2
Back in the room, my son was awakened by my movements and rubbed his eyes.
Looking at his face, which seemed carved from the same mold as Zhou Zian's, my heart twisted with pain.
As a father, how could Zhou Zian bear to let him carry the label of being fatherless at such a young age?
Seeing my barely concealed sadness, my son's face was filled with concern:
"Mom, is it that Dad is pretending not to know you again?"
My heart jolted, and I suddenly remembered how, after Zhou Zian appeared under the name Zhou Ziping, my son kept calling him dad. At that time, I always stopped him, telling him that wasn't his dad, but his uncle.
I thought it was just a child's longing for his father, unable to tell apart the uncle who looked exactly like him, but I didn't realize how absurdly wrong I was.
It turned out that a child's eyes are always clear; he could always recognize his real dad, but he didn't understand why overnight his dad wouldn't acknowledge him.
No wonder, no wonder "Zhou Ziping" was so good to me and my son, always bringing something for my son no matter what he bought, caring and asking about him, occasionally giving us meat and groceries, quietly helping us out, yet becoming strict every time my son called him dad, quickly correcting him.
Everyone said that to be an uncle to this extent, there was nothing to criticize; even a birth father could rarely do the same.
Before knowing the truth, I was always grateful to this uncle, keeping these favors in mind, always thinking to repay them in the future.
But now knowing the truth, everything was so ironic.
He is my son's biological father; isn't it a given that he should treat his son well? Does he not feel guilty about doing all these things?
I couldn't hide the bitterness welling up inside me, never realizing so clearly that the Zhou Zian I knew was already dead.
He had buried himself with his own hands.
And I had mourned for him for three years; this relationship, too, is over.
Once I calmed down, I looked at my son seriously and asked him if he would be willing if Mom remarried someone else and found him a new dad.
"Mom, I don't know why Dad won't acknowledge me, but since you don't want him, then I don't want him either. Wherever you go, Lele will go with you. If Dad won't protect you, Lele will protect you in the future!"
Feeling my sorrow, Lele hugged me tightly, his small hands patting my back repeatedly, comforting me.
In that instant, tears burst from my eyes uncontrollably.
"Okay!"
I held my son tightly, then made a call to my parents.
The call was connected, but before I could say anything, my parents' usual heartfelt nagging hit me first:
"Xiao Ran, ever since Zhou Zian passed away, Jiang Jinghuai has come several times to propose. You've known him since you were young, he's reliable, plus he's now a chief. Why are you so stubborn, not agreeing to remarry..."
I interrupted directly, "Mom and Dad, I've thought it through, I agree to remarry."
There was a five-second silence on the other end, then a burst of joy and disbelief.
"Are you serious? That's great! It's good that you've thought it through, so we'll hurry and start planning the wedding for you! Don't worry, Jiang Jinghuai has promised mom and dad many times that once you marry him, he will treat Lele as his own son, and as for you, you can just enjoy your life."
Even over the phone, I could feel my parents' excitement. They had worried a lot about my issues over the past three years, but because of Zhou Zian, I had let them down time and again.
But now, not anymore.