[08] The Real Starting Point

"..." 

'???'

'Why can't I utter a word? It's like my mouth is sewed shut.'

Nathaniel panicked as he tried to talk. However, no matter what he did, no words came out of his mouth. Even his body was stiff. There was this familiar sensation of losing control of his body. As if someone is pulling his strings. The man on the side didn't notice the strangeness of the boy. He just proceeded to eat the lavish meal in front of him.

Meanwhile Nathaniel was sitting there stiffly without any movements. As though he was petrified into a stone. His mind spun as he kept feeling this strangeness ever since he woke up. Everything was unreal. There's this constant sense of loss.

'Something's missing. What is it? I feel like I'm forgetting something. IT's in the tip of my tongue. Something very important.'

The boy's brows furrowed, there's this something tugging in his brain. He could feel the veins in his head thumping as his temples started to ache. His eyes stared erratically everywhere since it's the only part of his body that he could move. He felt disoriented, as if something's pulling him apart. His mental chaos was a stark contrast to the lavish surroundings and the majestic man sitting by his side.

His panicked eyes paused when he saw his reflection on the wine glass. His sky-blue pupils constricted when he saw a very familiar face there. It has his, Nathaniel's face! His black hair was messy, his face looked haggard and exhausted. In addition to that, what was striking him the most was the blood stains on his face.

'What happened? Why am I seeing myself? Why do I have blood on my face?'

Unconsciously, he was finally able to control his hands! He reached out his hands to caress his cheeks. With his fingers trembling, He avoided his gaze on the glass and slowly peered towards his hands in front of him. Blood. There was blood on his fingertips. He could feel it. Something warm and sticky was on his face. The metallic scent invading his nose.

"What's wrong? Why don't you eat?" The person on his side asked, His original low commanding voice slowly distorting to something else.

Nathaniel turned his face stiffly to the side. The person eating there earlier has disappeared. The whole place turned gloomy, with lights flickering and the deafening silence spreading around the room. He was finally feared with fear and nervousness. With a bang, the chair he was sitting on fell down on the marble floors as he stood up abruptly.

"For pete's sake what is happening?!" Nathaniel couldn't help but shout frustrated. He roamed his eyes and seeing that there was no one else in this room besides him, he immediately dashed towards the door.

"What the fuck?! Why won't it open?!" Desperately, he turned the doorknob, which was proved a futile attempt because it won't budge. He then resorted to crashing on the door. "This is some horror movie typa shit! I swear to my mother's name if I get out of here, I'll report you guys to the police."

However, the door still didn't budge. What he got in return was immense shoulder pain. He was screaming in his head when he felt something warm against his feet. He glanced down and screamed in fright when he saw that blood has started filling the room, now reaching his ankles.

"Have you forgotten? Xael?" A male gruff voice sounded behind him.

With his heart pounding loudly, Nathaniel turned his head like a robot. There he saw behind him was a number of people standing uniformly. All staring at him dead in the eye. Nathaniel's eye's widened as he saw them. They all looked very familiar. Who are they? Where had he seen them? Nathaniel couldn't help but grab his head when the pain he felt in his head turned intense. As if someone was hammering nails on his skull with immense force.

"Hah...who?..." Nathaniel asked. His voice pained.

"You were the one who killed us." A woman's voice answered to which Nathaniel raised his gaze. There he saw a naked woman with a gaping stab wound on her chest. Blood flowing from it towards the floor. His eyes widened, speechless, as he saw that the others also changed. From the original normal appearance. Now some of them have their head missing, some stabbed in the heart, a slash on their throat and some on their abdomen.

"Killed? No, I didn't kill anyone... I..." He muttered desperately to himself as the pain in his head grew intense. As though someone was rearranging the memories in his brain. There, he saw it. A certain memory, He saw an image of a boy standing with his back against the rising sun. With a bloodied knife at hand.

Nathaniel saw everything. How the brunette slashed the guy's throat effortlessly, stabbing another and slicing the others. How he mercilessly stabbed the girl on her heart. It was a grotesque scene. All the way the boy's face was devoid of any emotion as if an unfeeling murderer.

"It wasn't me! It was Xael!" He screamed to which the apparitions in front of him laughed with ridicule.

"You are Xael. It was your own hands that killed us."

"I begged you."

"I cried."

"You killed my companion."

