Chapter 3: Damsel in Distress

After their drinking some fine mush wine together all day long, Henry said it was not enough, so they decided to go to a pub in the center of Labeso County.

They walk toward the Hyena Pub, a known local pub.

They drink countless drinks, from small wines to huge beers.

The mood of the pub is breathtaking, full of folks with smiles and joy on their faces.

This pub is Henry's number one favorite spot. Since he was 10 years old. While he couldn't drink because he was still young. The reason he liked to be there is because the folks were too drunk to care about him

Other than Gobber and the owner, Miss Hyena, there is no one else who knows Henry as the Bornloser and the third young master of the county.

While having a good time, some old folks were talking to each other. They were talking about how the third child and only daughter of the emperor will be visiting the county tomorrow. 

The rumor was that the child had hair as white as a dove, a beauty that is one in a million, skin as smooth as marble, and eyes as white as the snow. But she was blind since her birth. Different rumors keep appearing one after another. Some say she was cursed by her own brother. Others have said the empire is faking that she is truly blind. 

A drunk man laughed and said, "Maybe she was originally a boy, but the emperor wants a daughter."

Miss Hyena heard this and knocked his head hard. "Don't be an idiot. There is no way she's a boy."... A second later, Miss Hyena said, "I heard she was a half-elf. That explains her one-in-a-million beauty." While feeling proud of her rumor, the folks clapped their hands, even the one who was on the floor from her punch.

Henry, hearing this, proudly said, Well, maybe we're alike, a loser to our own family

Gobber replied and said, Naah, you're too ugly to be compared to her," while sipping a drink.

Everyone laughs as Henry chokes Gobber's throat.

A few hours later, Henry left to go home, forgetting that Gobber was asleep on the floor.

While walking on the empty, dim street, Henry got the urge to pee. He sees an alleyway and tries to piss there. 

While taking a piss, he feels something is beside him. He slowly looks at his left side while his snake is still ejecting a yellow venom. 

He sees a beautiful young lady tucked beside a barrel, arms wrapped around her knees, looking at a wall. She didn't even notice someone was pissing right beside her. 

Henry saw her while still pissing. He thought to himself, "I feel like I know her." He looked at her and saw hair as white as a dove, a beauty that is one in a million, skin as smooth as marble, and eyes as white as the snow.

He thought to himself, "Can't be right, righttt..." He tried to walk away like a robot, saying to himself she isn't the princess. when the girl said. "Who goes there?" Confused and afraid, Henry, hearing this, instinctively turned around to help her.

Author: Simp.

Novel: ...do you want him to save her or not?

Author: He tried to walk away. How is that heroic like?

Novel: ...you made him.

Author: ....

Henry tried to clarify if she really is the princess. When an empire seal falls out, it indicates royal blood.

"Yeah, that clarifies it," he thought to himself, still hoping she isn't. when suddenly he realizes that, "Isn't this a classic damsel in distress?" feeling more motivated.

Henry: Are you alrigh..."

Henry's words were interrupted! When the princess, proudly but slightly afraid, said, "You, whoever you are, help me get to the Baron House, and my family will reward you greatly," Henry was silent for seconds. His mind was thinking.

"A boy????"

The princess's voice was like a little boy talking, and while her beauty is one in a million, her voice was boyish.

Henry hesitantly and awkwardly asks the princess, or perhaps prince, "May I ask, do you perhaps have a stick?" The girl was confused, "What?" confused about what he was asking.

Henry: Mushroom? Do you have the royal sword or dagger? Perhaps, does it swing?

The girl was super confused at what Henry was saying when Henry boldly asked his last question, "Do you sit or stand when you pee?" The princess, understanding the question, blushed and swirled his hand, I mean her hand, and said, "Pervert, I'm a girl!" 

"Help, there is a pervert I can't see."

The girl was shouting loud when suddenly an assassin that was hunting her showed up, jumping down from the roof.

The assassin was wearing a full black suit, holding a sword covered in blood, and a mask covering his upper face that resembles a crow.

Henry, facing backward from the assassin, wears a mask to conceal his face.

The assassin was pissed. "So this is where you were cowering at?"

He pointed the sword at her. "Give up and make this easy for yourself. I promised I will end it fast." 

Henry raised his hand slightly, stepping in front of her, and replied to him, "Is that what you tell your wife?"

The assassin, hearing this, flicked his hand, pointing at Henry, releasing a powerful compressed air bullet. Henry got directly shot in the chest. He fell down to his knees, and his head was on the ground.

The assassin walks right past him, ready to swing his sword at the princess's neck, when suddenly... Crack.

Henry was faking his death. His clothed upper part was destroyed, but the inside shows a tough but light thread vest (technically a Kevlar with a metal plate on the inside, a typical military vest). It protects him from the compressed air bullet.

When the assassin was carelessly passing through Henry without knowing he was still alive. Henry, acting dead, pulled out a brass knuckle with spikes and a retractable knife. Once Henry knows the assassin passed through him, he puts on the brass knuckle and retracts the knife. 

He punches the man's family jewel and stabs it with a knife.

"How are you alive?" the assassin said while holding his bleeding precious jewel. Henry replied and said a hero always wears his uniform. 

"You pissed off sh***t."

He pulled the girl's hand and ran away toward the street.

The man, still badly hurt, followed them while holding his cracked egg. 

The princess asks, "What did you do?" terrified but grateful for Henry.

Henry: It's best for the both of us if you don't ask.

While running, the princess saw four other men on the rooftop following them. She told Henry what she saw. "Four other people are following us." Henry was confused. "I thought you were blind?"

Princess: Don't mind that. How can we get to the baron's mansion fast? (Feeling worried and afraid)

Henry replied to the princess and said, "Ohhhh, we're not going to them, they're going to us," while feeling certain about his word. 

Henry always carries three things if he isn't playing a wannabe hero: first, his strong fabric vest to protect him. Second, a concealed weapon for defense. And lastly, a screaming mushroom that can record sounds called MushDial.

Henry pulled his invention, pulled the pin, and threw it in the air. A brownish mushroom pop with musical-note-like eyes and a brown cap that resembles a trumpet. It shouted the word loudly.

MushDial: The young master Joshua is running in the street naked, naked, nakeeee...d.

The people began to step out of their houses. The women were delighted, and the men were ready, I mean, the men were angry.