Chapter 13 There are only two types of people who can chew gum on TV. Those who want to chew gum, and those with no manners.

Chapter 13

There are only two types of people who can chew gum on TV. Those who want to chew gum, and those with no manners.

This was a world where football was everything. Beyond the core subjects, the curriculum included football-related courses.

Morning for books. Afternoon for football. Simple as that.

Today was Monday. The afternoon football course was Professor Kwan's duties and tactics class.

Since it was a combined class for all grade levels, students gathered at the football field. They sat in the bleachers while Professor Kwan stood alone in the center with his high-tech teaching equipment.

No need for blackboards or whiteboards here.

This world's technology had reached the point where three-dimensional holograms could display visual images.

Because of that damn Shambo. The three great families declared war on me.

And it was that same damn Shambo who boldly challenged them to a duel during this tactics class.

I had no idea how we'd fight. What kind of competition. What rules we'd follow.

But one thing was certain—disaster was creeping closer.

And there was only one thing I could do right now.

Time to pay attention in class!

Eyes focused. Ears listening. Brain thinking. Mind concentrated. If I didn't understand something, I'd ask without shame.

I had to learn everything the professor would teach. Absorb every detail, no matter how small. Try to make myself better and more knowledgeable in this short time.

Otherwise, I'd lose miserably to the three great families. And Shambo had run his mouth too much. If I lost, it wouldn't end well.

Alright. Enough complaining. What's done is done. Better focus on studying now.

Bring it on, Professor Kwan.

This Assarun will memorize every word you teach.

"Football is the supreme mainstream of the universe," Professor Kwan began his lecture, pressing the remote to advance his slides. "It's a science so important it can determine the survival or destruction of nations. Don't treat it as child's play. Always remember that your life and your family's survival depends on this."

The hologram displayed images of countries that had collapsed from defeats in football matches.

Hearing this made it sound excessive and ridiculous. Just losing at kicking a ball could destroy a country?

But this was a super fantasy football game. It had to have something this over-the-top.

"It's no different from war. Therefore, you must prepare thoroughly. Calculations regarding all fundamentals of competition cannot be relaxed. Try to learn your own strength well, and try to learn the enemy's strength even better. If you can do that, no matter what battle you face, you'll return victorious."

I understood what the professor was trying to say. But I wondered—was this professor descended from scholars or great poets?

So flowery with words.

Everything he said had to be crafted to sound sharp and profound.

Seriously, just saying "Know yourself and know your enemy, and you'll win every battle" would've been enough.

"Knowing your enemy's strength is like squeezing toothpaste back into the tube. It's never easy."

"What's the point of squeezing it back in? If you're that worried about wasting toothpaste, use it to polish shoes or jewelry."

Laughter erupted.

Who just mocked the professor? Pretty bold.

Then the professor pressed his remote. The hologram changed from collapsing nations to a video of a cute girl.

"Hello everyone~ Today we meet with Eternal Ice Idol Lima again as always~ They say it's impossible to get squeezed toothpaste back into the tube. Eh~ Really? Lima never thought about this before! Alright! Today Lima will try this challenge! Please cheer Lima on~!"

"I get the war stuff, but what's the point of showing a video about squeezing toothpaste back?!"

Another round of mockery. Another burst of laughter from the entire class.

Hey!

"Pay attention to the lesson! I'm being serious here! What's the point of watching a girl squeeze toothpaste back into a tube?!"

Professor Kwan looked at the video and smiled proudly.

Oh wait... was this his way of helping students relax and enjoy learning?

That's brilliant...

I didn't mean to criticize or anything.

But compared to professors who just enter the classroom and recite textbooks for the entire period, a professor who uses non-textbook materials to create a better learning atmosphere is amazing.

I was starting to respect Professor Kwan. Sorry for doubting your good intentions, Professor. I feel guilty now. I won't question your teaching methods again.

"Hup! Hiyah~! Acting like it's easy and going at it... you toothpaste... Aaaaah! It got in my eyes! I accidentally squeezed too hard with the hand holding the toothpaste! It stings! Staff! I need water urgently!"

The girl in the video screamed.

"See? That's how difficult squeezing toothpaste back into the tube is," Professor Kwan said.

"Um, we see that, but she probably doesn't. Getting toothpaste in her eyes like that."

Another round of laughter.

"Uhhh, looks like Lima has to say goodbye to viewers to go wash her eyes~ If you enjoyed this and want to support Lima, please like and subscribe! Bye bye~ See you next time!"

"Just like she said. Don't forget to hit those buttons."

Professor Kwan clicked like and showed it off. He didn't need to click subscribe since clicking it again would unsubscribe.

"What?! So you just wanted to promote your favorite idol?! Give me back the faith I accidentally gave you!"

More laughter, but this time it was very close to my ear.

"Hahaha, Assarun... stop with the jokes. I'm laughing so hard my stomach hurts."

Asuka, sitting next to me, laughed until she collapsed on the desk.

Wait, what's happening? I was making jokes in my head without speaking out loud, wasn't I? Why is this happening?

"Haha! Big brother is amazing. Not only godlike at football, but master-level at comedy too. Making the whole class laugh."

Shambo was in the same state as Asuka.

Huh...!

So I wasn't just making jokes in my head—I was actually speaking out loud?

The person who'd been mocking the professor throughout the lesson was... me?

This is bad! What the hell is happening...?