Chapter 143: Chou Part 6: The Subtle Art Of Negotiations

In December, an army of soldiers could be seen trekking through the Equestrian Mountains towards the Ryu empire.

"I-I still can't b-believe this! H-How did you m-manage to get th-this army so q-quickly?" The armored rabbit mascot spoke from atop her horse.

"You have much to learn about the subtle art of negotiations young princess Wabbit!" Nox spoke while relaxing on her sled.

"Subtle my ass! *huff* You just barged into the palace and started threatening the emperor, while you had us storm the place!" Shinji said.

"I would never do such a crude and un-lady like thing, and frankly I'm insulted you even suggested otherwise!"

"*Huff* We were right there you know, and just because you keep saying you're a woman doesn't make it true!" Kenji said.

"Oh, what a cruel world! Slandered by my own children!"

"Hey! *Huff* Can't you just have one of the *huff* horses do this?"

"Yeah! *Wheeze* And if you have to have someone doing this *Huff* Kenji is more than strong enough to do it on his own!"

After making the emperor her subordinate, Nox had asked him to lend her a small army she could take on her next errand. After which she had pulled out a sled and told her two disciples to drag it to their next destination while wearing some fake antlers.

"Quit your yapping or I'm putting the two of you on monster duty!" Nox threatened.

"…!"

"…!"

Recalling their bad experiences with this place, the two of them went silent.

"Take notes princess, that is how you negotiate a fair deal!"

"Doesn't sound fair to me!" Shinji muttered.

"What was that Slowpoke!"

"N-Nothing!"

"That's what I thought! Anyways, the only reason it went so smoothly was because the majority of the country's strongest cultivators had been stationed around the border in case of an attack from the Dark Empire. Thanks to that, only a handful of scrubs remained to protect the palace! If this was before the Dark Empire, the outcome would have been different as the place would be crawling with golden cores and a couple nascent souls!"

"Uh-uhm!"

*SCREECH*

Just as Sakura tried to formulate her reply, the loud screeching of a giant eagle rang out as it was about to eat one of the soldiers whole.

*BOOM*

*Sizzle*

Interrupting the building sized bird, Nox pulled out her magic gun and fired a beam straight through its torso causing the man it was about to swallow to come falling back out its stomach.

"Seems like todays dinner will be this giant pigeon!"

Through the entire history of the Ryu Empire and the Qi sect, there has never occurred any armed conflicts between these two powerhouses. The reason behind this is not due to any official peace agreements or negotiations made between them, nor do they have any alliance or trading of goods. No, the reason why they have never fought on the battlefield is mostly due to the dangerous mountain range that stretches across their border, the 'Equestrian Mountain Range'.

It is filled with dangerous wildlife and savage tribes who will make quick work of any normal army. Between the countless rare- and unique-grade magic beasts, the poisonous plants and insects, along with the often-violent indigenous tribes isolated within these mountain peaks, even golden core cultivators would struggle to survive the journey.

With the requirement to traverse these mountains being as high as it is, and the sea route being no better, any attempts made by one side to invade the other would be doomed to fail from the start. Because of this, what little soldiers stationed near the border are mostly there to protect the surrounding settlements in case of monster attacks.

Which means, if someone were able to safely lead an army through these mountains of death, they could easily sneak by the widely spaced-out settlements. And with the capital being located on the southern side of its territory, depending on where they exit the mountains, they could theoretically chart a course leading directly to the country's capital without being noticed.

And that was exactly what Nox was planning to do. She spent most of December protecting the army of soldiers trekking through the snowy mountains from any beasts, poisons, savage tribes and even a number of newly discovered diseases that had infected their camp. Finally, after grilling countless unique-grade magic beasts, a ton of antidotes and a few vaccines she had to create on the spot, they finally made it across the border. From there they headed directly to the Ryu capital where they would launch a sneak attack through a hidden escape tunnel leading directly to the royal palace.

"Somethings not right!" Nox said, while inside their tent.

They had set up camp in a secluded forest not far from the capital while they waited for the sun to set, as they were planning to attack under the cover of night.

"What's the matter boss?" Kenji asked

"We managed to sneak all the way to outside the capital, seemingly without being detected!"

"Isn't that good then!"

"No! That's bad! Very bad! And if we don't figure out why our plan hasn't been derailed yet, we are screwed!"

"I'm confused! Do you want this plan to fail or?"

"Stupid, stupid Meathead! A plan succeeding without a hitch only happens once every thousand years for me, and I already received that miracle back when we went shopping for an emperor in the Chou royal mall, remember! Which means, there is definitely something wrong here!"

