Chapter 17: The Comedic Twosome

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Danni stood in the middle of what appeared to be a desert utterly confused and, for once, rather warm. The ground with lit up by the amazingly clear sky above her and she looked upwards and appreciated the spectacular view for a few moments. The jumping was incredibly jarring, and she had to wonder if she would ever get used to it. However, she hoped she never got used to seeing such beauty as the sky above her. There was no way she would have seen anything like it back home, where the light pollution was everywhere.

She felt tears prickle her eyes and decided to scan the area for anything she could possibly recognise before she thought too much on it. In the not-too-far distance she spotted a small campsite being illuminated by a small fire. With no other alternative, she headed towards it slowly, avoiding the sparse greenery easily.

"Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" she asked the man sat next to it and he turned to look at her, surprised for a moment before a smirk appeared on his face as he looked her up and down appreciatively.

"Just where you should be. With me," he told her in a painfully British accent, scooting over and patting the stool suggestively.

Danni shook her head. "No," she told him simply. "Who are you?"

He held a hand to his chest, exaggerating the hurt he apparently felt. "I'm insulted you don't remember me, Danielle."

"You've met me before?"

Before he had time to answer the Doctor suddenly ran up to them, grinning happily as he spotted her. He was his Eleventh self, which was nice but it didn't stop her flinching back slightly as she suddenly expected him to shout at her again.

Instead, he grabbed her and pulled her into a tight hug, "Danni-Girl!" he exclaimed before tilting her head and kissing her deeply. She froze, completely stunned and unable to response at the sudden attack. He let her go with a smirk and sat next to the man. She blushed profoundly, very glad that it was dark and no one could see her.

"More stew?" he asked as he pulled her down onto his lap. She sat there, perched on his knees, completely and utterly flabbergasted. What the hell was going on?

"Where have you been, man?!" the man exclaimed. "Seven months! You were popping out for some liquorice! I had two very disappointed dancers on my hands! Not that I couldn't manage."

The Doctor rolled his eyes then leant closer to him. "Riddell," he started and Danni gasped happily. She should have recognised him, but now she knew his name it was so obvious where she was.

"Riddell?" She turned to the Doctor. "Does that mean Neffy's in the TARDIS?" He nodded and she clapped. "Awesome!"

He pecked her on the cheek. "You know, you're adorable when you blush," he whispered and she flushed darker and he chuckled. "You're just becoming cuter and cuter."

It was the strangest feeling, and one she really needed to stop feeling until she had time to process why the hell he was flirting and touching her if he hated her so much just moments ago. Still, she didn't want to bring his anger back on her so she slipped off his lap in an attempt to get him back on track. "Stop it. Remember, missiles."

He jolted slightly, as if he had been so thoroughly distracted by her that he had completely forgotten why he was there. He also didn't question how she knew about the missiles, which just added more questions to her very rapidly growing pile. "Riddell, listen, I've found...well." He motioned with his hands as he tried to figure out what to say. "Something."

"No, no, no, no, no, no. I shan't fall for that again," Riddell protested, taking a bite of his strew. The two men regarded each other for a moment until Riddell couldn't resist anymore. "What is it?"

"I've no idea. Do you want to find out?"

~0~0~0~

Brian Williams stood on a ladder in his son's living room, frowning thoughtfully as he took the lightbulb from the fitting the ceiling. His son, Rory, held the ladder steady on one side as he shook the bulb next to his ear then handed it down to him.

"I think it's the fitting," he told his son.

"Dad, it's not the fitting, it just needs a new bulb," Rory insisted.

"You're wobbling the ladder."

Rory moved back, holding his hands up. "I'm not!"

"I don't want another loft incident."

Rory looked offended as Amy popped her head from around the other side of the ladder. "How's my side, Brian?" she asked and he looked down at her, a smile on his face.

"Perfect as ever, Amy."

"Thank you, Brian!" She looked at Rory, a smug smirk on her face as he silently mocked what she had been saying.

