Slurpism

Finn, your average college student with one noble goal: get home and watch some quality adult content in peace. Tragically, fate had other plans. A truck barreled toward him… then stopped halfway. The driver locked eyes with Finn—
and hit him anyway.

Now he’s dead.

Wakes up in some divine waiting room. Gets mocked by a sarcastic, busty goddess. Gets offered the most useless powers imaginable.

And worst of all? Still no porn.

Frustrated beyond mortal comprehension, Finn throws an epic tantrum and drags the goddess down into the fantasy world with him. Now stuck in a realm full of grotesque monsters, cursed towns, and suspiciously moist terrain, Finn has no idea what he’s doing. No clue. No dignity. Suffering most of the time.

With zero powers, infinite horniness, and one very angry divine companion, can Finn survive this absurd new world?
Can he dodge death, outwit demonic squirrels, and maybe—just maybe—score a waifu?

Or will he die in this world too…
still painfully uncuddled?

Let the absurd isekai disaster begin.

[WARNING: THIS BOOK IS UNHINGED. DO NOT TAKE OFFENSE TO ANYTHING—IT’S ALL FOR COMEDIC PURPOSES. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.]

Not All Heroes Deserve a Room Key and Three Coins