chapter 14

raising her wand threateningly.

Sirius tried to get up, to move away from her wand, but he couldn't. The spell had left him too weak. "Please, mother. Stop, please. I'm sorry. Please, don't."

Walburga ignored his pleading.

"I haven't heard you swear anything yet," she said.

"I can't," he said. "Mother, please, don't." He tried to shield his bloody arm from her wand.

"Crucio!" she cried again.

He writhed in pain, yelling because he couldn't help it, unable to see even though his eyes were open. It lasted longer than before. Or maybe that was just because it was the third time. All he knew was pain, horrible, awful, pain... and then it was over again, but not really. His body was weak, he was trembling, and everything was still sore.

It took longer for the room to come back into focus. He saw his mother, but was much to weak to move away or defend himself.

"Foolish boy," she snapped. "Are your blood traitor friends really worth this?"

"Yes," he moaned, using every bit of strength he had left.

"Wrong answer," Walburga said. She quickly muttered the stinging jinx incantation under her breath, and there was a flash of white light. A second later, Sirius cried out in pain as a large welt a appeared on the same arm he already had a gash on. He clutched his arm in pure agony.

"Please, mother!" he cried. "Please, I'm begging you, stop!"

"Pathetic," she said. "Maybe some more pain to toughen you up?"

"No, please..." Sirius said again. "Not again. Please."

"You useless blood traitor," she growled. "You shame me and this house in everything you do. You're not even worth this time." She looked down at him in disgust.

To his immense relief and surprise, she left the room.

He lay on the office room floor, unable to move, his body was so weak. He hadn't even been home for an hour, and she had already used the Cruciatus three times. That was a record, even for her. Sirius had a feeling it was not going to be a fun Christmas.

Suddenly, he felt a tap on the arm. It was gentle, buy he cringed in pain anyways. He should have known his mother wouldn't just leave. I was too good to be true.

"Sirius?" the person said.

It was Regulus.too well and paid too much attention to Sirius for it to go unnoticed.

And now, Remus was the cause of that expression. He'd told Sirius that he was no better than his family when it was who Remus put that closed-off expression on his face. Remus hurt Sirius so badly he resorted to the only defence he knew, locking himself away from the world to protect himself from getting more hurt.

Remus pulled at his hair as one horrible small part of him felt satisfaction at making Sirius feel a fraction of the hurt he felt. He pressed a hand to his mouth to muffle the pained sounds escaping his lips at the loss of his best friend and the pieces of Remus he ripped out with him.

He heard the door of the bathroom open, and someone called his name. Soon he met the kind eyes of Peter Pettigrew and James Potter, who immediately fell to the dirty bathroom floor, wrapping his arms around Remus, holding him together. Remus tried to speak but all that came out were garbled words and choking sounds.

"Shh, it's fine. Just breathe, you're gonna be ok." James whispered, squeezing him tighter and murmuring soothing words in his ear.

Peter's hand ran soothingly through his hair, untangling his hand that fell limp to the floor and Remus couldn't breathe because there he was, being comforted by his friends while Sirius was all alone left in that abandoned classroom, his face empty and his eyes dull.

"I fucked up, James. I- l said some horrible stuff to him." Remus hiccuped as soon as he calmed down a bit.

James pulled back a bit, frowning, his eyes hardening the smallest amount at the mention of Sirius. "You're angry, you have every right to be. Whatever you said he probably deserved it." There was a sad glint in James' eyes that Remus pretended not to see. He shook his head vehemently.

"Maybe he did but I shouldn't have said it, it was s-so horrible. You didn't see how he looked at me, James. He looked at me the way he looks around his parents."

James' eyes flashed in understanding and Peter looked confused, never having seen Sirius with his parents since he always arrived last at King's Cross. James pulled him wordlessly into a hug again.

Hogwarts, Friday the 18th of June, 1976. 7:50

The next day, the spirits at the Gryffindor table were dampened as people whispered and glanced curiously between James, Peter, and Remus who were sitting quietly at the table, poking at their food with Sirius nowhere to be seen.

You'd think a whole week would be enough for them to adjust to this new change, but everyone missed the marauders. Even McGonagall glanced at them from time to time, her face tight with worry. Usually, at this time of the year, they were seen discussing amicably, heads drawn together, planning the yearly epic end-of-term prank.

They had woken up with Sirius' stuff gone from their dorm room and a small part of Remus' heart ached for him, overpowered by the much larger angry, hurt, and betrayed part. He still regretted saying those horrible things to Sirius but the betrayal hurt freshly in his mind. They still had two whole weeks of classes left before they were allowed to leave and Remus already sensed the impending headache