2
Uzumaki Naruto had seen a plethora of unusual things throughout his life but something about this just did him in. He was curled up on Rias' lap, with roaring laughter emanating from his mouth. He just couldn't hold it in, it was as ridiculous and adorable as Rias' former chuuni tendencies. Why must people grow up? He wondered. He missed the days when he would poke fun at Rias for doing spirits guns. Well… That and irresponsibly using her magic for effect especially during entrances. That was pretty hilarious but what he was watching was just… Wow…
Akeno covered her mouth, giggling because Naruto's laughter infected her. Koneko was smiling and Kiba was giving Issei a sympathetic look. All eyes were on the teenager at the center, making him a bit uncomfortable as he attempted to pull out his power by referencing Dragon Ball. Laughter, it roared like a bear but rolled around like Hyena. 'How the hell wasn't he out of breath!?' was one of the thoughts running through his mind.
The brunette, the center of attention just stared at the offending blonde whilst his left eye twitched. He had short spiky hair, with two short locks of hair behind his head, and light brown eyes.
"Shut your trap, little shit!"
Hyoudo Issei was not the type to take rumors to heart, instead took them with a pinch of salt. He truly didn't believe the infamous delinquent, Uzumaki Naruto, was actually a bad guy evidenced by when he saw the teenager gently tending to plants or feeding doves in the park or peacefully taking naps whilst basking in the sun. He just seemed like a normal guy who struggled with society's ethics and the like.
Issei had observed him from afar and noted the qualities of struggling NEET who was trying to return to society and thus Issei respected him for that. Issei wished to approach him truly, but his friends just wouldn't let him anywhere near "The Blood Fox". Rumor had it that, he took out a group of delinquents, who were provoked, on his own after he pissed on their bikes. To them, it seemed like he had fallen into their trap but it was in fact that fell into his. None of the boys left without blue eyes and bloody noses apparently and that served to increase his notoriety. Maybe him constantly antagonizing the Student Council didn't help at all.
To be fair to him, Issei once saw how they always troubled him like once when he exited a convenience store, with cups of what he thought was instant ramen. Everyone knew how much Uzumaki Naruto loved his ramen. It was to the point that his obsession with the noodly dish was compared to the perverted trio's obsession with the female body. Quite ridiculous indeed which was pretty strange as he was seen having other foods from time to time. People just paid attention to his ramen and didn't notice other things he liked.
Issei noticed that icy treats, particularly ice pops seemed to have emotional significance to him. It was weird watching a boy characterized as a monster become mellow as he consumed the frosty treat. Were the students wrong?
They disliked him so much that when people noticed he seemed to have affections for the great onee-Sama, Rias Gremory, the cops were called on him without any form of evidence. He felt bad for the guy. It was pretty funny when a rumor circulated the school that Rias Gremory had returned his affectionate and longing gazes with one of her own. It was treated like a nightmare and it died immediately. Everyone forgot about it, acting like it never happened. Issei pitied him.
Issei actually wanted to try to be friends with him one day. Well except this one apparently.
He saw that piece of filth resting on the lap of the great Onee-Sama, Rias Gremory, whilst being doted on by the school's mascot! Fucking bastard, average looking but getting the best girls! He swore he saw Akeno staring at him with lustful eyes.
Tch!
He did his best to pay attention as Rias went on to explain how everyone in the room was a devil except for Naruto. She then explained how most mythologies were real and specified their faction was under the Judeo-Christian mythos. He tried listening as she went on to explain something about a war with angels and falling angels?
"Issei-Kun, pay attention," chastised Rias, moving her fingers through the blonde's spiky hair.
"Sorry. Wait a minute, what's your relationship with that man?" Clarity increased each second showing that the rumors were true. "Fucking lucky bastard!"
"Oh him... Ignore him. I'm just his obligee, I'll get to that a little later," she giggled innocently, listening to Issei grind his teeth. "Is he really?" Issei turned to look at Kiba who merely turned to the wall then to Akeno who looked at the ceiling.
"How suspicious!"
"Suuurrrreeee," Issei drawled while narrowing his eyes. "Obligee or not, isn't that a bit much?"
"What silly imagination you have there Issei-Kun. Anyway, I'm gonna continue. Pay attention this time, kay?"
Issei nodded and listened to Rias explain more about the nature of their faction, evil pieces then moved on to explain about the Sacred Gear system. She then told him he had a Sacred Gear, almost making him shout in joy. His excitement was vivid, which was shown by how he immediately interrogated her on how he could activate such a power.
Which then led to this situation.
"BWUUUHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHA! OH MY GOODNESS, THIS KID THINKS HE CAN DO AN ENERGY WAVE! OH! HJIHDSZ#$WEJW" Naruto choked on his spit before resuming his laughter, clutching his stomach.
"Kid? I'm the same age as you bastard!" Issei frowned.