"You sure you're not just being paranoid?"

"Meathead! I'm sending you to summer camp!"

"Hm? But its winter!"

"Not where you are going it's not!"

Nox said, before pulling out some glowing chalk and drawing an ominous magic circle in the air.

"Boss? What is that?" Kenji asked as he started to inch away from her.

"A portal to hell!" Nox said, as the magic circle activated, creating a dark red portal.

"Wait, let's talk about this!"

"Nope! In you go!" Nox said as she lifted up the young man almost twice her size and threw him in before closing the portal.

"Hey, boss I'm back! Uhm! Where is Kenji?" Shinji asked as he walked into the tent.

"Summer camp!"

"…"

"What's wrong? Do you want to join him?" Nox asked as she pulled out the chalk.

"No, no! I'm fine! I just wasn't expecting you to send him away right before the battle!"

"You sure you don't want to go back? I only dragged you back here cause you seemed so interested in that girl last time you were here!"

Exactly one year ago on this exact spot, Shinji after being kidnapped and nearly splattered across the ground for getting on Nox's nerves, had met Sakura, while at the same time taking his first life.

"Well, that was-!"

"O.M.G! Does my baby boy have a crush on princess Wabbit?!"

"WHAT?! N-NO, I-!"

"I got to go share this with the world right now!" Nox said as she walked out the tent.

"HEY EVERYBODY! MY *muffled*!"

Before Nox could scream to the whole camp about her unconfirmed suspicion, the flustered Shinji had quickly used his hand to cover her mouth before pulling her back into the tent.

"Stop it! It was bad enough when you did this in the academy!"

*muffled talking*

"Is that a woman's perfume on I smell on this hand? Slowpoke, you dirty boy!" Nox said after prying Shinji's hand off her mouth.

"What?! No, its not! Your imagining things!" Shinji said growing even redder in the face.

"It feels like just yesterday you were whacking it in my apartment! To think my baby boy is now getting it on with a furry princess! They grow up so fast *sniffle*" Nox said while wiping her tears with a handkerchief.

"Could you stop with that? I don't want you spreading any more misinformation about me to the world! Especially-!"

"Ugh! Uh! S-Sir, Shinji?" Sakura said, while stumbling into the tent.

"Yeah! Hey, what's up Sa- I mean Miss Sakura!" Shinji said in a fluster.

"So, have you two done it yet?" Nox chimed in from behind Shinji.

"WHAT?!"

"Come on! Don't be shy princess Wabbit! Or should I start calling you my new daughter-in-law?"

"S-Sir. S-Shinji, what. Is she. T-Talking about?"

"I-It's nothing! She just starts talking crazy nonsense sometimes! Just ignore her!"

"Hey! When have I ever done that? Every word that leaves these lips of mine contains the infinite wisdom of the universe! Now tell this refined maiden about her virgin son's sex life rabbit girl!"

"Uhm!"

"See! Crazy nonsense!" Shinji said as he pointed at the sane maiden who was more concerned about conquering this country in time for Christmas rather than the actual conquest.

"How rude! I will have to have a word with your camp counselor la-!" Nox suddenly froze mid-sentence as her demeanor changed.

"What are you-!"

"We are under attack!" Nox spoke as she pulled out her favorite jagged green dagger.

"What. Are. You. Ta-!"

*BOOM*

Just as Sakura was about to ask what Nox meant, their tent exploded.

…

Sakura's POV:

It would seem as though the devil, while not as sadistic as her demon subordinate, is far more unhinged. Her plan to aid me in taking back my home from those treacherous scoundrels was to storm the Chou imperial palace, demand the emperor hand over his army, have them trespass on the Qi sect's territory, before leading us on a suicidal journey through one of the most dangerous places on the continent, all because she wanted to finish this in time for Christmas. The only thing more insane than her plan was the fact that she actually made it happen.

Disguised as that demon she scheduled a meeting with the emperor, and when she returned she held an imperial decree granting her control over the country's military force. She then teleported us to the southeastern border and conscripted a few hundred soldiers to join us into the Qi sect, where she seemed to have already established some connections as we were let through without much of a fuss. But the thing that shocked me the most would have to be what I witnessed on our journey through the Equestrian Mountain Range.