"I don't know what he said to you to make you marry him, but he's a lucky man." A large gust of wind began blowing inside the room, knocking paper everywhere as the whirring of the TARDIS faintly filled the room. Rory shook his head as he leant towards his wife.

"Not here! Not now!" he pleaded quietly.

"Did you leave the back door open?" Brian asked, oblivious to what the wind actually meant.

"What is he doing?!" Rory whispered as Amy rolled her eyes angrily.

"I'm going to kill him!" she exclaimed as the TARDIS began to materialise around them.

"Hello! You weren't busy, were you?" the Doctor asked as he became solid, running around the controls and not paying attention to them. "Well, even if you were, it wasn't as interesting as this probably is. Didn't want you to miss it. Now, just a quick hop."

Brian stared, utterly bewildered as Danni walked up to them. "I am sorry, I did try and get him to ring first but he keeps kissing me," she whispered to Amy, sounding very bewildered. "And it was very distracting."

"That's not an excuse," she protested. "He always kisses you."

"He does?!"

Amy nodded. "You two are always kissing. It gets quite embarrassing."

"We do?!"

Amy looked her up and down, very confused by her confusion. The Doctor and Danni had always been incredibly affectionate, in fact it just got worse the older the Doctor got.

Her mouth fell open in a 'o' of realisation. "But you don't, do you? You're still an early Danni, aren't you?" Danni nodded. "Then why was it distracting?" Danni blushed and Amy laughed. "You like you, don't you?" Danni kept blushing and held her hands up to her cheeks, feeling the heat.

"Stop it! One minute he's shouting at me, the next he's kissing me! I've been like a tomato for the last ten minutes! I think he knows I've never kissed him before, so he keeps doing it!"

Amy rubbed her hands together, so amused. "Aww, young love."

Danni groaned and held her head in her hands. "Please stop it," she begged as Rory tore his attention from father for a moment.

"What's happened?"

Amy shot Danni a faux dreamy look. "Danni just kissed the Doctor for the very first time," she told him in an airy voice and Danni shook her head, not looking at either of them.

"Please stop it."

Amy laughed and put her arm over her shoulder, taking pity on her. "Okay, I'll stop it for now," she promised. "But not for long."

"Everybody grab a torch!" the Doctor told them, motioning to the open hatch on the console. The Doctor headed out first as Brian dropped the lightbulb he was still holding. Rory gently coaxed his father down as Amy grabbed them all a torch, handing him one. They stepped out after Riddell and Nefertiti, shining the lights on the area cautiously.

"Spiders," the Doctor stated as he examined a web in the corner of the room. "Don't normally get spiders in space." Brian turned to see the small exterior of the room they had just been in.

"What the...?" he exclaimed in shock, which finally pulled the Doctor's attention to him.

"Don't move!" he demanded before striding over to Brian, grabbing Danni and pushing her behind him. He shined his torch directly into the man's face. "D'you really think I'm that stupid I wouldn't notice? How did you get aboard? Transmat? Who sent you?"

Rory walked over to him. "Doctor…" He cleared his throat. "That's my dad."

The Doctor blinked at Brian, calming down after this piece of news, then turned to Rory. "Well, frankly, that's outrageous."

"What?"

"You think you can bring your dad along without asking? I'm not a taxi service, you know!"

"You materialised around us!" Rory exclaimed.

"I told you to ring ahead," Danni added in a sing-song voice.

"Oh, well," He turned to look at Danni. She grinned sweetly at him and he couldn't help but return it. Her happiness was just contagious. "That's fine then, my mistake." He turned back to Brian. "Hello, Brian, how are you?" He shook the man's hand. "Nice to meet you. Welcome, welcome!" He spun around slowly. "This is the gang. I've got a gang – yes!" He grabbed Danni's hand and pulled her up against him. "It's nice to have a gang, although I never mind when it's just you and me." He kissed her quickly, and she blushed again. He pulled away with a smug smirk and winked at her, taking her hand. "Come on then, everyone!"