"Senpai, don't laugh so much, you are gonna choke," warned the white-haired petite girl with golden eyes. She had two long bangs going past her shoulders and several loose bangs going over her forehead, while the back had a short bob cut. She also wore black cat-shaped hair clips on both sides of her hair. She was dressed in the school's standard uniform.
She gently rubbed his heaving chest, contrary to how she treated him when he first entered the room. "How intimate! Don't tell me he is already ahead of me in my harem journey," Issei whined internally, watching the aloof girl worry over the boy on her master's lap. It seemed to me that it was more than a servant protecting their master's treasure.
"What makes you think you're worth competing with?" Issei imagined him say with a smug look on his face. He wanted nothing more than to charge at the guy and pummel him. There was no way he would lose right? He was just human he was a devil… Something told Issei that he would be mercilessly beaten down.
"Ignore him, Issei-Kun. Try again," he was met with a smile from the second onee-Sama. She was a beautiful young woman with a voluptuous figure, very long black hair, and violet eyes. Her hair was tied into a long ponytail with an orange ribbon that Issei suspected had to do with the bastard on Rias' lap.
"It is a well-known fact that Uzumaki Naruto loves orange and blue. It's even more known that Akeno-san likes violet, white and black. Why you!" Issei seethed uncontrollably.
"Of course... Kaaaaameee," he put his hands together and took a stance.
"HAAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHHAAAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAH!" He roared even louder, curling up even more. Koneko then moved her hand from his chest and when to rub his back.
"Shut your trap, you little shit!" He screamed with a tick mark appearing on his temple. Naruto stopped laughing and adopted a stoic look that was eerily similar to that of a doll. Issei shook his head, thinking it was his imagination, and shifted his attention back to his hands.
"Ka!"
"Pfft!"
Issei glared at Naruto.
"Sorry. Carry on."
"KAMEHAMEHA!" he roared with all his might causing a green light to erupt from the back of his left hand. The green light was then surrounded by a red light that extended down to his forearm. The lights disappeared revealing a red gauntlet with a green jewel and two golden spikes that manifested on his arm.
"HAHAHAAHHAAHA! WHEN I SAW THE LIGHTS I HAD HIGH HOPES BUT IT TURNED OUT TO BE A WIMPY-LOOKING GAUNTLET! OH GOODNESS! I AM FUCKING DYING! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" the roaring laughter could be heard once more. "IT'S AS DISAPPOINTING AS PETER GRILL! AHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Naruto you naughty boy," Rias chastised, smacking his forehead. "If you continue this behavior then I am going to have to let Issei touch my breasts and make you watch," she threatened, giving the blonde a teasing smile.
"Oh my!" giggled Akeno, getting excited for what was about to unfold in this drama. Koneko looked like she had swallowed something bitter. She didn't like where this was going.
"What really!" loudly exclaimed Issei, clutching his fist tightly, bearing stars in his eyes.
"Of course. This boy is still laughing even after I gave him a warning. Come here Issei, here a reward for activating your Sacred Gear," Rias stuck her chest whilst making sure Naruto didn't fall off her lap.
"I don't mind. I happen to like NTR after all. Go ahead Issei, have your treat. Your virgin hands are about graduate today!" Naruto cheered the boy on from his comfy seat. Koneko had a shocked look on her face when Naruto said that.
"What's this? Is my Kitty-chan not as innocent as she seems. Oh my," he teased the girl who covered her blushing face. "Shut up baka-senpai," she tried to rebuke him but ended up covering her face.
Issei didn't need any more encouragement and moved towards the redhead and her 'not boyfriend' with a confident march. "I'm about to do it! My first squeeze is gonna be Rias onee-sama," he made creepy motions with his hands, approaching the 'not couple', ignoring the withering glare filled with disgust coming from Koneko. Yes, he could feel it. Soft, jiggly heaven. It was right there. Almost there, just a few more steps.
"Wait. Something isn't right," Issei froze. He wasn't sick, that was for sure but something was stopping him, no warning him. Naruto had a warm smile and his face wasn't off in any way, his smile reached his eyes just fine but...
Issei's hands felt cold, and he felt shivers going down his spine. Despite feeling like he was cold, he was sweating and a strange fear welling up in him. He couldn't understand what in hell was wrong with him. He knew he was still the same height as he was earlier but somehow he felt like an ant. He felt... Small. Insignificant... Whilst at the same time feeling like a child who was forced to walk into a tiger's den to poke it with a stick, fully aware of how dangerous tigers are the consequences of disturbing.
Except a tiger didn't pop into his mind. An arctic fox bathed in crimson. Was that his head over there? It was! His entrails on its cute little head? What is going on? He wondered. As he tried to move closer he saw its tiny, cute little paws inching towards his exposed but still-beating heart as if holding it hostage.
Issei felt afraid. He felt like vomiting but his muscles were too afraid to even cause retroperistalsis.
Blood fox. Blood fox. Blood fox. Boobies. Issei's will strengthened. He had to march! "Move!" he commanded his body to no avail.