"I knelt and groveled."

"You killed me."

The dead bodies started whispering, screaming, crying, and begging. Everything was so chaotic. Nathaniel knelt on the pool of rising blood. His eyes were unfocused as he continued shouting. Denying that he was the person who killed them. But the reflection on the blood opposed his inner thoughts. He saw the Xael's face instead of his.

"Do not forget. You are Xael. A murderer who has blood on his hands."

BAM!

As if something short circuited, everything went dark. There were no apparitions, no messy voices scratching his mind. Everything was calm. As if he has woken up from a nightmare. Nathaniel stood in the vast darkness. He started walking, yet no matter how long he walked he couldn't seem to reach the end of it. He was stuck in a boundless abyss.

"Where am I?" For the nth time, Nathaniel could hear himself asking this question.

In response, something similar to a projected white screen appeared. There he saw a very familiar scene. It was him standing in front of the old ATM machine. And as what his memory remembered. He saw himself frustrated and panicking when the old machine blacked out. How he breathed in relief when it booted up again and how he was crushed by a large ten-wheeler truck.

His eyes stared at the very familiar mysterious text that appeared. He finally remembered everything now. He remembered how he woke up in this different world. How he escaped and hid for two days, the two days he spent escaping, all disoriented and scared. How he was near his freedom and how the task suddenly appeared then to the point where 'He' killed all of Xael's pursuers. Nathaniel couldn't help but feel nauseous when he remembered the gory scenes he had witnessed.

[Punishment has been completed!] 

[Development of Hidden role is in Progress...]

"Hey you. Mysterious text. Are you the one who sent me here?" Nathaniel questioned with his hands against his stomach. 

[No. The World's Will is only responsible for guiding you once you were here.]

"I want to go back home. Please send me back." 

[Cannot. Nathaniel is dead. You are now Xael.]

"Jesu- Hahh. Ever since I woke up it's always been Xael this Xael that. I am Nathaniel! I am not Xael!" He couldn't help but complain as he grew irritated. He wasn't that guy. He's Nathaniel! A first-year Civil engineering student back from earth! 

[You are now Xael. It is impossible to go back now since Nathaniel is dead.]

[But if you completed the hidden role, The World's Will can generate enough energy to reverse the timeline of your world to go back when Nathaniel was still alive.]

Helpless, Nathaniel combed his hair in frustration when he saw the mysterious text's reply. "So, you're saying I got no choice but complete this hidden role you were talking about. Is that it?"

[Affirmative.]

"What happened to the real Xael?" Nathaniel asked curiously. Since his body on earth is dead then where did Xael's soul go?

[He is currently in deep slumber inside the body you're occupying. And he will return once you have finished your role.]

He breathed deeply as he stared at the text for a few seconds. Pondering what he's going to do now. Well, it's not like the World's Will presented him any other choice. If this is a multiple-choice test, then all the choices available would've been letter A. Defeated, he turned towards the mysterious text again.

"What do I have to do now?"

[Wake up and formally start your journey.]

[Do not forget, you are now Xael Eitan Laurhette.]

[The World's Will wishes Xael good luck.]

Nathaniel's eyebrows twitched before he suddenly felt a sense of weightlessness. He screamed in shock as he fell to a pit of darkness. "AAAAAAH!"

The last thing he remembered was a spot of light descending along with him. Subconsciously his hands reached for that spot of light and held it safely against his chest as he continued to fall down the abyss. He felt calmness as he let himself fall freely, his brown hair flowing wildly because of the wind. He continued to fall until he couldn't see the mysterious text anymore.

'Everything's absurd. I'm in another world occupying someone else's body. I even have to play some kind of hidden role. What does this new life have in store for me?'

Nathaniel thought to himself as he finally closed his eyes. When darkness covered his vision, He could hear faint sounds being spoken to him. He saw a vision. Wait- rather than a vision it was as if he was seeing someone else memory. It was in first Point of View. As though he was relieving someone else's life. He saw how the baby grew up to a young man. His face was very familiar. That person was Xael.

Born in a family known for their high affinity of magic, Xael was welcomed with enthusiasm to the Laurhette Family. Along with it was the immense expectation and pressure from everyone, for him to continue his family legacy. Everything was going well, He was smart, He was kind, and he excelled in his studies. All took a drastic turn when the rare Lotus event happened. The Lotus event was known to grow a flower bud at random in the academy's treasured hall. 

