CHAPTER 10

It was a cold, foggy morning when, on her way to school, she walked into the café where she and Lukas had first met. The smell of freshly brewed coffee filled the air, and the warm glow of the lights seemed to envelop her for a moment. She sat in a corner to lose herself in thought.

As she sipped her coffee, a wave of memories came over her of her first conversations with Lukas. How he made her laugh, his gentle manner, and the way he encouraged her to talk about her feelings. It had been a ray of hope that had ignited a spark of hope within her. But now, that spark seemed far away.

Lost in thought, she didn't notice Max appearing behind her until he sat down directly across from her. "Hey, Paulina. What are you doing here all alone?" he asked with a mischievous grin.

Max's constant presence confused her. He dragged her down with his words, while at the same time she knew she should distance herself from him. "I'm just enjoying a cup of coffee," she replied, trying to appear indifferent.

"Let's do something together. I have an idea," he said, his eyes sparkling with excitement. She couldn't resist, and even though she knew it wasn't what she needed, she agreed.

A short time later, they found themselves in a small park, surrounded by the autumnal beauty of the colorful leaves. Max talked incessantly, and Lina pretended to listen with interest, her thoughts constantly returning to Lukas.

Time passed, and as Max distracted her with his stories, the darkness seemed to lift for a moment. But when they returned, she was overcome by the realization that it was only a fleeting escape.

Lina knew she had to do something. She had to break the chains that bound Max to her. But how? The thought alone made her panic. The habit of clinging to him was strong, and the fear of the unknown closed around her heart.

That evening, as she lay in her room staring at the ceiling, she was overwhelmed by the realization that she had to break the cycle. Max wouldn't save her, and she had to pull herself out of the swamp of sadness.

She thought of Lukas and the possibility of seeing him again. The thought was a faint ray of light, reminding her that there was still hope. Maybe it wasn't too late, and she could pull herself together again. But what would Lukas think if he knew the reality?

The questions tormented her, and as the hours passed, the darkness within her grew stronger. But amidst all these thoughts, a small spark of determination sprouted.

It was time to regain control of her own life.

The days passed, but for Lina, time seemed to stand still. Each day was a repeat of the last—a constant cycle of uncertainty and inner emptiness. Max stayed by her side, but his presence brought no real relief. On the contrary, every time she was with him, she felt even more isolated from the world.

Lina knew she had to change something. Her thoughts kept circling around Lukas, who seemed so far away since their last meeting. She hadn't contacted him, afraid he might think she was weak or desperate. But the longing to see him again burned deep inside her.

One evening, when the pressure became unbearable, she reached for her phone. Her fingers trembled as she looked up Lukas's name in her contact list. She couldn't bring herself to write to him. What should she tell him? That she missed him? That she couldn't stop thinking about him?

Instead, she scrolled through her old messages, reading the words he'd written her weeks ago. He'd always encouraged her to be strong. "You can do this, Lina," he'd said. "There's always a way, even if things seem dark right now." But those words, which had once filled her with hope, now felt empty.

The pressure in her chest grew stronger, and she felt her breathing quicken. Her asthma made it difficult to take a deep breath, and she automatically reached for her inhaler. She inhaled slowly and felt the fog of despair lift for a moment. But the fight was far from over.

That night, she couldn't sleep. She tossed and turned in her bed, her thoughts constantly circling around Lukas and Max. Max had captivated her, she knew that. He was manipulative, had taken advantage of her in moments of weakness, but she had still sought refuge in his company. It was a kind of dependency she couldn't escape.

But Lukas was different. He was kind, sincere—and unattainable. How could she have someone like him in her life? How could she even imagine that he could understand her or help her? These thoughts gnawed at her, made her doubtful, and made it impossible for her to find peace.

The next morning, she decided to go to the café. The place where she had first met Lukas had become a refuge for her. She hoped the familiar surroundings could calm her.

As she entered the café, the aroma of fresh coffee wafted toward her, but instead of finding comfort, a wave of loneliness washed over her. She sat in the corner where she and Lukas had sat and stared out the window. The world outside seemed to move on, while she was stuck, unable to move forward.

An hour passed without her moving. She thought about Lukas, about Max, about her life and the choices she had made. It felt as if everything was leading to a point—a point where she had to make a decision. But she didn't know which path to take.

When she finally left the café, nothing had changed. But deep inside her, a faint whisper began to stir—a whisper that told her she had to face the darkness. How, she didn't yet know. But the thought was there, hidden beneath all the pain and uncertainty.

Lina felt the weight of her thoughts as she walked aimlessly through the streets. The gray sky above her reflected the gloomy mood raging within her. She knew she had to do something, but every step felt heavy, as if she were walking through thick fog, not knowing where the path led.

Max had written to her several times in the last few days, but she hadn't responded. His messages were filled with an unbearable kindness that she now perceived as nothing more than a manipulative facade. Nevertheless, she felt a certain attraction to him—a dark, desperate attraction that she couldn't shake. In moments when loneliness became overwhelming, Max was the only person who seemed reachable.

But there was also the fear. The fear that she might become dependent on him, that he would take control of her. Her parents had often told her how weak she was, how she couldn't do anything on her own. Her mother and stepfather had never understood what was really going on inside her. They only saw her as the "weird girl" who couldn't accomplish anything, who was too sensitive, too fragile. And Max knew that. He took advantage of it in a way she couldn't fully understand.

As she continued walking, she passed the park where she had often played as a child. The swing set she used to sit on was still there. Without thinking, she walked over and sat down. The park was deserted, and the silence enveloped her like a heavy cloak.