"What's wrong Issei-Kun?," Rias tilted her head to the side, pretending to not be aware of what was going on. "Yeah, Issei. What wrong, my guy? Two perfect melons are waiting for you right here," Naruto proceeded to poke said melons, moving his hands up and down causing them to jiggle. Issei would have normally had a nose bleed and rushed to action but he was too distracted and disturbed.
He just couldn't make heads or tails on what was happening with him.
"Oh, bro! Hurry up! You missing out! They soft yet firm at the same time. Almost jelly-like, allowing my fingers to sink in with ease yet resisting them. This feeling is perfect my guy!" Naruto drooled as the rest of his fingers moved up to cup Rias' boobs, squeezing, needing, and pulling.
The rest of the peerage except Akeno, who was also aware, looked confused and worried at Issei's behavior.
"You good, senpai?" Asked Koneko with worry in her voice, turning away from Naruto for the first time since she left her seat to dote on him.
Issei twitched. uncontrollably feeling mocked despite seeing how genuine Naruto seemed to be. The fox was wiggling its eye ridges like how a human would wiggle its eyebrows. Behind it was a gate that seemed to lead to heaven.
"M-M-Must touch m-m-massive g-g-gazonkas!" Issei fought back his intense, irrational fear and took a step forward. He regretted it immediately. The fox ran its claws through one of his arms, drawing more blood.
"Yeah, that's right! They massive. She's practically a cow!"
Naruto was sent to the floor for that statement. Koneko immediately rushed to his side and pulled him into an embrace.
"Senpai, don't say that. It isn't nice," Koneko stroked his hair affectionately.
"Ahhh! She dumped me! I love you Koneko! Flat is justice," cried Naruto.
He was sent flying to the wall, slowly slid down, and landed on the ground with a dry thud. Kiba immediately went to check on the 'human' and sighed in relief. No harm was done to him, fortunately.
As tears dramatically streamed down Naruto's face, he looked up to Kiba, "Why me?"
Kiba gave a wry smile as he helped his friend up. He was a handsome young man with short, blonde hair, blue eyes, and a mole underneath his left eye. He was dressed in the standard school uniform.
"I-I can't! It's impossible! If I do it, I'm gonna die," Issei wailed internally as he stopped trying.
"N-no thank you," he rejected with a dark cloud over his head.
"Oh my. I'm hurt," Rias feigned sadness before shrugging her shoulders.
"I never understood how Naruto does that. It's neither magic nor a sacred gear," Rias thought as she played with one of her bangs. She had found out about said ability when she "accidentally" reset his PS4, making him lose progress on most of his games, most notably Dark Souls 3. He was near the end. He just smiled warmly and said "mistakes happen," in a very convincing manner yet for some reason she felt great fear. He wouldn't talk to her for two weeks and she had to beg him and cry to convince him to talk to her again. She then made a note to never touch any of his games or consoles with the intent of resetting again. He punished her by forcing her to play the game and reach the halfway point without dying… Once. It took almost a year for her to be relieved of that punishment.
Rias expected it to be like the stereotypical anime relationship. She thought she was in control until that day. She found out, the pants were his and she was only warming them for him. He was the one really in control. She shivered. "That sly fox."
Akeno found this out when she stole all his ramen ingredients and replaced them with vegetables. He went ballistic on the girl, tied her up, and mercilessly zapped her numerous times with the lightning spell he had been trying to learn for the past 6 weeks with no success. She then made an erotic mess all over the floor whilst screaming "Yes Daddy!". After she cleaned her little... Mess... She felt a strange fear growing within her, it prevented her from doing her usual sensual business, sealing away her flirtiness or even getting close to him.
She had to grovel and cry to beg him to stop. She desperately wanted to be able to keep in proximity to him again. It was driving her crazy.
"Poor Issei, it's okay," Naruto went over and gently rubbed the crying boy's shoulder, comforting him.
"Shut up! That was you! This is your fault! I know you were the one that caused this. Makes sense cuz you are her boyfriend aren't you?" Issei threw one accusation after another, then proceeded to hurl all sorts of profanities that would make a sailor proud.
"Wha!? Me? Dunno what you talking about man, she's just my obligee," Naruto pretended not to notice the withering glare.
"Oh well, looks like I'm not wanted here." Naruto sighed sadly.
He moved to Kiba and gave him a fist bump, kissed Rias' cheek, ruffled Koneko's hair, and hugged Akeno before stumbling out the door in style, yelling "Later losers!". They all smiled warmly and waved at the former Yang Seal bearer.
"I hate that guy so much," Issei muttered dryly.
"It's okay Issei, once you get used to him, you'll find that he is a fantastic person," Kiba tried comforting.
"Shut it, pretty boy."
-With Naruto-
"Hmmm, kid's just like sensei," Naruto smiled as fond memories of Jiraiya rushed into his mind.
