Chapter 123: Kai Part 2: Chasing A Witch Down A Phallus!

In a certain mountain range, in a certain kingdom. A group of soldiers could be seen following the tracks of some large chicken footed creature.

"Sir Lui! It seems it has changed directions once more!"

"Damn it! We don't have much time!" The leader of the soldiers spoke in frustration.

Sir Lui, a knight in the service of Duke Fiora had heard rumors of the mysterious Dr. Fun and sought to capture the medical practitioner and bring her before the duke. However, after the clown attack in Coco village, the 'Doctor Fun's Miraculous Clown Clinic' had somehow vanished, leaving only the tracks of a beast behind. Out of desperation, Sir Lui had quickly set out to track down the beast in hopes of finding clues as to the witch doctor's whereabouts. However, after several days of chasing the beast's footprints, they had failed to even catch a glimpse of the creature. Realizing they were getting nowhere, the knight was about to tell his men to give up their search when he suddenly noticed something while looking at the map.

"Wait, a moment! Is this some kind of joke?"

After taking a closer look at the beast's pathway, he couldn't believe his eyes.

"Sir Lui, have you noticed something?"

"Is this truly the path we have been following over the last couple of days?"

"Yes, Sir! Is something the matter?"

"*sigh* I think I know where its headed next! I hope you understand if this is some kind of prank, you can expect quite the punishment later!"

"Hm? What? Why?"

"Never mind! We are heading towards the mountain peak in the north!"

"Yes, Sir!"

And so, the group headed up the mountain, and at the peak they spotted, something rather strange.

"S-Sir! Is that?!"

What the soldiers witnessed at the top of the mountain was the clinic they had originally been searching for. The spotless clinic was sticking out like a sore thumb amidst the mossy rocks and bushes that surrounded it. Right outside the clinic was Dr. Fun. She was sitting at a small table, enjoying a cup of tea.

"Hey, doc! I got some firewood!" The clown nurse spoke as he came carrying a large pile of sticks towards her, only to trip on a rock and throw them all in her direction.

Fortunately, she came prepared with an umbrella which she used to block the rain of firewood.

"Sorry bout that doc!" The clown nurse spoke as he got up and started to pick up the sticks from the ground.

"AAAAHHHH! THAT'S HOT!"

Of course, the moment he came to pick up the ones that had fallen near Dr. Fun, she had immediately poured her cup of steaming hot tea on his head. While her assistant was rolling around on the ground covered in tea, Dr. Fun stood up and looked in the knight's direction.

Seeing that they had been spotted, Sir Lui had walked out from the bush he had been hiding in.

"Excuse me miss! You wouldn't happen to be Dr. Fun?"

"…!"

"Hey, our leader asked you a question! Answer him!" One of the soldiers yelled at Dr. Fun.

"Calm yourself Gillion! We are the men in service to Duke Fiora! We would like to request that you follow us!"

"Huh? Oh, no! It's the fuzz! Run for it!" The clown nurse said as he recovered from the hot tea and started running.

*Swoosh*

However, before the clown could get away, he was captured in a net thrown by the soldiers who had snuck around the back of the clinic. Just in case they tried to flee, Lui had ordered his men to surround the mountain peak.

Seeing her assistant captured in a fishing net, Dr. Fun sat back down at her table and poured another cup of tea for herself.

"Ack! How did you even find us?"

"Is that even a question?" Lui spoke as he threw their map on the ground.

The map displayed the surrounding area, while a line was drawn to show their path. With the line moving up the mountain, they were just one line off from drawing a penis on the map. Lui had realized this after seeing where the tracks were heading next after walking in circles at the bottom of the mountain.

"WHAT?! IS THAT WHY YOU MADE US WALTZ AROUND ALL WEEK?!" The clown nurse shouted at Dr. Fun.

"Such a crude and juvenile prank is unbecoming of a lady! Though I suppose that is not your only faux pa!" Lui said to the witchdoctor.

*sip*

Giving no reaction other than to sip her tea, Dr. Fun just ignored him as she watched her clown nurse struggle to break free from the net.

"The duke has requested your presence! If you do not come willingly, we will have to place you under arrest for medical malpractice!"

"…"

"Have it your way than! Capture her!" Lui ordered his men after receiving no reply

"Um! Mister fuzz, I wouldn't do that!" The clown nurse chimed in as the soldiers were tying a rope around his limbs to stop him from flailing around so much.

Just as the men were about to grab Dr. Fun, she started playing the triangle she had hidden up her sleeve.

*thud*

*rumble*

Just as the men grabbed her and pinned her to the ground, the ground began to shake and rumble.

"What is that?!"

