Chapter 155: Throwing The Continent To The Dogs!

Xie Xiu's POV:

Soon after we sent that smug bastard flying, we suddenly got a telepathic message through our soul contract to evacuate from the capital. At first, I didn't understand what that shorty was thinking, but I soon realized what that lunatic was planning as I watched the giant explosion from half a mile away.

*BOOOM*

"HOLY MOTHER OF-!"

I could feel some of the heat and shockwave from the explosion of the Walpurgis Island. As the smoke cleared, it became apparent that the once flourishing city had been replaced with a giant crater.

"Just who the hell is that little shrimp?" I muttered as I turned to move towards our rendezvous spot.

We had sadly lost many great warriors in the battle for the continent. Not long after the capital of the Dark Empire was destroyed the remaining settlements surrounding the country soon fell under our control. In less than a month since our initial assault began, we had officially conquered every square inch of the Dark Empire's territory on this continent. All that remained was to weed out any remaining rebels from the previous regime, while establishing the new one. Which is what I assume is what we will be talking about now.

Me and the other representatives were currently inside the private meeting room in the city of Latnos. Last time I was here, was three days before we began our assault on the Empire, when that shrimp had shut down all our suggestions before disappearing.

"So, how are you going to tell the world you're the new empress of the continent?" I asked, breaking the awkward silence in the room.

"Hm? Why would I do that?" She said, holding up a sign with a question mark on it.

"Why wouldn't you? Wasn't that the whole point behind this alliance you forced us into?"

"Nope!" She said, confusing both me and everyone here.

"I am confused! Was it not your intent in calling this meeting to discuss your ascension to the monarch of the 1st martial continent?" My disciple chimed in.

"What gave you that idea?" She said, while putting on a paper crown with a '#1' on it.

"…?"

"Then why unify the continent under you?" The Chou Emperor asked the question on everyone's minds.

She had used her subordinates to form soul contracts with nearly every major force on the continent. The only nation who could threaten her power over the 1st martial continent was the Dark Empire, which was the first thing she had us take care of after forming this alliance. With it out of the picture, she could just take over the new territory as a new dark lord while turning the rest of us into vassals of her new nation through the soul contract. That was what me and probably everyone else here assumed would happen, but…

"Did I forget to tell you all? The reason for all of this is because the Dark Lord owed me money!"

"…?"

"As the phasmophobic city lord over there can attest, the dark lord hired me as a bodyguard a couple years back! However, he docked my pay for no good reason after the job was done and kept harassing me! So, I took some payback by kicking him off his turf! The continental conquest thing was just a side effect!"

"…"

An awkward silence filled the room as nobody was expecting that the mastermind behind this multi nation alliance, and the fall of the Dark Empire, would have such a stupid reason for flipping the whole continent on its head.

"So, let me get this straight! You had your grunts go all over the continent?"

"Yep!"

"Had the leaders of every major nation or sect sell their souls through them?"

"Well, I signed some of those in person, but yeah!"

"And trampled all over the biggest powerhouse on the continent, all because you were mad about not getting paid!"

"Yep! Good recap there Kissy! I was worried your horse-brain wasn't able to understand me there for a second!"

"LIKE HELL I UNDERSTAND! WHO CONQUERS A CONTINENT ON A WHIM!"

"I do!" The little freak said while raising her hand in the air.

"*Sigh* So, what happens now? You mentioned earlier you weren't going to take over as the ruler of the continent! Then do we divide it between ourselves?"

"It would prove difficult to manage the new land for us who do not have a direct border with the fallen empire!" The King of Kai spoke.

"Nah, let's just keep it simple! Let's just keep this alliance going into a new country all together!" The shorty said, giving me a feeling she is about to pull something weird again.

"What does thou mean!" The representative for the Hi empire asked.

"After defeating the evil lord of darkness, the legendary heroes will unite the continent into a new age of prosperity under a single massive oligarchical nation, or that's what the history books will say anyways!"

"You can't be serious!"

"That will never work! The people won't accept this!"

"What's going on, and what is an oliga-whatchamacallit?" I whispered as my head was hurting from all this political stuff.