Naruto broke in a light jog, going over to his house to grab a shovel. Why? To dig of course. He entered the building, then exited with a shovel that had seen better days. He then moved to the more forested areas of the town. He moved to a specific spot and began digging around, hoping to find some bait.
Naruto was craving for some roasted fish and he was gonna get it! So the first thing he needed was bait which was what he came to the forest for. "I should check on the stuff I buried around here a while," Naruto ceased collecting worms and moved to a weird-looking tree and dug down near its roots revealing a small chest.
Naruto opened the chest and checked its contents which were crosses, rosaries, a bible, and vials of holy water. You may ask why Naruto had these items and the answer was simple. Defense. Ever since he had seen the Nuckelavee, which was supposed to be somewhere in Scottland or something, he prepared himself in case a demonic entity invaded his home. He wanted to die at the time but knew they wouldn't be able to kill him... But instead, leave a mess. Which he would have to clean up which was pretty a huge turnoff.
He got rid of everything for Rias' safety as she once wanted to watch him play on PC. Her foot nearly grazed the bible and mentioned that she felt unsettled for some reason and to his horror saw a light bruise on the back of her foot. Naruto's heart nearly jumped out of his chest and as soon as Rias left, he collected every single holy item in his possession and put it in a chest, and rushed to bury it somewhere which was this more forested part Kuoh.
Now, why would he constantly check on items he got rid of? Well there was one particular item that radiated a lot of holy power and it was [Redacted]
Naruto sighed in relief and returned the items to the chest. He looked at the bible and stopped. Something told him to bring it with him... Something told him he needed it.
"Hey something, that's rude," Naruto whined internally he took the book, and placed it in a leather bag to stop it from accidentally harming his pals.
Naruto then turned and walked away, with his destination being a pond.
Naruto didn't understand what the hell was with fishing. It was so relaxing and a pretty pleasant experience even if there was no catch. The peace he felt when fishing was like alcohol for a lot of people, it drowned away sadness. It was just nice to do. He once brought Rias with him and expected her to be bored out of her mind but she loved it and considered it a date.
Naruto didn't know what the hell she was talking about but went along with it. She may have been his girlfriend but he still wasn't used to dating. Questions like, "is everything we do together a date? Should I bring a list of all my insecurities so there aren't any secrets between us? What about a headband with sunflower seeds to absorb all my nervous sweat? Wait, aren't I shinobi who can hide the nonsense above?" Ran through his mind at the early stages of his relationship.
He still didn't understand to this day. Maybe it was because we were far away from technology and stuff and actually chilled with each other? Maybe. He didn't and won't ask.
He felt a tug on his line and he dramatized a struggle before pulling.
"It got away," he said dryly before shrugging.
He reapplied the bait and cast his line once more.
"Any luck there kid?" asked an unfamiliar, masculine voice.
"One got away," he sighed despondently as he focused on his line.
"Well, it happens sometimes," the owner chuckled as he cast his own line, sitting a few meters away from Naruto.
"Yeah. For some reason, I always feel like trying again even when the days real bad, you know?"
"Oh yeah! I know that very well," the man laughed softly.
"Name's Azazel, what yours kid?"
"Naruto," Naruto responded cheerfully to his companion. "Naruto Uzumaki," his companion sounded foreign so he introduced him in the manner common in the west.
"Nice to meet you Naruto."
"The pleasure's all mine," Naruto turned to the man next to him. He looked pretty tall, in his 20s, had an average build, black hair, golden bangs, and black goatee. He was dressed in clothes that made him indistinguishable from the crown.
"So Naruto."
"Hmm?"
He pulled and got a fish which proceeded to euthanize it with ikejime and place it in a cooler box.
"When'd you start living in Kuoh?" the man switched to English.
"About 2-3 years now, lived in the States in my childhood then moved to Germany and a few other European countries, then China moved Tokyo to live with my aunt after my parents died. She died to a gang unfortunately so I came here," Naruto explained, watching his bobber float on the water.
"Oh! My condolences."
"Thanks," Naruto gave a smile.
They had a conversation for a little while until...
"Hmm, looks this enough." Naruto stood up, looking that the fish in hand and placing it in the cooler box. "I'm expecting a friend at home later. See you around old man," the boy waved and Azazel waved back, giving a friendly smile.
"Sure kid. Have fun."
"Thanks," Naruto's distant voice echoed.
"What a strange human," the man chuckled softly before, focusing on his line.
It was nighttime already. Naruto had already cooked rice and left it in his rice cooker. He would cook the fish later. Right now, he felt like getting fresh air. Of course, he brought the scripture, after all, he needed it.
Naruto felt resistance to his being as he walked by a large abandoned building. He then saw a centaur-looking woman dragging a corpse into the building. "Hmm?" He moved past the barrier quietly, likely meant to keep humans away to prevent them from finding its hideout. Naruto had already taken to covering himself with dirt to best hide his scent as he skillfully and quietly climbed to the room and looked through cracks, watching the somewhat attractive woman consume the cadaver.