Ever since leaving Coco village, the question of exactly what creature the footprints they were tracking belonged to had been nagging at the back of Lui's mind. However, never could he have foreseen the answer to that question.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

Before the soldiers, was stood the 'Doctor Fun's Miraculous Clown Clinic'. It had sprouted two giant chicken legs from under the building which it used to stand up as it let out a high-pitched scream that made their ears bleed.

"Ugh! Make it stop!" Lui tried to shout through the noise at Dr. Fun as he covered his ears.

As soldiers who were holding her down were now clutching the sides of their heads in pain from their ruptured eardrums, Dr. Fun had stood back up and started brushing off the dirt on her clothes as she seemed to be the only one unaffected by the clinic's loud scream.

She then pulled out a music box and started cranking the handle. As the lullaby began to play, the screams of the clinic began to calm down, as it sat back down on the ground, its legs hidden beneath its head, making it appear like an ordinary building once more.

"Ugh! WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE GOING!" Lui shouted at the witchdoctor as he was nearly deafened by the clinic's scream.

While the men were still reeling on the ground from experiencing the clinic's loud shriek Dr. Fun had pulled out her earplugs before walking into the building. Lui was just about to follow, but just before his hand touched the doorknob, the creature suddenly stood back up and started walking away.

"STOP! COME BACK! OR WE WILL KILL YOUR COMPATRIOT!" Lui shouted at the chicken-footed clinic that was walking down the mountain.

"WHAT?!" The clown nurse shouted as his hearing was also impaired.

*Swoosh*

*Swoosh*

"Oh no! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

After Lui threatened to kill her assistant, Dr. Fun stuck her head out a window on the side of the clinic before pulling out a crossbow and firing a plunger at the clown's head. Once it was latched on to the bald spot on his head, she used the rope she had tied to the plunger to drag him across the ground while they made their escape.

"Wha! QUICKLY AFTER HER!" Lui shouted at his men.

"WHAT?!" One of the deafened soldiers responded.

…

Lui's POV:

My name is Lui von Schwarts.

I was born as a noble in the northern kingdom of Kai, a country founded by settlers from the magic continent. I was the third son of a baron, and as such I did not inherit my father's position once he passed away.

I had always been rather skilled with the blade. Hence, I underwent training to become a knight in service under the leader of the political faction which my household belonged, the Duke of Fiora. However…

"Oh, no! His lordship has caught the plague!"

The lord of which I had sworn my loyalty too had caught the plague while surveying his territory. We had searched far and wide for a cure, even going so far as to solicit help from other countries, but nothing worked. Then one day, a rumor of a witch who could cure any ailment started spreading throughout the territory. Grasping at straws, I looked into the rumor, and it led me to the isolated mountain village of Coco. However, it would seem as if I arrived too late and the villagers had already chased her off. The only trace left behind, being the tracks of some giant beast.

Upon further questioning, I discovered that the plague which afflicts my lord had also reached this place, and what's more, the witch had cured it. Finally seeing a light at the end of the tunnel, I rushed after the creature that left those tracks, in hopes of finding a clue as to the witchdoctor's whereabouts. However…

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

I had underestimated her, thinking she was just a weak yet excentric woman, with a strangely dressed apprentice, and so I attempted to cease her by force, but in my defense, no one could have expected her residence to suddenly sprout legs and emit such a frightfully loud shriek. After recomposing ourselves, we quickly gave chase after the witch and her companion, as we raced down the mountain, completing that vulgar phallus on our map, much to my dismay.

Eventually, we managed to catch up with the creature as it slowed down to change its direction once it had reached the base of the mountain.

"WAIT! WE DON'T WISH YOU ANY HARM!"

"As if we would fall for that right doc! Doc? AAAAAHHH!" The witches companion spoke when the witch suddenly stopped reeling him in and dropped him back to the ground.

"WE HAVE DESPERAT NEED OF YOUR SKILLS! PLEASE! I BEG OF YOU!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

It seemed as though my pleas were answered as the creature began to slow to a halt. It soon, hunched over me as I could see the witch looking down on me from the window. She then pointed at me for some reason.

"Me?"

"*Huff* The doc is telling you to speak!" The apprentice spoke from the side.

"Uh! Well, you see, the duke has caught the plague and is in desperate need of treatment! I have heard you are the only one who knows how to cure my lord's ailment! Please, forgive our earlier outburst! I beseech you to save his lordship!" I begged.

I would resort to anything in order to save my liege, whether it be medicine or witchcraft it does not matter, for that is the vow I took back then.

The witch rubbed her chin for a bit as she pondered before making an 'Okay' sign with her fingers.

"The doc say she'll do it! But no more funny business, you hear! *honk**honk*" The man said with a serious look in his eyes as he reached up to squeeze his big red nose, letting out a honking sound as he did.

"Uh! Of course!" I spoke as I was a little put off by the duo.

And so, with the witch in tow, we headed towards the duke's estate.