Chapter 64: Clouds Between Us
"Sometimes silence is louder than shouting. And distance grows in the space where words should have been."
Dear Diary,
Something cracked today.
I don't know if it was me, or him, or the fragile thing we were building between us.
His name is Andrew.
And lately, that name has felt like a sigh.
A soft place I could rest my thoughts in.
But today… it felt different.
Sharp. Heavy. Almost… unfamiliar.
It started with a message.
Or rather — the lack of one.
I sent him a photo of a poem I wrote this morning, one about butterflies caught between windows.
It was about feeling stuck. About wanting to fly and not knowing how.
I thought he'd get it.
I thought he'd say something like "You're already flying, Wunor."
But… nothing.
Hours passed.
Then, in school, I saw him laughing with someone I barely knew — the new girl with the perfect hair and the loud bracelets.
He looked... happy. Effortless.
Like nothing had been aching between us just days ago.
I stood across the hallway, watching.
Feeling like someone had emptied the color from the room except for him and her.
When we walked home later, it felt like we were both waiting for the other to speak first.
"You've been quiet," I said.
"So have you."
The air was thick.
"You didn't reply to my poem."
He shrugged. Shrugged.
"Didn't think it needed a reply."
Ouch.
He kept walking, like the sidewalk was more important than my heart unraveling beside him.
Dear Diary,
Why does this hurt more than it should?
Why does one shrug from Andrew feel like a door quietly closing?
Maybe I'm overthinking.
Maybe I wanted him to read between the lines of my poem and find me —
the girl tangled in metaphors, hoping he'd reach in and untangle her.
But today, he didn't.
And I don't know how to say:
"You not replying felt like you weren't listening."
Or worse:
"It felt like you didn't care."
When we reached my gate, I stopped.
"Andrew… is something wrong?"
He looked at me, then away.
"I don't know, Wunor. Maybe it's just… hard being close to someone who sees too much."
That sentence echoed in me like thunder in a hollow house.
"I don't want to lose you," I said softly.
He didn't answer.
Just nodded.
And left.
Dear Diary,
My heart feels like it's walking barefoot on glass.
I want to believe this is just a cloud —
just weather that will pass.
But right now, the distance between Andrew and me
feels like a whole sky.
I miss him.
Even though he's just next door.
Wunor 🌧️