"Better report this to Rias, looks like she'll handle it just fine just like the others before it" he analyzed, scouting the creature. Stray devils tended to let their aura leak in waves to the point that normal humans like Naruto could feel it. (Naruto is normal in the sense that he also sealed his sensory powers).
Naruto took advantage of this to scout out these monsters to make sure that Rias' is safe. And speaking of Rias.
A familiar magic circle erupted from the floor and summoned Rias and her gang, Issei included.
Naruto watched Rias explain the Evil piece system in greater detail than she did before and the others battle the monster.
The monster swallowed Koneko.
"Hey! Don't touch my cat," Naruto's eye twitched in annoyance, feeling like jumped down and beating down the monster. He then decided quietly to get down and join them from the door the monster left open because Rias' attention was away from the monster, endangering her to a certain degree. Naruto quietly walked up to them and stood next to Rias. He went unnoticed.
"Hey watch out," Naruto said in a relaxed voice, pulling Rias' into his chest. A glob of acid went past where she was standing, surprising Issei.
The peerage and Rias were surprised at Naruto's appearance.
"Hey lizard breath, pay attention to the battle. Your master could have been harmed," Naruto criticized harshly. "Y-yes." Issei immediately turned to the battle. "He learns fast." Naruto nodded in satisfaction.
"Naruto!? It's dangerous, what are you doing here?" she all but screamed at her boyfriend. She had an alarmed and horrified expression on her face as she made sure her eyes weren't deceiving her.
"Your hellish booty called me," he rubbed her ass causing Rias to rub her temples.
"It's him alright," she held in the urge to scream. The simple mission had become a complex situation, well at least in her eyes. Naruto was but a simple fragile human, and a simple attack could end his life. Koneko and Akeno's eyes shot at him briefly before widening but were forced to look back at the monster as it was pressuring them.
"Go home!" she paused and thought of the monster going after him or it having some kind of mechanism that prevented prey from leaving. "No, make sure you don't leave my side." Her focus and guard heightened to the extremes.
"I sssmell foood. Oh, a cuuute little human." the creature hissed as it fended off Kiba and Koneko. Akeno was close by, watching it.
"I smell you too. Dude you stink, when was the last time you took a bath?"
"You little shit! I'll kill you," it hissed in anger as it struggled against Koneko and Kiba.
"Naruto, please don't provoke the stray," Rias sighed but she went ignored.
"Don't say stuff like that. Threatening people. Like seriously, the hell's the matter with you. You should get a bible... You really need it," Naruto emphasized the 'really' as he talked to the struggling stray. The thing managed to escape causing Akeno to widen her eyes, she prepared magic circles but it was too late, it was already on Naruto and Rias.
"Oh goodness. You need it that bad? Kay, here, I got you. I'm a great guy aren't I," Naruto casually yeeted the scripture into its maw.
It roared in pain, keeling over and scratching at its throat. The others were visibly surprised by the turn-in events.
"Naruto!?" Rias looked at her boyfriend sternly. "What?" he pretended not to have a bible in his possession.
"Bible!"
"Oh that. Don't worry about it, it's a one-time thing I swear."
She grabbed his ear and pulled... Hard.
Not hard enough apparently. His head jerked but he didn't display any form of discomfort.
"Ara ara, not only do you threaten to harm my master. but you actually went with it and attack him? Naughty, naughty, naughty," Akeno's voice grew colder whilst somehow maintaining her coy smile as lightning sparked to life.
"Get your loyalties straight Akeno," Rias suddenly had a headache, she reached to her forehead to massage it.
"Uwaah! Onee-sama is a sadist!"
Rias sighed.
A little dialogue occurred and Rias proceeded to annihilate the monster with her power of destruction, intriguing Naruto.
"I'm so glad I forced u to wear a longer skirt and tights."
"Shut up."
Rias sighed in frustration, then went to check for traps then back.
"Issei, take this one home and make sure he gets to bed. Tie him down and sing him a lullaby if you have to."
"Hey! Why?"
"You aren't a devil, nor are you affiliated with my house so I can't teleport you home. Urgh! I am going to bed," Rias explained, rubbing her eyes, displaying irritation at her boyfriend's lack of sense of danger.
"Yes ma'am! Come on you bastard, you ain't getting away from me," Issei arrested Naruto's arm causing the blonde to raise an eyebrow.
"Naruto-san please be more mindful of where you go from now on."
"Senpai, you idiot. Don't leave me for a weird reason like being doused in boob acid… I'll laugh at you."
"Master, I won't always be there for you. Please show more caution. You aren't a child anymore!"
3 worried voices called out and chastised.
Naruto looked away from them.
"Fuck you! I'm not your baby," he pouted. "Turn me into a devil now Rias?"
"Denied."