"An oligarchy is a nation ruled by multiple people, and what's going on is that I'm a make you all change your nationalities to my new puppet nation!" The shrimp spoke, apparently having heard my whispers.

"Nationality?"

"I don't like how many weirdly named countries there are here, so I'm gona have you all work fuse your countries together into the cool new Puppy Empire!" She said, pulling on a rope that dropped confetti all over us along with a banner that said 'Puppy Empire! Yay!'.

"LIKE HELL WE ARE CALLING OURSELVES THAT!"

"AND YOU CALL OUR COUNTRIES NAMES WEIRD! WHO IS GOING TO TAKE US SERIOUSLY IF WE CALL OURSELVES THAT!"

"AND WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO CALL THIS NEW ERA OF THE CONTINENT?"

As everyone started screaming into the ear of the little weirdo who wanted to name the biggest country in the history of this continent after a dog, I just stared off into space while thinking about that guy. I'm sure that chicken would have loved to see all these great emperors freaking out at every little word coming out of that shrimps mouth.

*Bang*

Suddenly, the door to the meeting room slammed open, snapping me out of my reveries. Looking over we were all astonished to see who entered.

"Sorry, for my late arrival!"

"L-LIU!?"

"BUT HOW? YOU ARE DEAD?"

"IS I-IT A G-G-GHOST!"

Liu, the sect leader of the Hollow sect had been slain right before we retreated. I had personally seen our soldiers carry his mutilated corpse out of the city when we made our escape.

"Hmph! Like I could ever leave this earth without the knowledge if that bastard's demise!"

"BUT I SAW YOUR CORPSE! THERE IS NO WAY YOU COULD HAVE SURVIVED THAT!"

"You're late Swiss cheese! I thought I told you to be here at seven?"

"I am late because you had forgotten to tell my disciples to not cremate my body after you revived me!"

"I left a note!"

"If you did, it must have burned up along with the rest of my clothes as I awoke covered in flames! I only just found out about this meeting after spending all day trying to convince everyone I was not an undead!"

"I hear you loud and clear! I'll make sure to shove it up your ass next time you do a sleeping beauty! That way, it won't burn!"

"YOU LITTLE-!"

We were still in shock as we watched the formerly dead old man throttle the little weirdo who we all answer to.

"So, if you could all take your seats, we can begin the meeting for real!" The shrimp said after Liu accidentally snapped her neck.

"W-Well, we still need to go over the issue regarding the governmental structure, that is if we can even somehow make our people accept this new country!"

"No, not that! I'm talking about the reward for doing a good job!"

"What reward?"

"Hm? The bonus reward newbies get after completing their first job! What else?"

"Bonus?"

"Newbies?"

As everyone looked confusedly at her, she switched out her paper crown for a Santa hat as the old phantom thief himself dropped down from the ceiling with a bag in one hand and a saxophone in the other.

"HOHOHO! Here you go!" The jolly old man said as he threw the bag at the little weirdo.

"Deck the halls with stolen copies, falalala lala la la!♪"

She started mumbling her own version of 'Deck the Halls' while rummaging through the bag, before pulling out a wooden hairpin.

"Okay, as promised in our contract, Lin gets back his family heirloom, 'The Yggdrasil Hairpin'! Chou gets nothing since he left me hanging! Phasmophobia gets some more of my ghost repellent talisman for bullying his empire into going along with this alliance! Kai gets a month off from work to be with his wife, plus a baby making potion his wife asked for! Swiss cheese gets nothing because I already brought him back to life!" She said, referring to us by either our nations or her dumb nicknames.

"And for my Wabbit-in-law! Stick your hand in this bag please and pull out your gift!" She said, while holding the bag out to my disciple.

"Uh, okay! Huh? AAAAHHH!"

Fidgeting a bit uncomfortable, the little girl reached her hand into the bottom of the bag before pulling out an old man by the hair. She seemed terrified as she fell out of her chair in tears.

"Sakura? Where am I! Is this heaven?"

"D-D-Dad!"

"Your present is your old man, freshly risen from the dead!"

"Who are you? Where am-?"

*thud*

While the old man looked around the room in confusion, Sakura had gotten up from the floor and swiftly tackled the man to the ground with a hug before crying like a baby. She still looks kind of cute though.

