Ch. 16 It's all my fault

"She is dead..." Ray's voice was a raw, broken whisper, thick with emotion, yet tears streamed uncontrollably from his eyes.

"Aya, please say, 'You are lying!'" he pleaded, his voice rising to a desperate shout. "Please, Aya, please!"

Aya remained on her knees, her head bowed low, facing the floor. Tears dropped continuously, forming dark, spreading stains on the polished surface.

"I... I am afraid," Aya sobbed, her voice trembling. "I'm not lying."

Ray's eyes widened, the tears still flowing, a relentless cascade.

"Why?" he choked out. "Why did she have to die? She... she's the only one I have in this world." Ray paused, still sobbing, continuously wiping tears from his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Her Dad was right," he whispered, the words a self-inflicted wound. "It's all my fault. What he was saying was right... was right... was right, was right, right, right, right, he was right!"

With this, he pushed himself up onto his knees on the floor. Aya slowly stood, wiping her own tears, her face clearly showing the effort to stop crying.

"Forgive me," Aya said, her eyes still brimming with tears. "I came here to tell you this. I... I got emotional."

Ray slowly raised his head, his tear-streaked face turning to look at her.

Aya turned to leave the room, moving towards the door. But before she exited, she turned back to Ray and spoke.

"I... I should not say this, no! I don't even have the authority to say anything to an Aetheris Clan guest," she began, her voice cracking with emotion, "but you must know this: it's your fault!"

With these words, her previously stopped tears began to flow again, freely.

"Also, I don't know if anyone else will think of this as your fault," she added bitterly, "but... but I always will! I will never forgive you for this...!"

She roughly cleared her face, wiping away the tears, forcing herself to stop them from coming out of her eyes.

"Again, forgive me for this!"

With these final words, she slammed the door shut with all her force, leaving the room. Ray's eyes remained wide, his mind unable to process her words. His tears stopped flowing, as if they were sealed by the immense guilt Aya had bestowed upon him.

After a long, agonizing silence, his mind finally processed her words, understanding the sin he had committed, whether directly or, perhaps, indirectly. He fully comprehended his guilt.

Ray's eyes were more than a little red, and his cheeks were slightly flushed, showing the after-effects of continuously trying to clear tears with his hands.

"I... I have to fix what I have messed up. I no longer have any reason or authority to live here. I have to go to the battlefield."

Ray was not speaking from his mind; he was speaking from his heart. Just a few words of Aya had left a very dark and powerful curse mark, deep inside his heart, a mark of guilt and sin. Because of this, he forgot his limitations—what he could do and what he couldn't.

His brain was too focused on this curse mark, preventing his mind from considering any of the problems he would face on this path. How will he go there? How will he do that? Can he fight? All these questions, all the "hows," were seemingly erased for this period of time.

Usually, he should not think too much about this, but God knows why he was taking this thing as important as his life, or perhaps even greater, to even contemplate going to the battlefield with zero skills and powers.

Suddenly, Ray stood up, his legs trembling slightly. The sound of every single heartbeat seemed to echo not only inside his body but also outside it.

"I can't run from this..." Ray muttered aloud.

Ray, why are you taking this so seriously...? a thought flickered in his mind.

"I have to go..." he insisted, ignoring the internal voice.

She's only a pretty girl you met one day ago, just nothing more! the thought persisted.

"No!" Ray shouted, slapping himself hard on the cheek. "It's not true! She is much more than 'more' for me!"

A few tears started to fall again.

"In fact..." he continued, his voice breaking, "She was the only one I saw to be too kind to me. She was helping me. Will I give this in return for her kindness? She could have left me there, alone to die, but she wasn't like others, or maybe like me. She helped me. She showed me the way to get out of that beach, even... in fact, she gave me a place in her home, even when it was not necessary to keep a 'lower' like me near an angel like her! But she wasn't like me!" He began to cry openly.

His mind and heart were fighting like ancient enemies, his words and thoughts in stark contradiction. But once again, after this emotional turmoil, he cleared the tears from his face.

"Ray," he muttered to himself, rushing towards the door to exit in a hurry, "when did you become this cruel and mean, or were you like this from the start, just didn't get a chance to show it in your past life? You have to pay her for her kindness! You must!"

He was running, descending stairs, going to lower floors one by one... until he reached the main door, used for entry and exit. Without a single glitch in his speed, he burst out of the castle, not even turning back to see it one last time. He continued to run, run, and at some distance from the castle, where carriages were waiting, he fell, dragging on the ground, stopping near a carriage. The carriage looked like it was preparing to depart. Ray stood, without bothering to clear the dust from his clothes, and reached the coachman of the carriage.

"Hey, can you take me to where the battle is happening, please?" he gasped, his voice hoarse. "I will give you anything I have, just take me there!"

"Who... who are you?" the coachman asked, his voice wary. "Why are you in such a hurry to go to that hell?"

"I don't have time!" Ray shouted. "Just take me there! I have a very, very important thing to do there! Please, take me!"

"Sorry, Mister," the coachman replied, his face grim. "I just came from that hell, saving my life from those Curseumans, and now I want to meet my family..."

"Please, please!" Ray interrupted, tears slowly starting to fall again. "I will do anything for you! I can't do much, but I can live my life becoming your slave! I will... just take me there!"

The coachman raised his hand, waving it in the air to signal 'no' as he spoke. "No, don't say that..."

"Please, I am becoming late, please take me there!" Ray cried.

"Okay... okay!" the coachman conceded, a sigh of weary resignation escaping him. "I will take you there, but stop what you are doing.

It seems like you have lost something very important to you there... I have seen many..."

Ray interrupted again, scrambling into the carriage. "Don't waste time, take me there immediately!"

I have to go there as fast as I can, Ray thought. I am not sure if I will get to see her!

The coachman turned his face towards the front of the carriage, gripping the reins and urging the beasts to full speed. He spoke to Ray: "Gentleman, hold yourself for a moment. You will not know, and you'll be already arrived at your destiny. You are traveling in the fastest carriage of the Aetheris Clan, with the smartest Coachman here!"

With these words, the beasts surged forward at full speed. Ray held tight to the support attached to the seat, his knuckles white, while the coachman's eyes remained focused straight ahead.

After about half an hour, the coachman spoke again, his voice serious, his gaze still fixed forward. "Remember, I can only take you to there. I will not stay there any second longer after leaving you at the battlefield. I don't want to be dead. I am taking you there because I have felt the same way you are feeling now, at a time in my own life..."