Chapter 19: Handholds

The climb down is fast.

Too fast.

My boot slips on a damp patch of stone, and my hand misses the next groove.

I fall the last eight feet and hit the ground hard.

My head cracks against the stone.

White flashes explode behind my eyes.

I groan, push up to my knees, and wipe the back of my head.

Wet.

Sticky.

Blood.

"Shit."

I look toward the corner.

Kai.

Still there.

Still breathing.

Barely.

I stumble over, nearly collapsing. Drop to my knees and cradle his face.

"Kai... hey. Hey—look at me."

Nothing.

His skin's cold. Lips pale. Breath so shallow it's barely there.

I dig into my coat, yank out the berries—fingers shaking—and try to press one to his mouth.

He doesn't move.

Doesn't chew.

Doesn't flinch.

He can't even eat.

Panic claws up my throat.

I can't do anything.

I'm nothing.

I don't know how to help him.

But he can't die down here.

Not like this.

I shove the panic down.

Lift him—arms weak, shoulder screaming, lungs burning.

I hoist him over my back like dead weight and stagger to the wall.

Thirty feet of jagged, wet stone.

No ropes. No strength.

But I don't have a choice.

I place a hand on the wall. Find a groove.

I climb.

One step.

Two.

Slip.

My foot skates out. My shoulder smashes the rock.

Again.

Again.

Each try takes more out of me.

I can't see.

I can't breathe.

But I keep going.

At last, I reach the top.

Fingers scrape dirt.

I drag us over the ledge—Kai still slung over my back.

But I'm done.

Vision narrowing.

Hands slipping.

The ground crumbles.

Is this it?

Is this all I amounted to?

I really am scum.

The edge crumbles beneath me. I

 slip—vision narrowing. I can feel myself fading.

I fall—

—but something catches me.

A hand.

Calloused. Strong.

Gil.

"I've got you."

Simple. Certain.

I blink up at him.

It's not a dream.

Not this time.

And I let go.

Not of the wall.

Of the weight.

Of the fear.

And the darkness doesn't follow.

There's no pain.

No voices.

Just… quiet.

Warm sheets. A creaking floor. Curtains fluttering.

I don't remember falling asleep. Only falling.

Now—

I wake.

Everything hurts.

But the pain feels distant. Dull.

Bandages wrap my chest.

There's a tube in my throat.

I gag. Rip it out.

Coughing.

Someone sighs across the room.

A paper rustles.

"Well. Good morning, sleeping beauty."

Gil. Relaxed. Like he's always belonged here.

 I blink at him.

"What... where am I? How long was I out—Kai. Where's Kai?!"

I try to stand.

Stumble.

The floor tilts.

Gil catches me with one arm.

"Whoa, slow down, kid. You were hurt pretty bad. You need to let yourself heal."

"You've been out four days. We're in Halveth. Some quiet clinic near the edge."

My chest tightens.

"Kai?"

He softens.

"Other room. Still unconscious, but stable. Fluids, vitals good. He's tough."

Relief crushes me.

I drop back onto the bed.

"We made it…"

My voice cracks.

"We lived…"

But I don't stay down.

I force myself up, every step a war, and look at Gil.

"Take me to him."

He doesn't argue.

Just nods.

We move through a hallway. Quiet. Dim.

The door creaks open.

And there he is.

Kai.

Still. Pale. Breathing.

Tubes in his arm. Machines ticking.

I cross the room in three steps and fall beside his bed.

I grip his hand. Small. Warm.

"Thank you," I whisper to Gil.

"For finding us… for not giving up."

I bow my head.

"I tried," I say, and my voice shatters.

"I really tried..."

Tears spill. I don't stop them.

Gil walks over and pulls me into a hug.

"You did good, kid."

"Lucky we got there when we did. Heard a roar and somehow, there you were."

I freeze.

Then melt.

Not into weakness—

Into safety.

I shake against him.

Grief, guilt, all of it.

Then—

A voice.

Soft.

"I… Mama's not here, is she?"

I turn.

Kai's awake.

I crawl over. Take his hand.

"…Kai."

He looks at me.

"She's with Daddy… right?"

I nod.

He already knows.

"I saw them in my dream," he says, voice quiet.

"Mama told me to be brave now."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," I whisper.

He shakes his head.

"It's okay," he says softly. "Mama said I gotta be brave now. So… I will."

He tries a smile.

"I wanna stay. So I can do lots of cool stuff and tell them later."

I bite my cheek to keep from crying again.

He turns to Gil.

"Thanks for saving me and my brother."

Gil smiles. "I made a promise. I keep mine."

I stare at Kai.

At how strong he is.

How strong I wasn't.

I turn toward Gil.

"Teach me how to be strong."

He blinks. "Where the hell did that come from?"

"I've lived in the slums my whole life. Lied. Stolen. Killed. Not out of strength. Out of fear."

He crosses his arms. "So why now?"

"Because I made a promise."

"To protect my light."

"And with it—I'll tear down the slums. I'll burn out the rot. I'll change the damn world."

Gil stares.

Then bursts out laughing.

"The world, huh?"

He shakes his head.

"You'll bleed. Crawl. Get up just to get knocked down again."

He leans in.

"You really think you can handle that?"

I don't blink.

"Where I'm from. That's called Monday. Bring it on."

He grins.

Claps my shoulder—gently.

"You've got yourself a deal."

He turns to the door.

"But no more of this mushy shit. Bad for my skin."