"Issei, it's really important no one finds out about my relationship with him. He is just a human and what other devils would do just to get to me…" she paused. "Please. I beg you," she asked tearfully.
"I will. I swear on my parents' good names."
Rias nodded in satisfaction at Issei's statement. "Good. I trust you Issei. That idiot is really important to me," Rias confirmed her intimacy with the blond once more. She looked like she was about to fall over from anxiety.
A magic circle appeared under her. Akeno, Kiba, and Koneko waved goodbye as they were teleported away.
"Damn it! Was gonna ask her to come to dine with me," he whined, "Maybe coming here was a bad idea after all."
"You don't say," Issei sighed.
"So Mr. Harem King, wanna have dinner at my house? I got real stuff there. Was thinking of watching the sequel of Spoiled Rich Girls." Issei's eyes went wide at the last part.
Click!
"Hello? Mom? I think I am going to come home a little later tonight. I got a classmate to help with my Maths. No, it's neither Motohama nor Matsuda. Got it, mom, thanks."
(Rias never slept with Issei to heal him in this verse. It was her familiar in human form)
"Lead the way Naru!"
"Naru?"
"Oh umm. Sorry that was rude."
"No. No. I don't mind, it's just different from how you were acting before," Naruto teased as he walked down the street toward his apartment. "Wha? Oh. It's just that, I have never received attention from girls, and seeing you with the prettiest girl in school just makes me... I can't explain it but to simplify, I'm jealous."
"Woah! My opinion of you went up. You seem pretty honest," Naruto laughed, seeing more similarities between the old fart and the kid. Both were quite honest with themselves and their desires.
"Tell me Issei, why do you want a harem so much? Sure it can't be because you are a virgin and stuff, is it?" question the former hero of the Shinobi world.
"Hey! So you have done the deed with Buchou!"
"Nope. Wasn't with her, it was with a deceased lover of mine," Naruto's smile gained a hint of sadness to it. "Stupid Hinata," he thought in a prideful manner, thinking of the amazing girl who had fought and sacrificed a lot for him. A princess but actively served him. She was weird like that but he couldn't deny it. He loved her. When she perished at the hands of Pain, his heart shattered, causing him to isolate then subjugate himself to brutal training to become even stronger.
His pride originated from the fact that Hinata worked day in and day out to the point that she gained power most Hyuugas could only dream off. He didn't give a fuck about her being a woman and all, all he appreciated was the chance to fight alongside such a great, heroic, and gallant warrior that grew from a feeble and shy girl. He felt lucky that she loved him unconditionally and he loved her too.
Even when his mental state deteriorated because of his duties and past experiences, and visited brothels, she forgave him. She was open and supportive of him and even welcomed Ino into their little family as a sister when he and Ino confessed that they had a relationship. His mental state eventually improved after the war but it was far too late. She was already dead and he grieved causing him to force Sasuke to come train with him as the Uchiha was the only one capable of challenging him, injuring him, and killing him.
His brother made sure to help him in every way he could during their training. Even doing things that would be considered gay, such as holding him in his arms as he sobbed uncontrollably. Naruto loved Sasuke. He didn't regret not giving up on him, after all, brothers always came back together even after the shittiest of arguments, right?
When he and Sasuke returned to the ninja world and found out that Ino, had lost her life to Kaguya they flipped and engaged her aggressively, destroying half of The Land of Lightning. Well, that mostly Naruto before Sasuke could join in.
Ever since then... Ever since he came to this world and lost Sasuke, he thought about... Everything. His life. His career... He realized he didn't even know he was human. This was another one of the contributing factors that led to him sealing his powers aside from it being a punishment.
"You okay man?" Issei moved to wrap his arm around the crying blonde.
"I'm sorry," he quickly wiped his tears.
"I can kinda understand how it feels..." Issei started quietly and awkwardly.
"My gramps passed on," he continued. "And…"
"Like... My mom miscarried too and... I always feel like my family is growing smaller... Way too small... Like I am gonna choke... And it's clearly affecting my pops and ma. If my parents were apart on business or didn't have me, they would have broke. Their relationship saved them you see… And you know, I want to restore that as well. Even now they are struggling so lots of grandkids to help them cope could help… And I'm afraid of being lonely you know? I'm already kind of a social outcast and don't have many friends. I am lustful sure but... The reason I want a harem I suppose... Is to just have a bigger family you know? It's confusing."
Naruto smiled as they crossed the road. What Issei had said had a lot of gaps and that was understandable, after all he could relate to the red dragon emperor. As Pain explained, the only way for someone to understand another person was going through similar pain. He was devastated by Hinata's death but Nagato made him realize that his people did exactly the same thing he did to him and his people, except in some cases even worse. He didn't forgive Nagato but his training was able suppress his rushing emotions and find a conclusion with Nagato. He somehow found brotherhood in the fact that they both had the same master and like that they became friends somehow.
Thats why a lot of people bark about sympathy. It can make you see reason even in the least likely of situations.