He began walking away, taking Danni with him who was still perplexed at his behaviour. Amy turned to Rory. "Tell him something, quick," she instructed, motioning her head at Brian before jogging slightly to catch up with the Doctor and Danni.

"Yes, thank you!" Rory shouted after her.

"All right, where are we, and what is that noise? And hello! Ten months!" she rattled off in quick succession.

"Orbiting Earth - well, I say orbiting, more like pre-crashing on a spaceship - don't know, and hello, Pond." The Doctor rattled off, pulling her into hug with his free arm. "Ten months, time flies." He pulled away and continued on. "Never really understood that phrase." He spun on the spot and shined his torch on the two people following them. "This is Neffy, this is Riddell. They're with us."

"With you? They're with you, are they the new us? Is that why we haven't seen you?" she interrogated and the Doctor shook his head.

"No, they're just people. They're not Ponds! I thought we might need a gang, not really had a gang before, it's new." He shone his torch into Amy's face, causing her to squint. "Like Danni."

Danni jabbed him with her finger. "I knew you knew I hadn't been here long!" she exclaimed and he shrugged.

"What can I say, I can tell."

"Is that why you keep kissing me? To confuse me? Are you playing some elaborate joke on me?" she asked, her eyes narrowing suspiciously. "Did I sometime in your past tell you I fancied you back home and now you're taking the piss?"

He shook his head and cupped her cheek. "No, I just really like kissing you." He placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "Your lips are absolutely delightful," he murmured before kissing her again, then stepping away as if nothing happened, leaving her slack-jawed and Amy trying to conceal a giggle. It was always funny to see Danni so out of her depth, most of the time she knew exactly what was going on and was always confident but sometimes she would have absolutely no idea and it was always better when she knew more than the time-jumping girl. Their attention was pulled from the argument as the sound of grinding gears came from behind a door in a wall, lights on either side coming on incrementally indicating a lift coming down to their level.

"It's coming down," the Doctor stated lowly as Nefertiti, Riddell, Brian and Rory joined them.

"What is it?" Riddell asked.

"No idea."

"You know that movie, Snakes on a Plane?" Danni asked Amy, who nodded as the doors opened slowly, blinding them with a bright light. "Well, rather than Plane, think spaceship. And instead of snakes..." She trailed off as the two large creatures became visible in the light.

"Not possible!" Brian stated firmly and the Doctor opened his mouth a couple of times, not really knowing what to say.

"Run!" he settled on and the others began running away, Amy stopping as she saw Danni and the Doctor looking into the lift.

"Doctor! Danni!" Amy cried urgently, trying to get their attention.

"I know!" the Doctor replied joyfully.

"Dinosaurs!" Danni added, staring at the two armoured dinosaurs in delight.

"On a spaceship!" the Doctor cheered. Amy ran forward and grabbed his arm, pulling him and Danni away as the two beasts charged out. They quickly caught up with the rest of the group, Nefertiti leading the way, Brian, Rory and Riddell slightly behind.

"In here!" Nefertiti shouted, indicating to a small niche to the side. The Doctor slid across the dust-covered floor but Danni managed to pull him in just as the dinosaurs stomped up the corridor, pausing just outside their hiding place. Riddell pulled out a knife from his jacket pocket, flipping it in his hand once before grasping it tightly.

"I could take one of them, short blow, up into the throat," he whispered, eying the animals eagerly. Danni reached across and firmly pushed his wrist down.

"Or not," dhe whispered.

"We've just found dinosaurs, in space. We need to preserve them," the Doctor continued, eager to stop his overly blood thirsty friend.

"And who's going to preserve us?" Riddell countered. Amy shushed them and they all turned to watch the dinosaurs as they continued down the corridor, lazily swinging their tails and destroying the scenery around them. The Doctor shushed them again as he quietly crept back into the corridor, pushing Danni into Amy to stop her following until he deemed it safe and motioned them all out.

