"When the End of the World Asked Me Out Over Coffee"
Volume 3: The Apocalypse Wants to Date Me (And She's Hot)
Chapter 11: "When the End of the World Asked Me Out Over Coffee"
---
Kai thought he'd seen it all.
Goddesses trying to seduce or slay him, glitch-riddled quests rewriting his memories, cursed rings of love and doom...
But nothing prepared him for this:
A coffee date with the literal Embodiment of the End of the World.
---
It began at dawn. Birds chirped. Yui was training with Iseria. Velmaria and Seraphina were arguing over breakfast spice levels. Kai opened his quest log, expecting the usual glowing death threats.
Instead, he got:
---
[New Main Quest: "End-Date: Flirt with the Apocalypse"]
[Objective: Meet Her at the Café Between Realities]
[Warning: The End of the World is Extremely Attractive and Mildly Unstable]
[Reward: Unknown – Possibly Survival. Possibly Romantic Entanglement. Possibly Both.]
---
He blinked.
"Kai?" Nyxa hovered beside him. "You've gone pale. Did a time-bomb goddess send you another poem?"
"Worse," Kai mumbled. "I have a date with Doomsday."
Everyone paused.
Velmaria smirked. "Hope you're bringing flowers."
---
The Café Between Realities was surprisingly quaint. Brick walls floating in mist. A barista who might've once been a storm cloud. And soft jazz playing from nowhere.
Kai sat at a floating table, heart thumping.
And then she walked in.
She wasn't fire or darkness. No screaming voids or exploding suns. Just... a woman. Tall, stunning, with crimson hair like flame frozen mid-flicker. Her eyes shimmered like collapsed stars.
She wore a black jacket. A "World Ender" patch on the sleeve.
And a shy smile.
"Hey," she said. "I'm Aeva. But you can call me Eva."
Kai blinked. "You're... the Apocalypse?"
She shrugged, sitting. "Most people picture me as explosions or screams. I'm more of a soft collapse kinda girl."
---
[Aeva: Entity Classification – Final Reality Trigger. Personality: Sarcastic, Lonely, Surprisingly Dateable]
---
"So," she said, sipping something cosmic. "You're the glitch guy. The one all the divine girls are obsessed with."
Kai sipped his coffee, which inexplicably tasted like childhood nostalgia.
"That's... accurate."
"And yet you haven't exploded. Impressive."
Kai narrowed his eyes. "Why am I here?"
Eva leaned in, chin on palm. "Because I'm falling in love with you."
Kai spat his drink. "WHAT."
She giggled. "Don't look so shocked. I read your file. You've loved goddesses, demons, sentient weapons—hell, even a reincarnated catgirl pirate."
"Don't judge me," Kai muttered.
She winked. "I'm not. I'm joining."
---
[Quest Branch: Apocalypse Courtship Unlocked]
[Option 1: Politely Decline and Trigger Timeline Collapse]
[Option 2: Flirt Back and Try Not to Die]
[Option 3: Run. This will fail.]
---
"Why me?" Kai asked quietly.
Eva's eyes softened. "Because you fight fate. And you laugh in the middle of it. That's... rare. Beautiful."
She reached out, her fingers glowing with crumbling time.
"I won't hurt you. Unless you want me to. Kidding. Mostly."
Kai held up his hands. "Okay, okay. How about... one harmless date?"
She beamed. "Best decision you'll never regret."
---
They talked.
About collapsing realities.
Favorite dreams.
Why Eva likes cats.
And whether love can survive the end.
---
After an hour, Eva stood.
"This was nice," she said. "I haven't laughed in eons."
She leaned close. Her breath smelled like the end of spring.
"I'd like a second date."
Kai hesitated.
And nodded.
"Just don't blow up the world if I'm late."
She smiled. "Deal."
And vanished.
---
Back at camp, the girls pounced.
"You went on a DATE with DOOM?!" Velmaria yelled.
"She asked nicely," Kai said defensively.
Yui facepalmed. "We need apocalypse insurance."
Seraphina: "I might actually be jealous."
Iseria just sighed. "She's prettier than I expected."
Nyxa dinged.
---
> [New Companion Path Added: Eva, The Apocalypse – Cautious Romance Level 1]
[System Note: The World May End When She Falls in Love. No Pressure.]
---
Kai flopped into his hammock.
Another day.
Another flirtation with extinction.
He closed his eyes.
And smiled.
---
End of Chapter 11 – Volume 3 Begins