No matter the danger we faced, she would solve it almost instantly. I still recall how she ripped a unique-grade gorilla into pieces using nothing but her bare hands. Whenever someone was poisoned from a plant or insect, she would have a cure for it in her dimensional storage space. And when the soldiers suddenly fell under the effects of an unknown disease, she only needed a day to develop a treatment for their ailments. I would honestly wish we only had to go through such an experience only once over the course of our travels, but it seemed as though every time we attempted to consume the flesh of a new specimen of magical beast, we would encounter a new ailment. Due to that devil's rush to reach the Ryu empire by Christmas, we did not have the time to properly stock up on supplies. Hence, why we were forced to rely on that devil's bounty to sustain ourselves.

As I would watch our soldiers start to vomit blood, while their faces became swollen or discolored faces, the thing that unnerved me the most would be the gleeful mutterings of that devil as she extracted their blood to device a cure.

Surprisingly, we managed to make it across the border casualty free, with our only losses being the moral of the soldiers, who suffered through the journey. On our way to the imperial capital of Ryu, I wanted to go over our strategy once more. Unfortunately, I struggled to follow that devil's words due to her lack of common sense and strange mannerisms. I instead decided to go through her disciple Sir Shinji, whenever I had any inquiries about our future plans.

As we spent more and more time together over the course of our journey, our talks became less formal as we began to share our tales and interests, though with me still readjusting after months of being a mute, I fear I wasn't much of a conversation partner. I had been curious to know how he had come to be taken in under that silly devil, but never could I have imagined his tale to be so tragic.

As we were about to get ready for the assault on my former home, I heard a sudden shout coming from the devil's tent

"HEY EVERYBODY! MY!"

Curious I went to take a look. As I approached the tent I overheard some of their conversation going on within the tent.

"-you dirty boy!"

"What?! No, its not! Your imagining things!"

"It feels like just yesterday you were whacking it in my apartment! To think my baby boy is now getting it on with a furry princess! They grow up so fast *sniffle*"

Recognizing Sir Shinji's voice, I was a little caught off guard at their exchange of words and hesitated to enter. However, as it was getting a little hard to hear, I moved a bit closer to, but I tripped on a rock and stumbled into the tent.

"Ugh! Uh! S-Sir, Shinji?" I stuttered out, feeling thankful for my speech impediment for the first time as I hoped it would disguise the embarrassment in my voice.

"Yeah! Hey, what's up Sa- I mean Miss Sakura!"

It seemed as though Sir Shinji was not expecting my sudden appearance either as he seemed rather distressed upon my sudden intrusion.

"So, have you two done it yet?" The devil spoke without an ounce of hesitation.

I could see Sir Shinji turn red with shame as he too, was certainly not expecting this devil to throw out such a crude remark. Asking if we have shared a kiss when we have barely even held hands once, and that was by accident.

"Come on! Don't be shy princess Wabbit! Or should I start calling you my new daughter-in-law?" The devil said, while poking fun at us.

As the devil kept hassling me for details on my interactions with Sir Shinji, I felt thankful that this rabbit helmet came equipped with a visor that covered my face. I can only imagine how red my face must be at her words. Looking over at Sir Shinji I could see his face was turning even red with shame as well. I wondered if he perhaps was feeling embarrassed for the same reasons as me or if he was just feeling ashamed of being lumped together with me in this manner.

"S-Sir. S-Shinji, what. Is she. T-Talking about?" I asked, wanting to know his thoughts.

"I-It's nothing! She just starts talking crazy nonsense sometimes! Just ignore her!" He said, as I could see him begin to recompose himself.

"Hey! When have I ever done that? Every word that leaves these lips of mine contains the infinite wisdom of the universe! Now tell this refined maiden about her virgin son's sex life rabbit girl!" The devil spoke to me.

"Uhm!"

Not knowing what to say I just froze up.

"See! Crazy nonsense!" Sir Shinji spoke, as all the red had disappeared from his face.

He had told me many times of this little devil's silly antics. Come to think of it, he did mention how she liked to spread embarrassing false rumors about him in the past. Maby that was what this was. I wonder why am I-?

"We are under attack!"

Snapping me out of my reveries, the silly little devil's demeanor suddenly turned serious as she pulled out an ominous blade from her sleeve.

"What. Are. You. Ta-!"

Before I could finish asking, there was a sudden flash of light accompanied by a loud boom. Before I knew it, the tent was gone as I saw Sir Shinji lying on top of me. I could feel my heart racing out of my chest as I saw his face up close.

"HEY, STOP FLIRTING YOU TWO AND GET UP!" The silly devil shouted.

"Huh?"

