Chapter 19: The Space Between Us

The sunlight spilled across Axel's bedroom floor in lazy streaks, golden and too warm for how cold he felt inside. His eyes fluttered open to a half-cracked ceiling and the hum of distant traffic outside his window. For a second, just a second, it almost felt like nothing had changed. Then he remembered the way Noah kissed him last night. The way he kissed him back. The way he wanted it. The rooftop. The way his breath caught in his throat when Noah whispered, "I don't want to be another thing you push away." Axel groaned, dragging his hand over his face. He sat up slowly, the sheet sliding down his bare chest. He still had yesterday's eyeliner smudged faintly under one eye.

Noah.

He reached for his phone like it was muscle memory, like maybe Noah had already texted him.

Nothing.

No notifications. Not even a little heart. Not even a dry "hey."

Axel hesitated for five full minutes, staring at the screen before finally typing something out.

AXEL

Hey.

Delivered.

Read... never.

He tossed the phone beside him and collapsed backward, both hands raking through his hair.

"What the hell am I doing," he muttered, staring at the ceiling like it had the answers.

The minutes dragged. The sunlight shifted. His stomach churned with a strange mix of anxiety and hope. What if Noah just needed space? What if he was freaking out too? Or worse what if last night was a mistake?

"No," Axel said out loud to no one. "He meant it. I know he did."

But then why wasn't he answering?

He lay there for maybe thirty more minutes, battling the thousand loud thoughts in his head, before grabbing his phone again. Still nothing. He opened his messages, hovered over one contact, and tapped.

AXEL

Luca u up?

The typing bubble appeared almost instantly.

LUCA

I'm always up. I've been watching slime videos for 45 minutes. What's up with u, chain boy?

AXEL

Can I talk to u? Just... like for real talk.

LUCA

👀 Oop. Let me grab tea and turn off this ASMR.

LUCA

What's wrong? You look like the type to make bad decisions and then panic after.

AXEL

That's literally what happened.

LUCA

Of course it is. Go ahead. I'm listening.

Axel sat upright on the bed, one leg bent, one stretched out. The phone felt heavier than it should.

AXEL

I kissed him again. Last night.

LUCA

...Noah?

AXEL

Yeah.

LUCA

Details. Now. Before I die.

Axel sighed but couldn't help the ghost of a smile tugging at his lips. He told him. Not everything, not right away, but enough. About the rooftop. About the moment. About the kiss. About how everything felt too big to name. Then he paused before typing again.

AXEL

And now he's ignoring me.

LUCA

Wait what? Since when?

AXEL

I texted him like an hour ago. He hasn't said anything. Not even a blue heart.

LUCA

Axel, it's been an hour.

AXEL

It's SUNDAY. What else is he doing?

LUCA

Breathing? Living? Peeing? I don't know, maybe he's panicking too?

AXEL

What if he regrets it?

There was a long pause. Then:

LUCA

Okay, honesty time: I don't think he regrets it. Not even close.

AXEL

How do u know.

LUCA

Because no one kisses like that and says stuff like he did unless they mean it. You felt it, didn't you?

Axel didn't answer right away. He looked at the sunlight now crawling halfway up his leg. The room was quiet, too quiet.

AXEL

Yeah. I felt it. That's what scares me.

LUCA

Babe. You like this boy.

AXEL

I know.

LUCA

And you're terrified he's gonna leave.

AXEL

...Yeah.

LUCA

You always do this. The moment something real happens, you assume it's temporary. Like you're temporary. But you're not, okay? You're not disposable, Axel.

Axel blinked.

AXEL

...

LUCA

Look, I'm not Noah. But I know what I saw yesterday. The way he looks at you? Boy was practically undressing you with his eyes.

Axel let out a laugh that cracked halfway through.

AXEL

I was wearing that black tank top.

LUCA

Oh, he noticed. We ALL noticed. Anyway. You need to stop playing ping-pong in your brain. If he likes you, he likes you. Don't spiral every time the wind changes direction.

AXEL

What do I do then?

LUCA

You wait. For once in your emotionally constipated life, you just... wait. Let him come to you.

AXEL

What if he doesn't.

LUCA

Then you'll text me again, we'll scream into the void together, and I'll tell you he's dumb. But I don't think he's dumb, Axel. I think he's just scared too.

Axel let the words settle.

LUCA

Look. You're not crazy for wanting something real. But you gotta give it the space to grow. Right now? You planted the seed last night. Don't go digging it up to check if it's sprouting.

There was a pause. Then another text.

LUCA

That was a metaphor. I'm really proud of it.

Axel snorted softly, thumbs pausing over the keyboard.

AXEL

Thanks.

LUCA

Anytime. Now go take a shower or something. You probably smell like teen angst.

AXEL

Shut up.

LUCA

Love u too 💅

Axel tossed his phone to the side again, this time with less force. He laid back down, eyes on the ceiling once more, the soft ghost of a smile tugging at his lips.

Noah still hadn't replied.

But maybe that didn't mean it was over.

Maybe it just meant... there was space.

Space between them.

Terrifying space.

Space that might bloom into something real.

And for once, Axel was willing to wait.