"OK, so, how? And whose ship?" Rory asked, counting off the questions on his fingers.

"There's so much to discover. Think how much wiser we'll be by the end of all this," the Doctor replied.

"Which means he has no idea," Danni translated and the Doctor shot her a mock-offended look.

"And you do?" he asked and she nodded.

"Yes, actually. But I'm not supposed to tell you," she reminded him. "Anyway, where'd the fun be if I did?"

"Sorry. Sorry," Brian interrupted. "Are you saying dinosaurs are flying a spaceship?"

The Doctor turned to the father, exasperated. "Brian, please! That would be ridiculous. They're probably just passengers. Did I mention missiles?"

"Missiles?!" Brian exclaimed. Rory and the Doctor both shushed him while Danni smiled sympathetically.

"Don't worry about it Mr Williams. The missiles as very secondary to the dinosaurs. I wouldn't pay them much thought," she reassured him. She'd always like Brian Williams, and his sandwich while sitting in the doorway of the TARDIS. Who would have thought she was actually going to meet him?

"Anyway, six hours is a lifetime..." the Doctor added, making the situation slightly worse. He nudged Brian, grinning like he'd told a joke. "Not literally a lifetime, that's what we're trying to avoid. And we're all really clever!" Something caught his eye and he shone his torch into another room. "Let's see what we can find out. Come on."

They walked purposefully into the room and up to the far wall, where the Doctor cleared some cobwebs off a panel. Rory and Brian stood either side of them and the Doctor pulled face and wiped a handful of webs onto Brian. "Eugh!" He grimaced and Danni smacked him lightly on the arm.

"Stop being so rude!" she scolded him before reaching up and brushing the webs off of the other man.

Amy spotted a rather large claw mark on the metal wall, and the thought of what could have made her concerned her enough to turn to her childhood friend. "How many dinosaurs do you think are on here?"

The Doctor, however, was too interested in the new technology he had found and ignored her. He used the sonic to turn the screen on, bringing up green and black writing and imagery. "Oh, well done, whoever you are," he praised. "Looking for engines." The computer listened to his command and brought up a new screen, detailing the engines of the ship. "Thank you, computer."

"It looks so retro," Danni commented. "Which makes sense, considering the dinosaurs. To them, this is practically cutting edge."

"Nothing wrong with a bit of retro," the Doctor retorted.

"Like K-9?" she shot back and he nodded, looking delighted that she knew his metal best friend.#

"Exactly like K-9," he confirmed before getting back to what was on the screen. "Look at that, different sections have different engines," he explained, dragging his finger of the screen until he reached a point he vaguely recognised. "But these look like the primary clusters." He frowned to himself. "Where are we now, computer? We need to get down to those engines."

Danni reached out, grabbing his arm as she knew what was going to happen next and she still felt the safest being with the Doctor, despite his terrible attitude when he was Ten. The moment the Doctor jabbed the screen where the engines were, he, Danni, Rory and Brian where all teleported away. The beach they landed on looked particularly overcast, with the waves being rather loud as the hit the shore.

The Doctor, obviously, hadn't been expecting to transport away and spun on the spot in shock at the suddenly displacement. He shrugged Danni off, only to grab her hand in a vice-like grip that did surprise her.

"What?" Rory exclaimed, more angry at something else happening rather than surprised.

"We're outside. We're on a beach," Brian stated, bewildered.

Danni leant in a little closer to the Doctor. "It was a teleport," she whispered lowly the Doctor stomped his feet.

"Oh, I hate teleports. Must have activated on my voice," he moaned and Brian turned to the Doctor.

"Ah, yes, well, thank you, Arthur C Clarke! Teleport, obviously, I mean, we're on a spaceship, with dinosaurs, why wouldn't there be a teleport? In fact why don't we just teleport now?!" he ranted before storming off, running his hands through his hair in frustration.

"Is he all right?" the Doctor asked Rory.

"He hates travelling," Rory explained. "Makes him anxious. He only goes to the paper shop and golf."

