Chapter 12: Conversation

The next few days... were normal. Slow... but... deeply emotional. Eventually, Arther's mom, dad all sit nearby. In there living room. As he sits in a onesie, with a hole cut in it for his taile. As his mom preswades him to talk. As she says "Please... you promosed. Lets start small... what... did it feel like when Alice started to... merge. You... said... that was what was going on. But... you have been avoiding it for so long. We need to know." He is quite for a while. Tail stiff, ears low. He says "When... this started... it... began with habits, small things... little... bits of her. Entering me... and... i could not get rid of them, some were... valuable, and... stuck. Some of them... both... me, and her in some... inbetween... some... only me. It... continued like that... until... All... of Alice was in me... and Arther was. I told you... its like... merging... but... it hurts. The fake backstory... becomes real. The insticts... of Alice's body, become... biology... and... female hormones, and... everything. I just... don't think im either of them anymore." His mother sits besides him, rubbing his back. Heartache in her eyes. His mom's fingers dig lightly into her knee, grounding herself. Arther's father, meanwhile, sits quiet across the room, elbows on his knees, staring not quite at Arther, not quite at the floor. He's been the quiet one through all of this. Not unsupportive—but unsure.

His father... speaks "Do... do... you still like girls even?" Arther is quite. "No... it was not by choice... the hormones... kind of did that. But... Alice did as well. She was a girl all her life. But... its not even that simple... this species... i made is... weird. Not... human."

Arther sighs deeply, its a fox sound, they say nothing, he shakes. Holding his head. "I guess... i should tell you how the ugly stuff works." He goes quite. "There is 3 forms of this species. They shift between them with mana. This is the main form... then there is... the true form... basicly... just... a little fox, that can't speak. Weak. When... they give birth they use that form. When they are born... they are in that form. When... young... broken... or... vulnerable. Its... a instictive socal... tool. Thats... how i... wrote it. When they want to truely... show... trust... they use that form. Second one... is soul form... its... basicly... uh..." He goes quite... he gulps "Its... a combat... uh... form... the shifts between all 3... are partly triggered by will, but also... need emotions." He is quite. "Then... i uh... don't... have periods." His mom is... cconfused. He says "I... i have a mating season... and any other time... there is... not much of any... desire. Then... when that... 2 weeks of a year... hit... sometime in... spring... desire goes crazy." He shakes quitely. Gulping... they can both clearly see... how anxious he is about when that time comes. He says "I think... i like guys now... but... it feels more... emotional... then... sexual... nothing works that way unless... its those two weeks." His mother spoke first, barely above a whisper. "You're scared of it." He nods... deeply. "yes... i... imagined how... being in heat... would... effect... Alice. In campaigns before." His father leans back... holds his head, and closes his eyes. Sighing deeply. "How... strong is it? Do... you go boy crazy?"

Arther is quite... "This species... mates... for... uh... for life. So... its more like... i desire... someone. one specific someone... for..." He blusehs, embarassed. "God... this... is so hard to explain. But... for... this race. Sense most of the time, they barely feel anything sexual... they use... close contact, as... love. Affection. A filter... they rarely... mate... just for... plesure... they just... don't... they only will chose to do with someone... that... they love, and they will... feel... very... attached. And... *sigh*" Its easy to see, he is trying to be clinical, and not cringe at the fact he is remembering his own worldbuilding notes, and it now describes his own biology. He says "I... can not even get... p-pregen-nent unless im in season. And... i am... still compatable... with humans... just... the child will be 100% this... species..." His father... realizes... thinks in fear 'my grand children... will be foxes...' he frowns deeply, and shakes. Breathing hard. Arther says slowly "Biology... is beyond... my control... it... it... is fucking with my head... and... there... there is nothing i can do about that. Then... there is Alice in there, and... and the only reason i even allowed any part of her in... was.... because... she knew how to handle... this... body... better. Worse... its not... like i can deny it... if she likes to eat apples, then that desire just sits there, along with my like of eating steak... it can fade... but... its just... as strong as my desire. Nehter are more powerful... both are equal... but... life decides what wins... not me."

Arther is quite "I... make animal sounds because... my subconchess is... not human. I feel desire for someone to love me, because Alice did, and i did. I want a partner even before... this. So both won. I hated crouds, and Alice... hates... being looked... at... like..." He shakes, as he remembers the looks boys give him. "So... Alice... won... there... and... its all just... life. What works... what does not... what is both, one, the other... or... what neither can handle." He is quite, shaking. Crying. Ears down, tears on that pretty perfect face. Small, short, female, yet... so... animal too.

Arther shakes, and begins to cry. "I still... love you so much. Alice never had love... when... when she showed up... she latched on hard to you. I still am arther... just... not... i love games, and science, and math... and all that. But... now... theres these other things... i know how to throw pencels so hard they go thru bone... and can cast spells." His father finally spoke again, voice low, rough. "So... no matter what we do. No matter what happens. This is permanent?" Arther is quite... "Yes... the emergence... seems to have no cure. There is worse cases then me. I read online about a kid who merged with a villan, and broke so hard he turnned into a murder. Or a person who became something not even humanoid. A person who became a D&D charictor with a curse that burned whoever he touched. There... are some, lucker then me. Who did not... gender reverse, who did not have a mind to merge with, just... a body, and instincts... each... transformed... is... special."

There is a quite. At least for his parents. For Arther... he has forgoten what silence was. As... he hears there every move, the cloth on there forms. His breathing, his heart. Yet... it no longer overwhelms him. It... feels ordinary. While the colors are off. The world is blurred. While his nose breaths in, the sent of himself, his mom, and the house. It brings a sense of instinctive safety, as if his instincts say 'this is my den, this is my family'. Despite the fact, he can clearly smell every body order, sweat, and armpit, it does not smell bad. He says "I... read a reddit story... where... a dude was... disowned... kicked... out of his house. Becuase... he grew horns... its... horrible. C... that fucking god... is horrible."

His mom moved, and hugged him deeply. Ignoring how... small, and soft he feels now. Not like Arther was... yet... still, reminded her well of Arther. She hugged him deeply. A low... 'mm' sound comes from him. Far too animalistic then normal, sharp, high-pitch. He calmed... stopped crying slowly. Just... shaken. As his father asks "Why... did you even... make Alice... why did this even... happen." Arther is quite. "I just... liked to imagine what... life was like for another. I made... someone that felt... real... when the world... was just... a place where imagination... stayed... fake. She had a place in my mind before this... a tool. Something to enjoy, pretend, and.... imagine. It... triggered becuase... i... liked how she felt sometimes... not... all the time. I saw... her as... a part of me, not a true part, but... something... to think with. Now... C ruined it... imagination. I hate this." He was quite. Its quite for a while. His father shakes... and eventually gets up. As he is teary eyed. "i... i need... time." His father exits the living room. Walking to his parents bedroom.