"And as for my next trick I will pull a-!"

"Can you really revive the dead?" I cut her off as I needed to confirm something.

"More or less! You have someone in mind Kissy? Maybe of the feathery variety?"

"My master! Can you revive him?" I said as I grabbed her by the shoulder to stare this freak of nature in the eyes.

"Sowwy! No can do! I need a soul if I'm going to revive someone! So, unless you remembered to pickle that old ghost, then you're out of luck horse lady!"

*sigh*

I fell back in my chair feeling a little dejected for getting my hopes up like that. Once the core of a nascent soul shatters, their soul usually disappears somewhere. I seriously doubt those old fools would be dumb enough to let my master's core remain intact after death or he would have revealed them as traitors long ago.

"Why so glum chum? You're the employee of the month! Just make a wish and this tall and reliable boss will try to make it happen!"

"*Sigh* Can you give me some booze then? I feel lik-! CHICKEN!"

Suddenly remembering who pulled me out of my rut, I started screaming about Chicken, not caring about the weird looks I was getting from the other people in the room.

"Here is your booze! No refunds!"

*Smash*

"SCREW THE BOOZ! CAN YOU BRING BACK MY CHICKEN!" I screamed in her face after smacking the bottle of alcohol out of her hand.

"I just said no refunds!"

"BRING HIM BACK!" I screamed as I started shaking the little shit until she gave me what I wanted.

"Hm? Well, you are the employee of the month! Okay, one chicken slave coming right up!" She said as she pulled out a top hat and pulled a naked man out of it.

"Wait, what? Boss, I didn't agree with this! Where are my clothes?! That grandpa didn't come back naked, why did I? Hey, what the-?!"

As the dumbass started complaining to that shrimp I couldn't help from crying as I gave him a hug. I thought I lost him back then. My stupid, stupid chicken came back to me.

"I appreciate the tearful reunion, but I'm kind of naked here! So, could you let go of me?!"

"*Sob* Just shut up!" I said as I hugged him tighter.

"No, seriously! Let me put on some underwear at least! Hey, Boss why didn't you give me some clothes when you revived me! I know you can so don't pretend otherwise! Ugh! To! Tight! You're crushing me!" The chicken shouted as he tried to wiggle out of my embrace.

"Thomas Millard! You have been summoned to serve Xie Xiu from this day forward, now farewell heroes of the 1st continent!" She said in a grand tone before walking towards the exit.

"WAIT! WE STILL NEED TO DISCUSS WHAT TO DO ABOUT THE FUTURE OF THIS CONTINENT!"

"Oh, right!" She said as she pulled out a strange contraption that fired blue flame projectiles, hitting us square in the forehead.

*Bang*

Just as the blue flame touched my head the secrets of this world started flowing into my head.

"Just so you know, I'm putting all of you in charge of running this place! The info on how to make the merger happen is in your brains now! Also, the name is non-negotiable!"

"Would you let go already?!" I heard the chicken scream as I finally understood everything.

"HAHAHAHAHA!"

"N-No! Th-This cannot be!"

"It's impossible!"

"How can they!"

"We can't be!"

I started laughing as the others despaired at the bitter truth of our situation.

"Crap, she messed with your brains! Easy there Xiu, or you might kill me agai-! *Crack*" In my laughter I accidentally hugged the guy too hard and snapped one of his ribs.

"So, it's settled then! This will mark the start of the 'Puppy Era'!"

"WE DID NOT AGREE TO THAT!

"THE OTHER CONTINENTS WILL LAUGH AT US!"

"They will? Then I better go make sure they know not to mess with my pets! I'll leave the rest here to you guys! Farewell, brave heroes of the 1st martial continent!"

"*cough* DON'T YOU FAREWELL ME! GET HER OFF ME! OR MAKE ME SOME UNDERWEAR AT THE VERY LEAST! Ugh!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" I laughed, breaking several more ribs as I listened to my chicken scream at the poor little girl running to who knows where.

…

Soon after, the continent was unified under the oligarchic puppet nation of 'Puppy', all because one little girl couldn't be bothered to rule the world herself.