"What did you bring him for?"

Rory glared at him. "I didn't! Why can't you just phone ahead, like any normal person?" he snapped as Brian walked back over.

"Somebody tell me where we are, now!" he demanded and the Doctor stuck his tongue out, holding it there for a moment before nodding.

"Well, it's not Earth. Doesn't taste right, too metallic," the Doctor replied as a bird screeched overhead.

"Is that a kestrel?" Brian asked and the Doctor looked at it before turning and grinning at him.

"I do hope so."

"I'd say we're still on the ship," Danni told the Doctor.

"What makes you say that?"

She motioned down to the ground, where Rory was feeling the sand. "The ground's humming, it tastes too metallic. I bet if you dug downwards you'd hit a metal floor."

Rory stood back up. "She's right. The beach is humming."

The Doctor crouched down, feeling the ground for himself, still not letting go of Danni's hand. "Oh, yes!" He stood up and turned to the men, a slightly cross look on his face. "Right, well, you heard the girl, don't just stand there, you two, dig!" He wiped the sand off his hand on his trousers. "We're going to look at rocks. Love a rock."

The pair began to walk off as Rory stared after them incredulously. "Dig with what?" He shouted and the Doctor held up is hand, telling Rory he had no idea as Brian pulled a collapsible trowel from his pocket, displayed it to Rory proudly and set to work digging.

"His dad carries a trowel. You never know when you need a trowel, apparently," Danni whispered to the Doctor.

"He does seem like a practical man. Maybe that's where Rory gets it from," he replied.

"Nah, that's just cause one of you has to be sensible, and it's never going to be you," she teased.

"Put it on your Christmas list," Brian told his son before getting onto ground to dig.

"Dad, I'm 31. I don't have a Christmas list any more."

The Doctor spun back arouund and chucked both his and Danni's arms in the air. "We do!" he shouted over before turning and heading over to the cliff face behind them where he had spotted a hatch.

"Computer in a cliff," he muttered, running his fingers over it, completely amazed.

Danni nodded. "Told you we were still on the ship," she replied in a sing-song voice and he grinned at her, placing a quick kiss on her lips, once again causing her to blush at the not-so-unwanted show of affection.

Maybe if she gave him more hints he'd do it again?

"My clever Danni-Girl," he praised as he pulled out his screwdriver with his one free hand.

"You can let go, you know? I'm not going anywhere."

She told him and he shook his head. "A ship with a dodgy teleport? I'm not letting you get shot off somewhere I don't know. We have enough trouble with your manipulator," he replied firmly as he zapped the panel. She frowned at his fierce concern, it was disconcerting after the cold Doctor she had just dealt with.

Rory and Brian ran up to them. "There's a floor under the beach," Brian told them as the Doctor opened the hatch with a flourish.

"See! Metal floor," he pointed to the ground, "screens in rocks," ge tapped the screen three times. "Danni was right, it was just a short-range teleport. We're still on the ship."

"No. We're outside, on a beach," Brian replied firmly.

"No, it's part of the ship, Dad," Rory tried to explain, but his father just looked at him.

"Don't be ridiculous."

"Well, it is quite ridiculous." The Doctor turned to Rory. "Also brilliant. That's why the system teleported us here - I wanted the engines." He spun around, letting go of Danni's hand and chucking his arms into the air. "This is the engine room! Hydro-generators."

"I have literally no idea what he's saying," Brian told his son.

"A spaceship powered by waves..." Rory started but Danni pressed a finger to his lips, smiling at Brian.

"Don't worry, no one ever does. It's part of his charm," she told him and he seemed to perk up slightly at this.

"Thank you..."

"Danni."

The Doctor joined them again at the screen, placing one arm around Brian's shoulders and taking Danni's hand back in the other. "Fabulously impossible! Oh, think of the things we could learn from this ship if we manage to stop it being blown to pieces."

"Plus, not dying," Danni muttered as she turned at a squark of a bird, seeing the pterodactyls flying closer. The lone creature had been joined by some of its friends and had become rather more of an issue that it was a minute ago.