Feeling can't be just be explained logically, they could only be felt and because of that Naruto perfectly understood what Issei was trying to communicate. He appreciated that Issei went against the norms for happiness. He is the same in some ways. In some realities, he would never know what it's like to lose a sibling but in this one he knew.
Issei didn't specify when miscarries happened but either way, the pain was similar in some ways but different. If they happened before his birth then the sense of responsibility must weigh him down. If it happened after then he would feel like a curse and ask "why was it me?"
Naruto could under Issei, fully and truly, especially since he was an orphan, one that contained the Demon Fox. The loneliness nearly crushed him and turned him into an actual monster. He was a little concerned about how Issei would treat his ladies but he trusted the kid. He gave warnings either way.
"Well that's noble of you but make sure you love them all kay? And make sure they all-in for the harem idea. You will face a lot of problems but if you believe this is the right way then go for it and work hard. Use this desire to hone yourself, improve and become someone they can rely on. Also, take care as to not treat them like objects, and treating them all equally is impossible so don't stress too much kay? Days are never the same, your favourite will keep changing, that's how emotions are," Naruto spoke from experience with Hinata and Ino.
Issei grinned at the blonde, "Fucking bastard, who do you think you are?"
"Oh, you know… The guy with a harem," Naruto snorted in amusement, puffing his chest proudly.
"Whhaaaa? Really?"
"Nope." Issei's face vaulted, watching Naruto's chest deflate.
"But the direction things are going, it may happen. I am fully prepared to take the next step with them but only with Rias' approval," he shrugged, thinking about his relationships with Akeno and Koneko changed over the past year.
"I see. You are a pretty cool dude Naru."
"Yeah I know right? Bitches love me."
"Better not let the 'bitches' hear you say that you piece of shit."
They both burst out laughing before a comfortable silence descended upon them.
"Partner!"
"Huh?" Issei jumped in surprise, Naruto looked at the boy curiously and the boy merely scratched his head sheepishly.
"Think. I can hear your thoughts. I am the entity within your sacred gear. I'll explain later. You have to get away from that human! Something is very off about him!" the alarmed voice continued, trying to dissuade Issei from joining Naruto. Issei looked around, confirming that the voice really was inside his head.
"What do you mean, 'off'?"
"His presence is weird. Ahhh. My time has run out. Be wary of him," It warned before disappearing once more.
"You okay dude? You look like you were having a conversation with someone."
"Uhhh..." Issei contemplated whether he should tell Naruto or not.
"Some voice in my head was telling me you are weird. It spoke as if you were some Mafia boss or something?"
"Hmm? That's weird," Naruto said, opening his door and began setting the table and went into his room to extract his hidden treasures from his room.
And so they bonded over porn whilst having rice, fish, and soy sauce. Nothing special.
-After The Movie-
"Damn."
"Damn indeed," Naruto responded, moving his hand away from his face revealing slightly flushed cheeks and tissues stuffed into his nose. Issei was just the same, except, he was drooling like crazy.
"Tell me my good man, boobs or ass."
"Ass," Naruto responded without paused shocking Issei.
"Ass!? Your girl has... I mean... I feel like I'm violating the bro code but her gazonkas man!"
"I know right? They awesome but they serve to distract you from the real prize behind," Naruto responded in a lecherous manner. "A wise man once said, boobs can be faked but a good ass never lies," he continued causing Issei's jaw to drop.
"But plastic?"
"It's not plastic you idiot. They don't add plastic to your stuff at all. Those are perfectly functioning tissues and muscles bruh. Plastic is just Greek for mold if I'm not mistaken."
"It's plastickos... Oh, I see, so that's where the word came from," Issei nodded in understand, using his devil power to confirm.
"But I still love boobies!"
"That's cool. Boobs and ass are two halves that make women more fantastic."
"Agreed," Issei nodded as he stood up and made for the door.
"I'm just gonna tell pres I put you to sleep. Don't stay up late and get me in trouble. See you tomorrow," the door closed.
"Ciao." Naruto waved at the closed door before moving to lock it.
"Hmm. I was noticed. What's off about me, I wonder?" Naruto thought, cleaned and washed the dishes, dried his hands and carefully took his treasure out of the DVD, and hid it away once more.
Naruto moved to his desk and pulled out some paper from a drawer and began writing seals. "Come to think of it... Didn't Rias tell me the two dragons could harm souls? Is it possible could also see them? Or what remains of them?" Naruto stared at the diamond-shaped mark on his left hand. "Maybe the dragon didn't see me but instead saw what remains of Toneri," he frowned remembering the Otsutsuki placing the mark on him in an attempt to save himself.
"But then... Why didn't Kaguya place her mark on either of us," Naruto stopped working on the seal, just went to bed? There was no point in trying to hide even more. It was inevitable, he was going to be exposed to the supernatural soon. After all his girlfriend had invited heaps of trouble by reincarnating the Red Dragon Emperor. He had a feeling the white one was gonna be a pain in the ass.