As I turned my attention to my surroundings, I noticed a blue translucent barrier surrounding us. Looking through it I could see a number of other tents exploding from the rain of fireballs. That must have been what that flash of light was, which means the reason why Sir Shinji was sprawled over me right now must be!

*BOOM*

"I SAID STOP FLIRTING!" The little devil screamed, as another fireball hit the barrier.

"R-Right!" Sir Shinji stuttered as he stood up.

"IN THE NAME OF EMPEROR RYU HINATA, YOU ARE TO SURRENDER YOURSELVES, REBEL SCUM, OR FACE DEATH AS TRAITORS OF THE RYU EMPIRE!" The soldier shouted from between the trees where the fireballs were coming from.

I could see the silhouettes of people in the dark, moving between the trees as they seemed to be trying to surround the camp. I could spot more and more magic circles appear from between the trees as they seemed to be preparing for another volley.

"How did they find us? We made sure to stay out of sight from any lookouts or settlements! So, how?" Sir Shinji spoke.

"Who, knows! Maybe it's a traitor, maybe we were spotted, or maybe it's just a coincidence! Whichever it is, they got the drop on us and the men are panicking!"

"What sh-should we d-do?"

"Wabbit, rally the men and storm the castle as planned! Slowpoke, you be her prince charming and protect her!"

"And what are you going to do?"

Just then the barrier went down as the devil pulled out some dirty old bandages.

"I'll be hunting the most dangerous game! NOW GO!"

"Let's go!"

"B-But!"

*Boom*

Just then another fireball came flying at us only to explode prematurely as the devil had thrown something at it before it hit its target.

"Come on!"

And so, Sir Shinji took my hand and pulled me towards the center of the camp where our soldiers were fleeing. Leaving that little devil to face an army

…

Nox's POV:

After sending Madam naughty girl to the naughty corner dimension until she becomes a good girl again, I decided to take the coal to the face in her place when Santa comes to town, as any good boss should. So, I righteously stole my subordinate's identity as I began wrapping up my Christmas presents. Of course, I quickly noticed naughty old Madam had missed a few things from my Christmas list and so, I hurried to the mall at the royal palace to buy my presents with her money. I'm sure she wouldn't mind.

After entering the imperial Chou mall, I was quickly taken to the senile old mall manager Mr. Chou, who offered to help me find what I was looking for. Unfortunately, old man Chou had forgotten to take his pills and so, he went on a rampage when I tried to buy the last Chou Empire they had in stock. So, I called in my two sons, Meathead and Slowpoke to help me make him take his pills. Unfortunately, I had to interrupt Meatheads slumber party at the Qi house, so his group of friends came toddling after him. How cute! It took some effort, but we managed to at least make him take his blue pills, which made him sane enough to sell me the empire. Though I'm still a little upset he refused to take his red pills, as I had taken special care to prepare them for him, but oh, well. 

After buying the Chou Empire-set I took some of the toy soldiers out of the box and let princess Wabbit and my two kids play with them on our road trip to princess Wabbit's home. I even got to borrow Santa's sled after he realized what a good girl I had been this year for taking that coal to the face for old Madam.

Anyways, on the way there I realized little Meathead needed to go to summer camp to practice for his big day at the cultivator farting competition and so I dropped him off on the way over. As we were about to reach princess Wabbit's palace house, I took a look at the back of the sled to find that my little Slowpoke and princess Wabbit were making kissy faces while hugging in the backseat. So cute! My baby boy's first love! It was so cute in fact, I got distracted from the road and ended up crashing into princess Wabbit's, uncle's sled, and he was so not happy about that. So, he called his insurance company to stop us from reaching the Wabbit house. My sled had run out of gas right outside the house, so I just sent the two love birds in to enjoy their new toys, while big mommy Nox handled the mean old insurance company.

"AAAAAAHHHH!"

It took a while, since the mean old insurance people wanted to take the two love bird-wabbit hybrids with them as collateral for the damages to uncle Wabbit's sled.

"No, no, no, no, no, no! STAY AWAY FROM ME YOU MONSTER!"

 Of course I wasn't going to let that happen.

"Kill! Me!"

So, we made an agreement. In exchange for ruining uncle Wabbit's sled, I would throw them a piñata party in the dank and cool forest outside the Wabbit house.

*Mariachi music playing on loop*

*Splatter*

*Splatter*

*Splatter*

After a whole night of smashing piñatas all over the place, I decided to go check in on the kids. And I was treated to a scrapbook worthy scene as I quickly took out my crystal ball camera to record my baby boy's first kiss.