Chapter 29

Harlan

"The fuck... let go!" he said, pushing her away with a disgusted face. "What's wrong with you?"

"Did I scare the shit out of you?" She looked pleased with herself.

"You almost squeezed it out of me," he replied.

"Ew, TMI, dude," she said as she turned to look at Maya. "Dinner is ready," she said with a smile.

Maya looked tense, but he figured it was because of everything that had been going on with her lately. From becoming a wolf to being hurt in so many ways.

He wished he could help her. And that confused him. Because he didn't know why, nor did he know how.

"I'm going to take a shower," he announced.

"Please do," Gemma said with a pointed glance at his blood-soaked clothes. "Maya, would you mind helping me get the food out of the containers?"

maya went with her without hesitation.

Dinner was mostly calm. He maintained a steady conversation with Gemma, but Maya didn't talk much, only speaking when spoken to. He hated seeing her like this.

She barely touched her food but drank most of the wine.

"Are you okay?" Gemma asked.

She stared at them for a moment, as if contemplating if she should tell them. The answer was clear as she said, "I'm just not very hungry," with a short smile.

"You seemed very thirsty," he teased, desperate to get a reaction out of her. Anything to stop her from being sad.

Gemma glared at him.

"You haven't eaten all day. Is something upsetting you?"

Harlan had no idea she hadn't eaten at all.

"I..." she rubbed her forehead. "Don't feel very well."

She looked away. He could tell she was nauseous, so he rushed to stand beside her, to hold her up.

"Maybe she needs some rest. Help her to her bed while I clean up."

Harlan nodded and swept her up in his arms like she weighed nothing. Because to him, she was as light as a pillow.

It took him seconds to get to the room.

He placed her gently on the bed, and just as he was about to leave, she grabbed his hand.

"Stay," she said, slurring her words as she pulled him on the bed.

When did she get so strong? She was tall but lacked muscle. What was this about?

"What are you doing?" he asked, confused. He tried to get up but failed.

"I know this is wrong," she said softly. "Because you're dating Gemma and all.."

"What?" he said, revolted by the idea of even being with her in that way.

"Yeah, I mean, you came to my house smelling like her and you brought me here and.."

He rolled his eyes with a smile. Drunk Maya was cute, but she was also wrong.

"Gemma is my little sister," he responded calmly.

"What?"

She kept thinking for a moment as she sat up.

"Oh my God, Altair! That was her last name!"

She slapped herself in the forehead so hard she left a mark.

"Ouch."

He smiled to himself.

"You should get some rest, Maya. I'll bring you some food.."

"Don't," she interrupted. "I can't eat."

"What? Why?" he said, confused.

She paused for a moment. Something was bothering her.

"Because everything reminds me of what it was like to... rip his..."

She couldn't say it, so he nodded, letting her know he understood.

"It's eating me alive."

"I understand," he said, even though he didn't. "I'm not good at giving advice, and I'm sure you know this, but it is okay not to be okay with killing.."

"I am though," she admitted, tears welling in her eyes as she closed them. "I liked it. Killing him."

Now that was his territory.

"You should. He hurt you. He deserved it."

"I liked it in the moment, but I hate it now. I will never get rid of the feeling that.."

"My hands are stained with blood," they said at the same time.

"I'm a monster," she declared as she sobbed into her hands, the scent of tears filling the air.

He almost laughed. Her? A monster? Had she never seen what a monster looked like? He couldn't allow this. It was too ridiculous.

"Hey, listen to me," he said, prying her hands away from her face and forcing her to look at him.

"You are not a monster, Maya. You will never be a monster, no matter what you do."

He stroked her cheek with his thumb, drying her tears.

"The fact that you even feel bad you did something like that proves it. Your life was in danger, your instinct kicked in."

He took a deep breath while she watched attentively.

"We've all done things we aren't proud of to survive, and we must carry the weight of the consequences. But we keep living."

She looked at him through her tears, and he felt his heart breaking every time she cried.

"I know you think you are a monster too," she started, still very drunk. "I don't know what things you have done, Harlan. But you remind me of a dragon. Fierce and dangerous," she paused, placing a hand on his chest, "but noble and courageous. That's the closest you'll ever get to being a monster."

He stared at her for a while, knowing he didn't deserve what she was saying, because it simply wasn't true. He didn't have a good heart.

"But you don't know me.."

"Shhh," she said, her eyes now clear from tears as she let herself fall back into the mattress. Her eyes fluttered closed.

"All you have done from the moment I met you has been to save my life," she started, falling asleep as she muttered, "Don't ever call my hero a monster again."

He stared at her for a while, his heart filled with something he didn't recognize.

He wanted to kiss her so badly... What was going on with him?

He hadn't felt this way about anyone since Selene, but this was much more intense.

He needed to get away from this girl. If he didn't, he would end up destroying her.

"Don't do that," was the first thing Gemma said when he emerged from the guest room.

"Don't do what?" he asked, knowing exactly what she meant but not in the mood to talk about it.

"Don't push her away," she said, grabbing Harlan's wrist. "Like you do to everyone."

"Why do you care, Gemma?" he snapped.

"I have a feeling.."

He snatched his wrist away.

"You and your fucking feelings," Harlan snarled as he started heading downstairs.

"She can be good for you, Harlan. Maybe she can get you to forgive yourself," Gemma followed him.

"I don't deserve forgiveness," was all he said before he left.