It was known to test a person's affinity even if they haven't awakened their magic yet. The number of petals that the tester was able to bloom successfully, signifies the depth of his/her magic affinity. The higher the number of petals that bloomed means the higher the person could attain when honing his/her magic. A very rare happening would be someone evoking a color when blooming the lotus. It means that the tester not only has proficiency in magic but in other areas as well. Take for example alchemy.

All the enrollees were tested and of course Xael was included too. He stood there with an eager smile. He was ready to make his family and the people who supported him proud. He stood in front of the Lotus and reached out his hands to touch its closed buds. However, even after a few minutes has passed there was still no reaction from the lotus. The hall was blanketed in silence. It was unbelievable. This event only signifies that the treasured son of the Laurhette family was magicless!

Nathaniel saw how Xael's smile has gone stiff. The whispers echoing in the hall as they stared at him with heated gaze. In a span of one day everything crumbled. When he attended the academy the next day, disdainful glances were casted at him. They didn't confront him but he could hear their ridicule behind his back. But he still kept his smile even if it is forced.

Once the autumn break came where the students could finally go back to their family. There comes the breaking point. The family, his relatives that supported him all his life. They turned their backs at him, treating him like an anomaly. His mother grew sick and bedridden to which he wasn't allowed to enter her room. Not even once has he gotten a glance of his mother. His father was busy with work, barely giving him any attention as he took off for the palace early in the morning and arriving late at night.

Even the maids and other personnels treated him like a waste. They rarely come to clean his room; they served him only stale bread and a glass of cold water. It was difficult. He felt like a stranger living in the house he grew up all his life. What broke the camel's back was when he returned back from school. In contrast to the original silence and ridicule. Everything became much worse.

It was known that the family of Lhaurette despised the abnormal Xael who doesn't have magic affinity. The others knew that his family wasn't protecting him now. And so, things started getting violent. At first everything was simple as if they were testing the waters. They shoved him in the lockers or push him whenever they walked pass him. Throwing his meals, ripping his books, painting on his uniforms and when they saw that Xael didn't retaliate not to mention there wasn't any reaction from the House of Laurhette. It started getting worse. They'd corner him and beat him up. Some even used magic on hurting him as if rubbing salt to the wounds.

He was broken. Battered. He could barely force his stiff smile on his face. The professors didn't care. Even if they witnessed it in person, they'd just tell them to keep it quiet. Of course they're disappointed. The prodigy they expected to further let their school shine was a magicless waste. There was even a point where he almost died. He was locked in the male's rest room, with his body wet since they poured dirty water on him. It was situated in the very far east wing building to which other students rarely pass by. He was stuck there for four days. He was starved and thirsty. He barely survived when a passing janitor that was cleaning the restroom's noticed him. 

He was immediately sent to the medical area, but the clerics assigned didn't bother to give him any treatment with holy light. Instead, he was left on the clinic bed to recover. Not even bothering to change his clothes. Xael developed a high fever. He was delirious as he spent the night at the clinic all alone as he curled up on the bed. For the first time since he discovered he was magicless, he shed tears as he sobbed quietly alone. He only had one wish; it was to be able to see his gentle mother again. He miraculously survived the high fever. He was sent back to his dorm to rest.

That was where the memory ended. While watching Xael, unconsciously tears dropped from Nathaniel's eyes. He could feel the gut-wrenching pain in his heart as he saw what Xael experiences. "What the hell man... sob... you could've...could've...sob... retaliated at least... y'know give them a punch or two... sob... they deserved to be kicked in the balls, so their nasty bloodline doesn't spread."

Nathaniel covered his eyes as river of tears could be seen flowing from his eyes. His lips pursed as quiet sobs erupted from his throat. He was a very empathetic person. He could feel the fear, pain, anxiousness, helplessness and despair that Xael has gone through. Normally he'd boo if he sees a grown man crying but this time. He let himself cry in Xael's stead. That person deserved much better than all the shit he went through.

Seeing Xael's memory has completely erased his reluctance of going along with the world's will. He has also accepted that he was now Xael. He wiped his tears before firmly staring at Xael's curled up figure. "Don't worry bro. Let me borrow your body for a while. I'll take care of everything before you return. So just sleep tight for a bit."