THE DAY I LOST MY VIRGINTY

One night, maybe 2 years in, she nudged me awake with a flashlight.

"Come on. We're going out."

I blinked.

"Are you insane? Where?"

She grinned wide, eyes sparkling.

"Out. Real air. Freedom, baby!"

"What if we get caught?" I whispered, heart already racing.

"Elle, we're eighteen! What's she gonna do...ground us?"

She laughed, tugging my arm.

"Live a little, would you? Come on!"

We snuck out through the laundry exit. She'd swiped keys from a staff member who always flirted too much and drank too fast. We ran barefoot through the grass, laughing like we hadn't been broken. Thankfully we weren't caught.

That night, we were crashing at a house party on the other side of the block. Jodie knew someone who knew someone.

From outside,the music was loud. You could see people grinding against each other, and there was smoke in the air that definitely wasn't just cigarettes.

"Jodie!" someone shouted, lifting her off the ground in a bear hug. He looked thrilled to see her, definitely a friend.

"What the hell, Dave?! Put me down now!" Jodie yelled, squirming in his arms, clearly not enjoying the surprise Superman routine.

"I've missed you, Koala," he grinned, finally setting her back on her feet.

Wait… Koala? I thought, blinking. Did I hear that right?

"Never do that again, Dave," she snapped, tugging at her rumpled hoodie, her glare sharp enough to slice.

"No, Koala… I've just really missed you. I couldn't help it," he said with a cheesy grin, pinching her cheeks. Total tease.

"Dave, I swear I'll kill you. Stop!" Jodie snapped, clearly not enjoying the attention.

She never really knew how to handle being teased and honestly, it was kind of cute.

"Alright, alright," he laughed, throwing his hands up in surrender.

"You're late though. What took you so long?" he asked, casually leaning against the doorframe.

"We had to sneak out, Dave. That takes time. Don't act like you don't know," Jodie said, rolling her eyes.

"Oh right, I forgot...you're still in foster," he teased, laughing.

"Bitch…" Jodie muttered under her breath.

Then he turned to me, eyes flicking over with interest.

"And who's this blondie?" he asked, hands in his pockets, clearly checking me out.

"She's my friend...Elle. Elle, this is David," Jodie said, introducing us.

"Hey, Blondie," he grinned. "Has anyone ever told you you've got really nice..."

"Okay, that's enough, Dave. We're going in," Jodie cut him off sharply.

Then we headed inside,

"He's a sick flirt, Jodie," she said, raising her voice just enough to be heard over the pounding music.

"Yeah, that was pretty obvious," I replied.

She grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the crowd.

The place was chaos...teenagers everywhere, dancing like the world was ending. A few were doing shots by the kitchen counter. Others were casually doing drugs like it was no big deal.

Halfway in, she suddenly stopped, eyes scanning the room for something....or someone. Then she turned to me and asked:

"You okay?" Jodie leaned in, her eyes glittering with excitement.

"I think I'm drunk from standing here," I muttered, staring at a guy doing shots off someone's stomach.

She laughed.

"Come on, loosen up. You look like someone's uptight aunt."

I rolled my eyes. "You're such a menace."

"Thank you," she said with a mock bow, then disappeared into the crowd.

I decided then that I hadn't come here to sit around and sulk.

So I headed straight for the table lined with shots. It was the kitchen , it was less noisy. I took a shot and "good God!!!!" whatever that was, it burned like hell going down. Bitter, sharp, and nothing like I expected.

Still, I tossed back another.

I was just reaching for a third when a voice behind me cut in.

"Girls aren't supposed to take more than two shots. You trying to be a man or something?"

The voice came from beside me...low, rich, and annoyingly smooth. But I was too focused on the burn in my throat to care.

"I'm building tolerance," I muttered, lifting another shot without sparing him a glance.

"Well, you shouldn't," he replied calmly. "You look like one more drink might knock you out cold, you look weak"

Rude.... I thought.

I exhaled sharply, finally setting the glass down.

"Wow. Thanks for the concern, str..."

And then I turned to face him.

The rest of my words died on my tongue.

This man...he was... beautiful. In a haunting, ruin-you kind of way. Tall, dangerous, cold, and infuriatingly smug. The type of man stories warn you about, the kind girls lose their minds and morals for.

His hoodie cast a shadow over part of his face, but not enough to hide the sharp jaw, the ink dark hair, or those eyes that looked like they'd seen far too much.

Whoever he was, he was art.

Dark, ruined, sinful art.

"Cat got your tongue, Blondie?" he asked, voice flat, unreadable.

I blinked. Still staring. Still not breathing.

"I....uhh..." I stammered, swallowing hard, not even sure what I was trying to say.

He didn't smirk. Didn't soften. He just stared back for a second longer, then turned and walked away like I hadn't existed.

And just like that, the air felt cold.

I kept staring at the space he disappeared into, like maybe he'd come back, like maybe I could make sense of him if I just looked long enough. My eyes found him again, slouched on a couch across the room, surrounded by people who looked just as cold and untouchable.

