Chapter 151: The Neighborhood Watch VS The Government!

Nox's POV:

So, after uniting half the neighborhood I decided to give that playboy a call to see if he would be willing to pay his rent before I decided to kick him out for being a bad neighbor. However, …

"Hey! That's mine!"

"You're still not old enough for this yet! *Gulp*! Just wait until your birthday and I will let you have all the alcohol you could ever want! Speaking of! I've been wondering whether we should have our wedding on your birthday or the day after! I wanted to have our ceremony as soon as possible, but I don't want to miss a chance to spoil you with my affection! What do you think?"

It seems this creepy kleptomaniac was not satisfied after stealing the cup of bacteria I had gotten as a Christmas gift from my wabbit-in-law and was now asking for my blessing to steal my first born from my favorite daughter-in-law. Was my money printing machine not enough for this guy?

I was going to try and talk him down as I don't think my first-born swings that way. But…

"SON?! Oh, wait! Are you perhaps referring to your disciple? You shouldn't scare me like that! Though, if you behave yourself, we might have one as early as next year!"

"Hm? Gross!"

However, he seemed determined to be put on the sex offender list, as I could feel his schlong through his clothes go stiff from just thinking of my Crybaby son! As a member of the 'I love everything' club, I have no grievances over my children being gay and free, but if this asshole thinks he can get out paying his rent by replacing my daughter-in-law, then he's got another thing coming.

To ensure this dirty creep doesn't use his position as my Crybaby's boss to force the matter, I was going to use his future tummy ache as an excuse to make him take his anti-boner medication in the form of a knife, but the police must have been listening in on our conversation as they suddenly stormed the building.

"Oh, good! The cops are here!"

"My lord! We have finished setting up the barrier! In addition, we have destroyed the ritual magic that was set up around the city!"

Unfortunately, it seems as though the government is conspiring against the neighborhood and so, I had to take matters into my own hands and became the terrorist this neighborhood needs. That is the story of how I became, the woman who called the neighborhood watch.

"They are the neighborhood watch this continent deserves! Now surrender yourselves peacefully and we might not castrate you all! Maybe!" I spoke while trying to come up with a cool theme song for the neighborhood watch.

"Whoa there nelly! Don't be too haaaAAH! *thud*"

Unfortunately, before I did, my new seat suddenly forgot it was a chair and turned into a horse before throwing me into a wall. What poor timing am I right. Anyways, the neighborhood watch did their best, but they couldn't force the long arm of the corrupt law to put that creep on a list, no matter how many petitions we threw at them. In fact, they even went as far as to send us a message by stealing my horse-chair hybrid. That was the last straw. As a terrorist of this neighborhood, I cannot stand for the injustice of having to stand.

So, I hopped in my neighborhood watch's private floating island and started chasing after them in a high-speed chase through the sky. Blasting their ship with my top-of-the-line bootleg magic cannons which I had copied and improved upon after taking a look at my son's design.

…

Dark Lord's POV:

After my desire calmed down, the physicians managed to temporarily stall the deterioration of my body through a mix of acupuncture and high-grade pills that slow the flow of qi within a cultivator's body.

I struggled to take my seat in the control room.

"What's our status?"

"MY LORD! THE ISLEND OF WALPURGIS IS CHASING AFTER US WHILE FIRING HIGHLY CONSENTRATED ENERGY BEAMS IN OUR DIRECTION! OUR BARRIER IS ALREADY ABOUT TO GO DOWN AS IT CAN'T HANDLE MUCH MORE!"

"Can't we outrun it?"

"WE ARE TRYING, BUT WE ARE UNSURE IF WE CAN LEAVE ITS RANGE OF FIRE BEFORE OUR BARRIER SHATTERS!"

"Release a smokescreen and take evasive maneuvers!"

"We have already tried that Sir, but it seems to be able to track our location with precision even without a visual!"

*BOOM*

"THEN FIRE BACK AT HER!"

"YES!"

*BOOM*

*SMASH*

*SIZZLE*

"SIR!"

"I KNOW! I SAW!"

Just as I gave the order to launch a counterattack, the barrier was pierced as a beam of light melted all the magic canons on deck. They are the only artillery we have on board capable of firing in all four cardinal directions. That means if we want to launch an attack, we will have to turn the ship around to use the canons on the side, which would give her a chance to catch up to us.

"Hehe! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Your majesty?"

I started laughing as u realized. This had all started with her running from me, and now our positions had been reversed completely. Me the Dark Lord, the most feared existence on this continent, fleeing with my tale between my legs from a little girl. I can't think of anything funnier.

"HAHAHA! *cough**cough*! Ugh!"

Unfortunately, my condition would not allow me to fully enjoy this joke.

"*Sigh* Turn the ship around, divert all the power to the side canons and fire at the enemies weapons!"

"But my lord!"

"Silence! If we can destroy her weapons, she will become nothing more than a moving target!"

"Yes, my lord!"

*BOOM*

*BOOM*

And so, as we turned of all our defenses and turned our ship, we fired a full power volley at magic canons of Walpurgis at the same time as she fired a beam that pierced straight through us, creating a massive hole through our aircraft, while we achieved our goal of destroying her weapons.

Despite our ship being run through, we remained in the air if only barely. Meanwhile, her intermittent attacks stopped completely as she floated towards us.

"WE DID IT! WE DESTROYED THE ENEMY CANONS!"

"Good! Now sink that island!"

"Eh, my lord!" my subordinate muttered nervously.

"What is it?"

"While we managed to take out the enemy canons, our generator was damaged in that last attack! We barely have enough power to move the ship, but even that is only temporary! If we divert any more power, there is a good chance the ships engine will fail, and we will plummet to the ground!"

"What? So, does that mean we can't attack either?" Another one of my men chimed in.

"Hehe! So, it's a draw then! I can live with that!" I spoke, feeling good about matching my beloved in aerial combat.

"Eh, my lord!"

"Hm? What is it now? Is she calling a truce!"

"No, its not that! I just noticed that we are currently moving slower than the Walpurgis island!"

"Your point?"

"It might be my imagination, but it doesn't seem like the island is slowing down! In fact, it seems like it is accelerating in our direction!"

"Maybe she is coming to surrender herself! Haha!" One of my men mused as they chuckled in unison.

"QUICKLY! PUT ALL THE POWER INTO THE THRUSTERS! NOW!"

"What? My Lord! If we change anything in the power distribution it could destabilize the-!"

"I DON'T CARE IF YOU HAVE TO GO OUT AND PUSH IT WITH YOUR BARE HANDS! JUST GET THIS SHIP MOVING AWAY FROM THAT ISLAND!"

The reason I was so anxious to get away from that island is because of the painful lesson I learned last year. That woman won't hesitate to use the pinnacle of magical engineering that is Walpurgis to bash in someone's skull. If I had to guess, now that her weapons are out of order, she is probably thinking of ramming the whole island into our ship in order to sink us. The worst part about this situation is that we can't even fight back now that our ship is damaged. As things stand, we might not even be able to escape.

Is surrendering our only option? Maybe if I ask her cutely, she will be open to negotiating? No, never mind, she cares little for my handsome appearance. If anything, she might just want to destroy us more. Wait!

"Set our course towards the Dark Palace!"

If we can just make it to the dark palace, we can use its defenses to hold her off for a bit. If I can retrieve that elixir, I could cure this poison and handle it all myself. Fortunately, with the distance we had gained from before, we were able to reach the Dark Palace before she caught up to us.

I felt relieved upon hearing of our arrival. However, I soon despaired upon seeing the state of my palace.