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and tried to push away the emptiness inside her. But instead, she felt her thoughts return to Max and Lukas again and again. It was like a constant battle in her mind. Lukas was the light she needed, yet unattainable. Max was the darkness that could consume her, yet within reach.

The cold of the metal beneath her hands brought her back to reality. She opened her eyes and saw that night had fallen. The dark blue of the sky and the first stars brought a hint of peace, but the storm continued to rage inside her.

As she stood up, she saw her phone blink. A message from Max. She wanted to ignore it, but her fingers were faster than her mind.

"What are you doing right now?" it read. Simple, yet serious. She stared at the words as if they were a decision she had to make now. A decision that would affect her destiny.

After a few seconds of hesitation, she texted back: "I'm in the park." It wasn't long before a reply came: "I'll come by."

Lina didn't know why she allowed it, but she couldn't get up and leave. She stayed there, waiting, as the darkness thickened.

The minutes passed slowly as Lina continued to sit on the swing, waiting for Max. She pulled her scarf tighter around her neck, the cool night air cutting through her clothes and making her shiver. Her thoughts swirled incessantly around the past few days. It was as if she were balancing on a fine line, between despair and a spark of hope. But in that moment, the abyss seemed closer than hope.

Then she heard footsteps behind her. Slowly, she turned and saw Max emerging from the darkness. His face was only vaguely visible in the dim light of the park lamps, but his eyes sparkled alertly. He smiled slightly as he approached, but it wasn't a warm smile. It was the kind of smile that always made her a little uneasy, as if he knew something she didn't understand.

"You look like you could use some company," he said as he sat down next to her on the swing. She just nodded silently, unable to find the right words. Max seemed to notice and placed a hand on her shoulder, a gesture meant to be calming but only made her more nervous.

"You know, Lina," he began, "sometimes you feel like everything is against you. But in truth, the power always lies within yourself." His words sounded like advice, but Lina knew they came from him, to guide her in a certain direction. Max had this ability to influence people, to manipulate them without them realizing it. And yet today she was too exhausted to resist.

"I don't know what to do," she murmured softly. The words came out of her mouth before she could stop them. It was the naked truth she was revealing to him, and it made her feel even more vulnerable.

Max leaned toward her, his voice softening, almost tender. "Lina, you don't have to go through everything alone. I'm here for you. Always." The intensity in his eyes made her pause for a moment. It was as if he could see through her, as if he saw all her insecurities and fears.

Before she could respond, she felt his lips on hers. It was unexpected, almost mechanical, and yet she let it happen. In that moment, she felt empty and yet desperate for closeness. Her head screamed that it was wrong, but her body didn't react. She simply let herself be carried away by the situation, unable to think clearly.

The minutes passed, and the cold of the night seemed all the more intense as the silence between them grew.

The next morning, Lina woke up feeling empty. The events of the previous night seemed like a distant dream, but the unease in her stomach reminded her that it was real. She lay in her bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to organize the thoughts swirling around in her head. The memory of Max's touch, his words, all of it now seemed so wrong, so unreal.

Why had she allowed it? She knew she had no feelings for him. Max was brilliant at many things, but he wasn't Lukas. Her heart still beat for Lukas, even if she was ashamed of that love because it remained unrequited. She couldn't understand why she had put herself in this situation. It was as if she were trapped in a fog, unable to see clearly what was right or wrong.

She slowly sat up and wrapped her arms around her knees. The loneliness in her room felt oppressive, as if the walls were closing in. She had thought that the night with Max would change something inside her, perhaps ease her tormenting feelings. But it hadn't changed anything. On the contrary, it made her feel even more broken.

The phone vibrated on her nightstand. It was a message from Lukas. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw his name on the screen. She hesitated for a moment before picking up the phone. The words were like a balm for her wounded soul.

"Good morning, Lina. I hope you're well. Maybe we should meet at the café today? I'd love to."

Her fingers trembled slightly as she read the message. Lukas was always so thoughtful, so kind. He had no idea how much his words affected her. To him, she was probably just a girl who needed some help. He saw her as nothing more than a broken soul that needed to be healed. But to Lina, he was much more than that. He was her lifeline in this dark world.

She knew she would see him today. She had to see him, even if it meant continuing to live in this illusion.

Lina stared at the message from Lukas and felt a warm shiver run through her body. This was what she needed: an encounter with him. Maybe today could help her clear the fog in her head, fill the emptiness she'd felt since last night. She took a deep breath, typed a short reply, and agreed to meet him at the café.

She dressed slowly, choosing her outfit carefully this time. It shouldn't be anything fancy, but not too casual either. She wanted to please him without being too conspicuous. Looking in the mirror, she tried to reassure herself. But the eyes staring back at her seemed empty, as if a part of her had vanished.

The walk to the café seemed longer than usual today. Every step felt heavy, as if her feet were stuck in a thick mud. She wondered if Lukas would notice anything about her. Would he see how lost she was? Or would he just pretend everything was normal, like always?

By the time she reached the café, she felt like she couldn't breathe. Her asthma was acting up, and she took a deep drag on her inhaler before pushing open the door. The familiar smell of freshly brewed coffee and warm croissants hit her, but today it gave her no comfort. Everything felt foreign, as if she wasn't really here.

Lukas was already sitting at one of the back tables, near the window as always. His gaze was lost in thought as he looked out the window, but as soon as he noticed Lina, his face lit up. He beckoned her over, smiling.