Why ?

I woke up in the middle of the night. I had collapsed into bed after a good shower yesterday, I really needed it.

The problem now was… what to do? It was nighttime, everyone was asleep, and even though Amelia had told me she would teach me what I missed, there was a small problem.

Which room was she in?

I couldn't just barge into everyone's room until I found her. I'm the great sorcerer Cain—I can't stoop that low!

Or maybe I could… It is for learning magic, after all…

No! I must resist, steel my mind! Yes, that's it!

But still… what now?

I could go back to the blood room, but staying there for several more weeks would be a problem.

I know! I'll work out. Just because I'm a sorcerer doesn't mean my body shouldn't get stronger. Especially since my element is literally tied to it.

So I set off toward the training room I saw on the first day. Thinking back, I'd never actually trained physically before.

Well, there's a first time for everything, I guess.

I hadn't made it halfway when I came across a small, familiar silhouette. Her blue eyes shimmered in the darkness.

I raised my hand to greet her, but she walked right past me without even looking, her gaze fixed on the ground.

Amelia's words came back to me—she had been acting strange lately. I hadn't known her for long, but this behavior was the complete opposite of how she was at first.

Still, I wondered… Why, out of everyone, did Amelia ask me to talk to Julia? Surely she knows I'm not the type to comfort people or whatever. Or maybe… maybe it was for another reason?

I really didn't feel like it, but if I wanted her to teach me what I missed, maybe I should do what she asked?

Yeah… I guess this is how I pay for the lessons she'll give me.

Julia was walking slowly, so I caught up to her and put my hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, mind telling me why you're ignoring me?"

She flinched at my touch, I must've startled her.

"Don't touch me, Cain."

Was she mocking me?

"You're the one saying that? You've done it to me several times—why can't I return the favor?"

She didn't answer, just pushed my hand away and kept walking.

So that's how she wanted to play it? She wasn't going to beat me at this game tonight.

I followed her like a shadow.

"What's going on with you?"

No answer. She was heading to her room.

"Why won't you talk to me? Are you mad?"

She grabbed her clothes and headed for the showers. I waited outside, facing the stall she was in.

"Are people bullying you?"

A stupid question. If someone was getting bullied, Julia would probably be the bully.

She went back to her room and lay down on her bed, pretending to sleep. I sat on the little desk chair, I certainly wasn't giving up now.

"Come on, just tell me what's wrong and I'll leave you alone."

"You don't want to talk to me? Some people would pay for that! Like that kid I saw in the cafeteria yesterday."

"You're really stubborn, but I'm even worse—you should give up while you still can!"

I hoped she'd respond soon. Otherwise, I'd have to go with the heavy emotional artillery…

She was under the covers, facing the wall, pretending to sleep, but I knew she wasn't. I could hear her heartbeat… it was irregular.

Wait a second… since when can I do that? Incredible! It's a sign, my path to supremacy and ultimate power is finally beginning!

But I digress.

Time to use the classic fake-out technique—my last resort.

I pretended to leave the room.

"Fine. If you don't want to talk to me, I won't talk to you either."

I did my best to make my voice shake like I was sad. I even stopped smiling for a second—what wouldn't I do for magic?

"I guess you didn't want us to be friends. If all you wanted was to use us for—"

She suddenly turned around, glaring at me.

"Don't fake being sad. It pisses me off more than your damn smile."

That bitch, I was doing all this for her! Well… not really, when I think about it, but still, I wanted to help her in a way!

Little by little, things heated up.

"What the hell is your problem with me?"

"You are the problem, Cain. You act like you're happy all the time when you don't give a damn about anything!"

"It's not about pretending to be happy, Julia. And you, with your depressed expression, what are you trying to do?"

"I'm not depressed! That's not what this is about!"

"Then tell me, damn it! I've been waiting for over an hour!"

She suddenly stopped yelling.

"Someone like you wouldn't understand."

I shrugged.

"Of course I wouldn't understand, what did you expect? You're all weird to me. But I'll listen."

She stared into my eyes. I couldn't see her face clearly in the dark, but I could still make out the gleam in her eyes.

After a few long seconds, she sighed in resignation.

"Sit down."

Didn't need to be told—I wasn't about to stand there like an idiot during her monologue.

She stayed silent for a moment, searching for her words.

"You know… as far back as I can remember, I've always brought misfortune to those around me. Every time I got close to someone, something bad happened. My mother died giving birth to me, and my father hated me for it."

I already didn't like where this was going.

"But I couldn't bring myself to hate him. He was my father, after all. So I loved him anyway, even though I felt he didn't love me back. He still took care of me and treated me well despite financial difficulties. But shortly after I turned six, he died in a car crash on his way to pick me up from school."

I was beginning to understand.

"I was placed in an orphanage on the outskirts of a small town—the run-down kind. But everyone there was kind and loving, a warmth I had never known. Most of the other kids had gone through the same things I had. For the first time, I felt at home… like I belonged."

That must be why Amelia asked me to talk to her—and no one else.

Julia laughed bitterly.

"And guess what, Cain? Two years later, that same orphanage I called home, and those people I called family… they all burned. An accident, they said. I was the only one who survived. I spent months wandering the streets aimlessly. I didn't eat, I didn't drink. I even tried to end it all a few times. But every time, something or someone stopped me—as if fate wanted me to live while everyone around me died. It's a little unfair, don't you think?"

Why try to end your own life? I didn't understand. The people around her died, sure, but that's just life's cycle. Why be sad? I really can't understand.

"I can't see your face, but I know you probably don't get it. Whatever, I'll keep going. A while later, still wandering without purpose, I met a man. He took me in without a second thought. At first, I didn't wanted to stay—I knew I'd only bring him death and misery. But deep down, I still wanted to experience that happiness… even if it cost others their lives. That life lasted for years, and this man, Leon, taught me everything—from how to live, to my job, to how society works. He was my father, my mother, my teacher, and my best friend. He was everything."

Let me guess…

"It lasted until I was fourteen. I had hoped that this happiness would last forever… that the previous events were just bad luck. But guess what?"

Her voice trembled, her heart pounded. She was about to cry—or maybe she already was. I couldn't tell. But why… why did I feel so angry? I wasn't the one affected—this had nothing to do with me. I shouldn't care, right?

"They took him from me too. It was like someone was always watching me, making sure I never got to keep the happiness I longed for."

I heard her curl up, barely making out her silhouette. Her arms wrapped around her knees, head lowered. I could hear her sniffing.

She was crying.

But from the start, I didn't care about her story.

For someone like me, who had lived through true hell on Earth, this was nothing.

I had only said I'd listen to her to do Amelia a favor—so she'd teach me magic.

So why?

Why were my lips trembling at the sight of that fragile-looking figure?

Why had my fists clenched tighter and tighter as she spoke?

Why were my teeth gritted so hard in the face of a misery I considered insignificant?

Why, after all this time keeping my emotions in check, did I suddenly want to burn whoever had hurt this girl?