Chapter THIRTY-ONE

I had to look away. Marat must have felt something similar, because he cleared his throat. A sign he was uncomfortable. The arm he had around my shoulders loosened, and I couldn’t help despair from filling me.

Awareness was a cruel bitch sometimes. Crushing dreams and bulldozing hope. It slapped me in the face, hard, just then, and I felt the sting all the way to my marrow.

I will never have what they have.

“Excuse me,” I said, standing up.

“Dumplin’, are you okay?” Marat asked, sounding concerned.

“Yes. Sorry, I just need the restroom.”

“It’s on the way to the nursery. Come on.”

Sofia offered to show me, and I waved away Marat’s offer to accompany me. I didn’t need a babysitter. I could pee and find my way back to the party just fine on my own.

Fuck.

I liked to pride myself on being secure in my own skin. But right then, nothing felt right. Not my clothes or my shoes or my hair. Not the heavy sapphire on my finger. Or the ornate house and grounds around me.