"That silly girl," he yawned before drifting off to the land of dreams.
-The Next Day-
The was uneventful. Like most days, he didn't go see the Occult Research Club in order to preserve his secret. Dodged the Student Council. They added a new kid called Saji to their merry group but he sucked even more than they did at catching him.
Naruto dismissed himself from school early, as the boredom he felt in Mathematics was unbearable. Just learning what he already knew like what the fuck? He ain't gonna sit through that. The academy taught its students all sorts of things, maths included so he wasn't even going to try.
Naruto walked into a Ramen stand had his feel and headed home. Maybe a few solo vs squad games then perhaps upload a video. He also thought of creating merchandise and starting a large business from YouTube from there. He didn't spend much money on anything these days. He found out that his rent was being paid for by someone, which he suspected to be a certain red-haired devil. That girl was going to force a mansion onto him, he swore.
He wanted to be someone both he and his girl could be proud of so he started making plans to work extra hard, double, triple the effort. He didn't know how far her pockets went but he would rival her.
Sadly for him... Yes... Sadly for him... He'll find out soon.
"I feel like less of a man all of a sudden," his face gained a tired look. He walked to a bench by the fountain and laid down and watched the clouds before taking a nap. What he didn't know was, that was the bench Issei died next to.
-Later-
Naruto couldn't believe his eyes. A devil near a church! No, Issei walking with a girl! There was no way that was happening. He couldn't believe it! He knew the boy had potential but he didn't expect him to be that quick. "Holy shit, dude!" Naruto could feel pride in his heart.
"Wait. If Rias finds out about this... Something's off about that church. Could that be the Fallen Angel base?"
Naruto narrowed his eyes, using his enhanced vision to watch the girl enter the church. He saw a glimpse of what seemed to be a black feather.
His hair cast a shadow over his eyes. "I might have to step if this goes out of control."
He no idea how strong the Fallen Angels were but he was still worried for Rias and the others. They may have had experience fighting strays but their intelligence was consumed by their power. The previous night was not the only time Naruto watched Rias and her group fight.
He had seen them dozens of times and had a good grasp of their weaknesses, one of which was actually fighting things that could actually kill them.
Kiba sacrificed too much strength for speed and tended to overthink as he swung his blades. Koneko was Kiba but inverted and also refused to take advantage of her nekoshou powers. She also tended to be too direct with her approach to combat showing that she was over-reliant on her rook status.
Naruto didn't know how to scale Rias and Akeno because of his inexperience with magic. Actually, he was pretty decent (Nowhere near Akeno though) but he didn't know how strong users of magic could be so he couldn't scale them properly. His thought of being decent crumbled instantly.
He just decided they were pretty good. Good enough to defeat the previous two mention. That brought the question of who was stronger between the two and the answer was very clear to Naruto. It was Akeno. Pure and simple. While she was just like Koneko except he didn't know what she was hiding about herself. Ignoring that, he could see that Akeno's wizardry rivaled Rias' but that's just where the comparison ended.
Rias had great magic but her close-range skills were so pitiful that when scaled to her magic it was worrying. Akeno on the other hand was not only a powerful sorceress, she was nimble, strong, and had experience with martial arts. He had seen her practicing with a naginata once and she was... Quite good actually and that was by Shinobi standards. She had technique but lack the physical capabilities to make her a true threat.
It hurt him to think this, but Rias was pathetic. All she had were her genes. She hardly if ever trained. After they started dating, he made note of how much time she spent online going through anime-related items and watching anime, and reading manga.
It was painful for him which is why he pretended to be chuuni for a while and got her to practice swords with him. It made him happy to see her applying what she learned in one of her battles but it wasn't enough. He knew it. He knew it very well. His heart felt heavy as he looked at the sky, swearing to train the group in the event that he is revealed. If they still accept him that is. Even if they don't, the last 2 years were something that were really special to him so they had his protection, whether they liked it or not.
The ones she will be fighting are likely hundreds of years old, smart, and are highly experienced. Evident by how they managed to sneak under her nose for over a year but not his. He may no longer be a sensor but the training drilled into him as a child emerged once more. He noticed the slightest of changes and moved to investigate, track and record.
It took him a while as he had his ninja powers sealed away but he was able to complete the mission. He had finally gathered enough evidence to make a claim. He then passed it off to Rias as "I saw some weird dude with wings. Not like yours. More like a chicken," he presented evidence with items like feathers.
Naruto shook it off for now and ran to catch up with Issei, to accost him to having a bowl of Ramen with him.
Some time had passed since the events earlier and Naruto stared at his steaming noodles.
"Issei."
"Yeah?"
"Acting on your feelings is perfectly okay but please... Please be careful and take care to think before you jump."
Issei shifted under his stool uncomfortably at the sudden change in tone.
"Understood," Issei responded with conviction, despite not knowing what had brought this on.