"Bad news is -" the Doctor continued, oblivious to the threat. "-can't shut the wave systems down in time. Takes..." Danni tugged on his hand urgently and he turned around, eyes widening at the sight of the flying dinosaurs. "Takes way too long."

The two Williams men hadn't noticed, still studying the screen intently. "If these are the engines, there must be a control room." Rory mused and the Doctor turned back around.

"Exactly. That's what we need to find." He moved in closer to the two men, bringing them in closer as if he going to tell them a secret. "Now, what do we do about the things that aren't kestrels?"

The three quickly turned around, joining Danni to look up at the sky in shock. "Oh, my Lord. Are those pterodactyls?" Brian breathed.

"Yes," The Doctor drawled, eyeing them worriedly. "On any other occasion, I'd be thrilled. Exposed on a beach, less than thrilled. We should be going." He began walking, Danni jogging slightly to keep up with him as he did not seem to want to keep at her speed. Rory and Brian looked around, both feeling a bit bewildered.

"Where?" Brian asked.

"Definitely away from them!" Danni replied as he began to follow them.

"That's the plan?!" Rory exclaimed.

"That's the plan! Amendments welcome! Move away from the pterodactyls!"

The creatures began to gather closer and closer together, getting ready to attack and Rory began picking up his pace. "I think they might be noticing!" he cried.

"Amended plan – run!" the Doctor shouted at the foursome began heading along the cliff face, looking for a way out.

"Can't we just teleport or something?" Rory panted.

"No, local teleport's burned out on arrival," the Doctor explained, pointing at the cliff in front of them. "There's an opening in the cliffs over there!"

"Come on, run!" Rory told his dad, who was falling slightly behind.

"I'm trying!"

Danni pulled out of the Doctor's grip to fall in line with the older man, smiling reassuringly at him and trying to keep an eye out on the bird-like creatures in case they decided the attack. One swooped at them and she pushed Rory just enough out of the way so that instead of nipping at his shoulder, it brushed slightly against her cheek. They manage to get inside the cave and the Doctor immediately turned to her, checking her face worriedly.

"Are you alright?" he asked and she nodded, batting his hand away as he stroked the tender area.

"I'm fine, honest. It barely touched me. It'll probably just bruise a bit. I've been dissected, this is nothing." she told him and he nodded.

"This is why you need to stay with me, okay?"

"Of course, but I..."

He took both her hands in his. "No. You stay with me, no buts," he interrupted and she frowned angrily.

"Hang on, Spaceman. What happened to 'Why don't you just go home?'" He frowned at her but she shook her head. Would he even remember that considering how much further in the future he was? "This is not the time to do this. First, spaceship with dinosaurs about to be blown up, then we'll argue. What do we do now? There's no way back out there."

She her pointedly changed the topic and even though the Doctor obviously wasn't very happy with it, he followed her lead. "Through the cave, come on." Before they could head anywhere, however, a loud steady thudding began echoing through the cave.

"That suggestion was a work in progress," he pointed out as he tried to work out what to do, or what could possibly be coming for them, considering what was on the spaceship.

"We're trapped!" Brian panted.

"Yes, thanks for spelling it out," the Doctor murmured.

"Doctor, whatever's down there is coming this way," Rory added and the Doctor rolled his eyes.

"Spelling it out is hereditary, wonderful!"

"That sound's getting nearer!"

The Doctor backed himself and Danni up into the two other men. Realising they had absolutely nowhere to go, and even though she knew what was coming wasn't a dinosaur, Danni grabbed the Doctor's hand again. She shot him a smile that she was sure look more scared than apologetic at her sudden forceful contact, and he responded by squeezing her hand tightly. It really did reassure her, and she felt slightly better as the two yellow robots appeared from around the corner, sparking as they blocked their path.

"We're very cross with you!" one stated and Danni giggled happily.

"Oh my god, it's Mitchell and Webb!"