Chapter 6 – Happy New Year
10th November 2023
"hi lola"
11th November 2023
"hi there"
12th November 2023
"I missed you, lola. Really..."
I miss Yazid too.
But it's more than that. I miss how we used to talk about nothing for hours. I miss the way he calmed my storms with just one sentence. I miss the quiet warmth that only he could give me through a screen, miles away, and still somehow so close. And now, I finally admit it to myself. I've fallen.
Not the dizzy, head-over-heels type. But the soft, aching kind of love that creeps in when you're not looking.
I was going to tell him on New Year's Eve. But the truth is that he never reads my long messages.
Every time he came back, it was like nothing happened.
"Hi." That was it.
No explanation, no reply to what I said before.
I felt... invisible. But still, I couldn't hate him. I couldn't stop waiting.
So I texted him:
"I miss us sharing stories and playing Truth or Dare. But maybe you're too busy. I understand I'm probably not that important to you. I still always hope for chances to talk, even though I've been busy with studying too..."
He was quiet. Typing.
Then deleting. Typing again.
Then finally sent:
"Sorry so much."
I replied:
"It's okay. You didn't read my texts above. Sorry about that."
Deep down, I knew he didn't read them. Maybe I'm just someone he talks to when he's bored. He appears, we talk for a few days, then he disappears.
Still... I liked him. I liked how he listened. I liked how he made my pain feel lighter.
So, no matter what, I'd tell him—on New Year's Eve.And maybe he will be my prince?
"Don't say that, lola. I'll read it now."
I smiled bitterly. He wouldn't.
"It's okay. You don't have to, Shin. Are you tired?"
I felt myself draw a line between us, gently, quietly.
"Yeah. I have to get good grades or my mom will complain… or my dad will scold me."
I understood.
We chatted a little more.
Then the usual:
"I gotta go. I'll come back."
That line always made me wait.
But he didn't come back.
Now, it's 31st December.
The last day of the year.
The night I chose to confess.
If he doesn't feel the same… I'll disappear. No drama. No noise. Just gone.
I was sitting at my desk. Studying.
Earbuds in. Playing "Tek It" on repeat.
Alone.
11:00 PM
ting ting.
That sound. My heart skipped.
It was him.
He texted first.
Just random questions about my day, my food, my studying.
I almost forgot what I was waiting for.
Then I typed:
"I have something to tell you."
"Oh, just tell me, princess."
God. That word again. Princess.
I swear he doesn't even know what it does to me.
I copied the message I had written days ago, held my breath, and hit send.
'Dear Yazid,
Since the day you came into my life, everything changed.
You're my hero.You pulled me back when I was slipping into the darkest parts of myself.
I always look forward to seeing your name pop up. I love the way you say princess—and I secretly hope I'm the only one you say that to.I was scared to tell you, because you never read my long texts. But I can't hold it in anymore.
I like you. I really, really like you.'
11:45 PM
He was reading.
My hands were shaking like mad.
The minutes ticked.
Then…
"I like you too, lola. I've had feelings for you for a long time. I should've said it first.
You understood why I disappear.You didn't get mad. You just waited.
We laugh the same, think the same.You're my angel. My princess.
And one more thing…I love reading your texts."
I stared at the screen, grinning like an idiot.
My heart? Somewhere doing backflips.
11:58 PM
"Lola, Happy New Year in advance.
I wish you more smiles, less stress, and PLEASEmore sleep.
Also, can you stop calling me a ghost? I'm just a busy boy, not Casper with WiFi issues."
I laughed. Out loud.
Leave it to him to go from sweet to silly in two seconds flat.
I replied:
"Happy New Year, Shin.
I wish you less homework, better WiFi, and maybe… a little less disappearing. Just a little."
He sent 👻 and replied:
"Deal. But only if you promise to stay my princess forever."
11:59 PM
Then… one more message:
"Lola… one day, I'll find you. Not on screen. In real life. Promise."
But as the clock hit midnight, a quiet question stayed in my heart—
What if "one day" never comes?
Anyways, I believe him. I believe my princess.