Chapter 58: System Commentary: You’re Screwed, Bro.

[System Update: Generating Post-Honeymoon Emotional Damage Report…]

[Estimated Mental Stability: 12%. Estimated Physical Integrity: 31%. Estimated Dignity: "404 Not Found."]

Rei laid flat on the cool, cold, blessedly normal marble of his bedroom floor, like a man who had survived five plane crashes, three volcanoes, and one particularly clingy demonic time-loop. Because, unfortunately, he had.

The tiles beneath him were pristine, polished to a high shine. He could see his own reflection staring back—tired, tousled, and mildly haunted. His hair had acquired new cowlicks from trauma alone.

He blinked at the ceiling like it might start speaking to him.

"System," he croaked. "Are you there?"

[Hello again, Host.]

[Welcome to your Post-Honeymoon Evaluation: Official Emotional Recovery Commentary.]

[Subtitle: "You're Screwed, Bro."]

"…Can I opt out?"

[You signed a non-negotiable soul contract. Also, no.]