Then a girl...tall, sultry, and confident walked over and dropped herself onto his lap like she belonged there.

I looked away immediately, heart tight for reasons I didn't understand.

Before I could gather my thoughts, another voice broke through the haze.

"You don't look like you belong here," someone said beside me.

I turned, raising a brow.

"Is that a line?"

He grinned.

"Only if it's working."

Then he held out a hand. "Jake."

"Eleanor" I told him, I accepted his handshake, his fingers brushing mine a little longer than they should've.

"Wanna grab something to drink, Vodka??" he asked reaching out for a bottle on the counter.

"I'm not so sure, I took 3 shots and I still don't know what it was, I think tequila " I told him.

"Yeah you're right, it's tequila. Alright no Vodka, maybe a dance?",

He stretched out his palm, wearing the kind of smile that disarmed you before you realized.

Know I see him, this guy's cute. Not as cute and good looking as the Night angel I met earlier but....

Gosh I can't believe I'm already comparing. Jake was cute, he was charming but not as charming as the Night Angel.

I took his palm and we headed to the dance floor. We danced to a song Illusions by Dua lipa.

And when the music changed to something more sensual, he held me by my waist and I by his neck. We danced a little , and before I knew it he leaned in to kiss me , I didn't stop him.

When his lips finally touched mine, it was soft and tentative. He pulled back slightly, searching my eyes, making sure I was okay with it. I guess he saw all the permission he needed, because he leaned in again, deeper this time. His kiss grew firmer, more certain, and though I didn't kiss him back at first mostly because I didn't know how. He also didn't seem to mind.

He paused, then took my hand and led me through the crowd, to the back balcony. The cold air hit us, but his mouth was already back on mine before I could say a word. He kissed me like he hadn't done it in years...urgent, hungry, as if this was the only thing that mattered. Then he gently laid me down on the old couch out there, his hands on either side of me.

"You good with this?" he asked, pulling off his shirt, eyes locked on mine as his fingers found the hem of mine.

I nodded...quietly, surely...and let him lift it over my head.

"Damn..." he murmured, gaze trailing down with an almost reverent hunger. "Who would've thought all that sweetness was hiding under that shirt?"

He looked at me like I was something worth worshiping...and for a moment, i believed it.

In one smooth motion, he unhooked my bra and slid it aside. His mouth was on me instantly, lips warm and hungry against my skin.

"Oh my..." I breathed out, barely above a whisper.

He didn't stop. His tongue flicked over my nipple before he gently bit down, making my body jolt in ways I didn't expect. My thoughts scattered. Whatever reasoning I had left was melting under his touch. I loved the way he devoured me. Like I was something he couldn't get enough of.

"I'm going to fuck you right here, Eleanor," he groaned against my skin, still working my breasts with an intensity that made me ache.

Then he pulled back, rising to his feet. I followed his movements with hazy eyes until I saw him undoing his belt, slow and deliberate.

"Jake, wait..." I said, sitting up slightly. "I've... never done this before."

He froze. Looked at me...really looked this time.

"Wait, seriously?" he asked, brows raised, clearly caught off guard.

"Yeah," I admitted, heart thudding.

A crooked smile curved his lips as he stepped out of his pants.

"That makes it better, then."

He leaned in again, voice softer now. "Don't worry, I'll be gentle. It won't hurt. I promise."

"You sure?" I whispered against his lips

He nodded,

"Yeah."

He lined himself up and eased into me, slow...almost too slow. My fingers clutched the edge of the couch. It hurt a little, but it wasn't unbearable. His hand found mine, lacing our fingers together as he began to move.

"You're doing good," he murmured.

There was warmth in his voice...soft encouragement, steady rhythm. I almost believed it meant something. I thought: maybe this won't be so bad.

But then something shifted.

His grip on my hand tightened. His thrusts deepened, harder now, faster, as though the gentle part had only been an act. Like he'd been holding back and finally decided not to.

That's when everything changed.

"Jake, wait... just… not so deep," I breathed, gripping his arm as his thrusts grew rougher.

He didn't answer. Just groaned low in my ear, like he didn't even hear me or didn't care to.

"Jake...Please..."

"You're doing fine, Eleanor," he muttered, his voice thick with need as he held me tighter and kept going. His pace didn't change. If anything, it got rougher.

I bit my lip, trying not to cry out too loud. My body burned, not just from the pain but from the realization that I'd lost control of this moment.

And then… it was over.

He pulled back, breathing hard, and for a second I thought he'd say something real. Something that might make it feel less empty.

But all he did was sit up, tug his shirt over his head, and mumble:

"Okay, that was really nice, Eleanor."

I stared at him, still half-naked, my chest rising and falling fast.

He didn't look at me. Just buckled his belt, ran a hand through his hair like he'd just had a casual stretch, and walked back into the party.

Left me there.

Alone.

Cold night air brushing over my skin like a slap.