Chapter 8: Smiles Are Sometimes Armor

The day had settled into a golden afternoon.

After lectures were over, Ishika, Mayuri, Omkar, and Anushka gathered at their usual spot in the Civil Engineering block — a shaded bench beneath a neem tree, where laughter and inside jokes usually lived. It had become a known truth in the college — where one is, the others will follow. Even their professors chuckled about it.

But today, something felt off.

Ishika was laughing when they laughed. Nodding when they spoke. But not really there.

Omkar noticed first.

He stared at her for a moment, then said,

"Ishika, what's going on with you?"

She looked up, startled.

"Nothing," she replied, brushing off the concern with a small smile.

But Omkar didn't back off.

"Don't lie to me. I've seen it for weeks. You're with us, but… you're not. It's like you're sitting here physically, but your soul is somewhere else."

His words touched something raw inside her. She looked away, the weight of her silence suddenly heavier.

She gave a small chuckle, forced and empty.

"I'm like this only. Quiet. It's nothing."

But inside, a storm raged.

There was so much she could have said.So many unspoken wounds.But how could she?

Because the last time she opened up…It broke her.

She remembered the day clearly — a regular college day turned into an unexpected scar.

Her friend Pooja, someone she once trusted, someone who once sat beside her eating chips and sharing notes, had looked her in the eye and said:

"I don't know why, but you give off… negative vibes. Being around you feels heavy."

That single sentence shattered something in her.

It wasn't anger she felt. It was grief. Deep, aching grief.

How would anyone feel if their own close friend said that?

That day, after hearing those words, Ishika boarded the bus like usual. But instead of sitting with anyone, she curled into a seat by the window, pulled her bag to her chest, and let the tears fall silently.

Nobody noticed.Nobody asked.

And for the first time, the lyrics of BTS songs—songs she had always loved—hit her with their real meaning. The loneliness. The weight of being misunderstood. The ache of smiling for others when your heart is falling apart.

She cried quietly, hiding her face behind her hand. Behind her glasses. Behind the mask she'd learned to wear too well.

That night, when she couldn't hold the pain anymore, she did what she always did when words failed —She wrote a poem.

Its title?"Let's Not Be Friends Anymore."

And it went like this:

Let's Not Be Friends Anymore

by Ishika

Seriously, what is this situation?Because what's left is emotion,What I get is always blame,And you don't even feel any shame.

I am the one who always apologizes,And can't even expect any psychologies,You said I have so much ego,And a small voice came and said let her go.

What is precious; self-love, self-respect?And I can't act like your words don't affect,Because now this connection is toxic,And it feels like I am getting endotoxin.

I'll not break off our 'friendship bond,'But now there'll be no 'friendship band,'I tried my best to understandBecause I thought you misunderstand.

Once, you used to be a caring fragment,But now selfishness is your enjoyment,So, let's not get anymore attachmentBecause it's best to have detachment.

She never showed it to anyone.Not even Mayuri. Not even Omkar.But today, with his gentle question and quiet eyes,She almost wished she could.

Back on the bench, Omkar kept looking at her.

She didn't say any of this.She didn't tell him about Pooja, the tears on the bus, or the poem.But her silence must've spoken something, because he didn't press further.

He just said softly,

"You know, you don't always have to smile."

Ishika smiled anyway.And this time, it wasn't armor.It was gratitude.