent yet. If not for a few nice-looking staff women, Jon might've assumed women just didn't exist in professional combat sports.

Training. Fighting. Learning Nen. That's all he'd focused on.

The single life wasn't glamorous, but it was simple.

Rin broke the silence again.

"Here." She held out the roasted bird. "It'll go to waste otherwise."

Jon hesitated, throat dry. It did smell amazing. But he hated owing people favors.

"I'm fine," he said stiffly.

"I don't get you," Rin said with a slight glare. "Just eat. I'm full anyway."

Jon looked at her, then at the bird.

Then back at her.

She didn't seem annoyed anymore. Just tired. They both were. The long day had stripped them of strength, pride, and emotional bandwidth. They had nothing left but the fire and the food in front of them.

Jon took the bird, exhaled, and nodded.

"…Thanks."

The next morning, Jon set out alone to hunt. After yesterday's trauma with poisonous plants and a certain stork-like liar, he had made a firm decision: no more foraging.

"If it doesn't scream or run away, I'm not eating it," he muttered to himself as he slipped through the jungle underbrush.

His logic was simple. Mammals were generally safe—just lop off the head and tail, and most of the dangerous stuff would be gone. It wasn't elegant, but it was survival.

Soon, he came across a population of monkeys nesting deep in the cliffs. They shrieked and scattered when he approached, leaving behind a stash of round, black spheres tucked away in their cave.

Jon plucked one up and sniffed it.

"Huh… smells sweet."

He gave it a cautious lick.

"…Chocolate?"

The taste was faintly sweet, with a slightly earthy aroma. It reminded him of some off-brand truffles he once ate in his past life—discount bin delicacies from a gas station.

Still, edible was edible.

He pocketed a few and continued on, eventually tracking and killing two wild goats after a brief chase. He marked the trail on the way back using Stone Free, threading its durable strings between trees so he wouldn't lose his way. The forest was dense and treacherous—getting lost was dangerously easy.

When Jon returned to camp, he paused, blinking in surprise.

The site had changed drastically.

All the trees within a five-meter radius had been cut down. What was once a shaded clearing was now a bare patch of earth, allowing full sunlight to pour in. There was a sense of preparation to it, of caution.

Jon looked over at Rin, who stood calmly near the fire pit. She didn't greet him—just walked over, took the goats from his hands, and began preparing them for roasting with precise, practiced movements.

Jon raised an eyebrow. He knew how to cook… technically. But his cooking was a crime against nature. Yesterday's attempt had ended in a charred mess that even the fire seemed reluctant to consume. That's why he'd accepted Rin's roast chicken without complaint.

And now, he had a gift.

He pulled out the small black sphere from earlier and held it out with the proud sincerity of a man who thought he was doing something sweet.

"Hey Rin, check this out. I found something really good. It's sweet. You'll like it."

Rin glanced up from the goat, her brow furrowed slightly. She looked at the black orb, then back at Jon.

A pause.

Her eyes widened.

"…Is that goat poop?"

Jon froze. His soul nearly left his body.

"…What the FUCK is Chocolate goat poop?"

Rin pointed at the object in his hand with a look of genuine disbelief. "That's Chocolate goat poop. I've seen it before—black, round, and usually found in piles. I thought you were holding a joke gift."

"I—wait, no, I didn't know—!"

Rin backed away slightly, hands raised as if deflecting psychic damage.

"I treated you like a friend, and you tried to get me to eat poop."

"No! I mean—I thought it was chocolate!" Jon stammered, looking utterly betrayed by his own tongue. "Monkeys were storing it. They eat fruit, so I thought—never mind!"

Rin gave him a long, deadpan stare.

"...You licked it, didn't you?"

Jon could feel a cold sweat building. He slowly opened his hand and dropped the "gift" like it was a live grenade.

"If I said I didn't eat it, would you believe me?"

Rin tilted her head, a sly smirk forming. "Well, I have heard that chocolate goat poop is a rare delicacy among some shady Nobles and such. If that's your taste, I understand."

Jon nearly fell over.

She doesn't believe me at all!

Face burning with shame, he turned away in silence, dragging his feet toward the trees like a man walking to his own execution.

With a burst of energy, he summoned Stone Free and began clearing more trees. The Stand sliced through trunks and branches with machine-like precision, rapidly expanding the cleared area around the camp to nearly ten meters.

Jon didn't speak—he was too focused, too determined to erase his own embarrassment from memory through brute force labor.

This wasn't just for show. The cleared zone served two critical purposes: it reduced the risk of wildfire from stray sparks, and more importantly, it gave the rescue team a better visual from the sky when they arrived—in five very long, very poop-free days.

Also, as licensed Hunters, they had full authority to alter the environment as needed for survival. The trees weren't rare species, and no laws were being broken.