Chapter 5: Torn Emotions
The night had been long.
YoungBok hadn’t gone back to the dorm. Instead, he stayed over at Chris’s apartment, curling up on the edge of the guest bed but never truly sleeping. His eyes were open the whole night, locked on the ceiling as if the plaster held answers. His phone buzzed once—Hyunjin’s name lighting up the screen—but he didn’t move. He couldn’t. Not when his heart was still in pieces on the floor of that dorm room.
Sherri didn’t sleep either. She went back to her tiny one-room apartment. She sat on the floor for hours, back against the wall, knees hugged to her chest as guilt gnawed at her like an open wound. The room felt too quiet, too still, like it was punishing her with silence. Every creak of the building sounded like a whisper of that kiss. A memory she couldn’t run from. A moment that ruined everything.
Hyunjin couldn’t stay still. The dorm felt like a cage. Every corner reminded him of laughter, of smiles, of YoungBok’s voice. Now there was nothing. He tried texting again. And again.
“Please talk to me.”
No reply.
His heart twisted more with every unanswered message. He hated himself. For what he did. For how easily he’d let emotion override judgment. For how much he missed both of them.
Three people.
Three rooms.
All of them awake.
The pain of love.
The pain of betrayal.
The pain of hurting, and being hurt.
The night stretched endlessly. Pillows were wet. None of them whole.
---
The next day, silence ruled.
Hyunjin wandered the dorm like a ghost. YoungBok hadn’t returned. His room stood untouched, cold and silent. No texts. No calls. The distance felt worse than death.
Sherri stayed at her apartment, eyes hollow. She didn’t eat. Couldn’t. Every time she thought of YoungBok, she saw the pain in his eyes. Not anger. Just… heartbreak. Like she’d shattered something irreplaceable.
Because she had.
---
He came back the next afternoon.
The door opened, quiet as a sigh. Hyunjin looked up from the couch.
“YoungBok—”
But the boy didn’t look at him. He didn’t even slow his steps. He walked right past, backpack slung low, shoulders weighed down by silence. He went straight to their bedroom and shut the door behind him with a soft finality that sounded like a scream.
Hyunjin stood frozen. It would’ve hurt less if YoungBok had yelled. Hit him. Cursed. But this? This emptiness was worse.
---
Later that evening, the storm broke.
Hyunjin knocked once and opened the door without waiting.
YoungBok was sitting on the edge of the bed, head bowed, hands clenched.
“You can’t just ignore me forever.”
“Look at me.”
Hyunjin stepped closer. “I messed up. But we need to talk.”
YoungBok’s voice was a whip. “You kissed her.”
“It wasn’t like that. I didn’t plan it—”
“You kissed her,” he repeated, louder this time, like saying it might make it stop hurting.
He stood, finally facing Hyunjin. His eyes were wild with grief. “You kissed her, Hyunjin. So what am I? Just something to hide behind; when you get scared?”
“Don’t twist this,” Hyunjin whispered, trembling. “You know I love you.”
YoungBok shouted a bitter laugh. “Do I? Because while I was planning your birthday; you were off falling into someone else’s arms.”
“I didn’t mean to—”
“But you did!” YoungBok roared. “You kissed her like you meant it.”
Silence fell.
Tense.
Loud.
“You don’t get to say you love me after that,” YoungBok whispered, voice cracking.
Hyunjin’s knees almost gave out.
---
Next day, at the studio...
Sherri had forced herself to show up for work. She needed the distraction. But her hands shook when she opened the practice room door and found YoungBok there alone, going through dance steps like a machine.
She stood there for a long second. He noticed her. He didn’t stop dancing.
Her voice was quiet. “Can I talk to you?”
He didn’t answer.
“I’m sorry.”
No response.
She stepped in further, clutching her sleeves. “I know saying that doesn’t fix anything. But I had to say it. I never wanted to hurt you.”
Still nothing.
She bit her lip. “I love you. Just... not the way he does.”
YoungBok’s foot paused mid-step.
“I love how safe you make me feel. How gentle you are. You feel like home, Bok. But with him, it’s like drowning. It's terrifying and beautiful. But I never meant to hurt you. Hyunjin loves you. I’m sorry, I started loving him like a man, and I also love you, because you are his man. And he loves you more than anything. I’m sorry, I’m really sorry”.
Finally, he turned.
“You kissed him back.”
She nodded, tears pooling. “Yes. And I hate myself for it.”
His jaw tensed. “Then why did you?”
“Because I was scared. And broken. And I thought I’d lost you both already.”
He stared at her for a long beat. “Don’t talk to me about love if you don’t know how to protect it.”
And he walked out of the studio.
---
The real fight came the next night.
Sherri was at her apartment when Hyunjin showed up, eyes red, hands trembling.
“I can’t breathe in there.”
She said nothing. Just let him in.
He collapsed onto the couch.
Then into her lap.
And cried.
She stroked his hair, silent, holding the pieces of him as he broke.
---
Back at the dorm, YoungBok sat alone on his bed. He stared at his phone, at the lock screen photo—Hyunjin with his arms around him, laughing like nothing could go wrong.
He turned it off.
---
The next day, the dorm exploded.
Sherri wasn’t there.
Hyunjin and YoungBok stood face to face in their room, rage and pain turning the air thick.
“I said I was sorry!”
“And I said it doesn’t fix anything!”
“I love you, Bok!”
“You don’t hurt people you love like that!”
“I didn’t mean to!”
“Then why didn’t you stop? Why didn’t you think of me before you kissed her?”
Hyunjin’s voice cracked. “Because I didn’t know how to say no.”
YoungBok flinched like he’d been slapped. “Then maybe you don’t deserve either of us.”
They stood there, breathing hard. Rage and grief coiled like smoke.
“I love you,” Hyunjin whispered. “I never stopped.”
YoungBok didn’t reply.
But his eyes shimmered.
And his fists were no longer clenched.
---
That night, Hyunjin didn’t go back to the dorm.
He went back to Sherri’s apartment.
She didn’t ask questions.
Just opened the door.
He collapsed onto her lap again, and she let him.
And for the second night, he cried.
Only this time, she cried too.
“I don’t want to lose him,” Hyunjin whispered.
“Then let’s not,” she said softly.
And maybe—just maybe—they could find a way to save what was left.
Together.
They stayed like that, tangled in silence, pain, and something fragile but real—regret, yes, but also love.
Hyunjin didn’t sleep. He just lay there, listening to her heartbeat like it might anchor him back to reality.
Sherri stared at the ceiling, whispering a silent prayer that somehow, the three of them could survive this.
Because love like theirs didn’t fit into boxes.
It wasn’t perfect.
It wasn’t easy.
But it was real.
And maybe that was enough to fight for.
Somewhere across the city, YoungBok lay awake too—eyes open, heart heavy, a single question echoing in his mind:
Can broken things ever be beautiful again?
The answer would come. Not tonight. But soon.
When words were ready.
When hearts were brave enough.
When love, wounded and waiting, chose to try again.
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