Valentine

John, Davey, and the others were cooking up a storm, and by "storm," I mean their operations were chugging along like a runaway train. Meanwhile, Dutch's Valentine clothing store was about to throw open its doors, ready to unleash a fashion frenzy on the unsuspecting town.

After a full day of frantic decorating, the Valentine clothing store was so decked out it practically sparkled. Red roses, the size of dinner plates, were plastered on the signboard, practically screaming, "Come hither, fashionistas!" And inside? Bouquets of fresh flowers exploded from every vase, making the place look less like a store and more like a floral explosion. It was so exquisite, you'd half expect a cherub to float down and hand you a discount coupon.

Early the next morning, the Van der Linde Gang rolled into Valentine in their carriage, looking like they owned the joint (and, let's be honest, they practically did).

"Oh, Mr. Callahan! Respected Mr. Callahan! Come, sir, Jack, help Mr. Callahan tie up the horses!" Sheriff Malloy, who had apparently been camped out at the intersection since dawn, practically pole-vaulted towards them, his face a contorted mask of fawning respect and barely contained hysteria. He was shaking like a chihuahua in a snowstorm, eyes bugging out of his head.

And why shouldn't he be? The man was practically vibrating with excitement! He'd never, in his wildest dreams, imagined Mr. Callahan would actually deliver on his promise to bring those high-society, Senator's wives from Saint Denis for the ribbon-cutting.

Malloy had woken up at five AM, probably ironed his socks, showered, shaved, sculpted his hair into a gravity-defying masterpiece, and even donned the brand-spanking-new, never-before-worn police uniform the Van der Linde Gang had so generously "provided." Today, he felt like the dazzling star of the Valentine show, radiating a glow that could rival a supernova.

"Hoo hoo hoo, you are too kind, Sheriff," Dutch purred, stepping forward to shake Malloy's hand, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. "You are truly a paragon of leadership, a guiding light for the good people of Valentine! Why, I have no doubt those Senator's wives will be positively swooning at the sight of such a responsible and outstanding Sheriff! Oh, my goodness, Sheriff," Dutch leaned in conspiratorially, sniffing the air with an exaggerated flourish, "did you even spritz yourself with perfume? How exquisite!"

Malloy practically levitated with pleasure, preening like a peacock. "This is all as it should be, Mr. Callahan," he stammered, a humble (but utterly fake) smile plastered on his face. "I just pray the Senator's wives don't find my… enthusiasm… to be improper!"

"You fret too much, Sheriff," Dutch chuckled, giving Malloy a reassuring pat on the shoulder. "I'm certain those ladies will be utterly charmed by your proper demeanor! All right, sir, I believe we should head to the station to greet our esteemed guests. Their chariot of steel should be gracing us with its presence any moment now." Dutch then shot a subtle glance at Arthur, who was standing nearby, looking as stoic as a statue.

"Gentlemen, you can bring the carriage over." Arthur, ever the man of few words but profound understanding, immediately signaled to the opulent carriage waiting patiently. This wasn't just any carriage; it was a specially hired behemoth, because, let's face it, Valentine's streets were more like a muddy obstacle course than a paved paradise, especially for ladies in delicate dresses. Even if the main thoroughfares weren't exactly swimming in horse droppings, the sheer mud was a shoe-destroying nightmare.

As the luxurious carriage pulled up, Malloy, puffed up like a proud pigeon, mounted his horse, followed by ten police officers who formed a protective cocoon around the carriage, front and back.

"Mr. Callahan, esteemed sir, allow us the honor of escorting you! Hya!" Sheriff Malloy, stiff as a board, saluted with a flourish, five officers leading the charge, five bringing up the rear. The formation was so imposing, it practically screamed, "We mean business (and we're hoping for a promotion)!" He was convinced this grand spectacle would utterly dazzle the Saint Denis ladies, and a little word from Dutch certainly wouldn't hurt.

The carriage stopped strategically by the train exit, a red carpet (metaphorically speaking) for the disembarking divas. To maximize the razzle-dazzle, Sheriff Malloy even ordered his ten officers to fan out on horseback along the carriage's sides, creating a truly majestic, if slightly over-the-top, escort. And honestly, the ten officers, gleaming in their new Van der Linde-provided uniforms atop their towering horses, did look rather impressive, sparking whispers and pointing fingers from curious passersby.

Time ticked by, a slow, agonizing crawl of ten minutes, until finally, the distant wail of a train whistle pierced the air. "Choo choo choo…" With a dramatic plume of thick black smoke, the luxurious passenger train lumbered to a halt in front of the Valentine Post Office.

Dutch, flanked by Hosea, Arthur, and the ever-watchful Ms. O'Shea, was already trackside. He spotted Dorothea, Ann, and Ms. Alice inside, their faces pressed to the windows, already captivated by the eye-catching carriage formation before the train had even fully stopped.

"Hoo hoo hoo, Dorothea, Ms. Ann, and dear Ms. Alice, long time no see! Welcome to Valentine!" Dutch practically beamed, stepping forward to greet the three ladies as they gracefully descended from the train, trailed by five rather large, rather serious-looking bodyguards.

Ms. Ann, a vision of vibrant energy, practically floated off the train. With a mischievous glint in her eye, she pushed past Dutch's outstretched hand and, with a delighted squeal, threw her arms around him, squeezing him in a rather enthusiastic embrace.

"Damn it, Callahan!" she practically purred, her voice a low growl of mock indignation. "I've given you three chances, and you've refused me three times! Am I really that unattractive?"

Dutch, feeling the warmth of Ann's embrace on his cheek and the ice-cold glare of Ms. O'Shea boring into the back of his head, somehow managed to maintain his perfect, unblemished smile. "I'm so terribly sorry, Ms. Ann," he cooed apologetically, "you know, I've been utterly swamped lately. Not only does the Saint Denis clothing store demand my meticulous attention, but those other three clothing stores…"

"Don't you dare try to bamboozle me with your clumsy excuses, Mr. Callahan," Ann interrupted, pulling back slightly, her expression a playful pout. "I'm telling you, you've truly broken my heart!"

But Dutch, ever the master of deflection, gently disentangled himself from her embrace and turned to Dorothea and Ms. Alice, who had now joined them.

"Well, my three dear ladies, thank you so very much for undertaking such a journey to grace us with your presence. Oh, by the way, this distinguished gentleman beside me is my dear friend, Mr. Curtis Malloy, the esteemed Sheriff of Valentine. He is truly an exceptional Sheriff. Just look at the impeccable posture and imposing presence of these officers! Indeed, the tranquil atmosphere that Valentine enjoys today is entirely thanks to Mr. Malloy's unparalleled leadership, and, of course, the indispensable cooperation of all his dedicated officers."

Dutch was a man of his word, and he never forgot a promise. Every grand pronouncement he'd made to Sheriff Malloy, every inflated compliment, he'd deliver on. This wasn't just about a simple Sheriff; it was about building a reputation, a legend. If word got out that Mr. Dutch was a man of unwavering integrity, a beacon of honesty and loyalty, that reputation alone would be worth a king's ransom. People would flock to him, eager to invest in his grand schemes, trusting his every word.

At that very moment, basking in Dutch's gushing praise, Sheriff Malloy's heart was doing an ecstatic little jig.

Shit! Oh, shit! he thought, practically swooning. Mr. Callahan is a saint! Damn it, just listen to his praise, look at his masterful way with people! My goodness, Mr. Callahan is simply the most honorable man in the entire world!