The Weight of Clarity
The presence hadn't left.
Even when I walked through crowds, sat in class, or trained until sweat soaked the floor —
I could still feel Him.
The white silhouette — high above — watching. Waiting.
And strangely…
I had begun to accept it.
---
College wasn't a battlefield.
It was something worse.
A slow grind.
Noisy hallways, tighter deadlines, relentless lectures.
Formulas stacked like bricks. Essays bled expectations.
But I didn't flinch.
I had survived far worse — mentally, emotionally, spiritually.
While others were breaking, I was being sharpened.
And that's when I started to notice...
One by one, they cracked.
The first internal exam came.
When the results were posted, the hallway turned into a graveyard.
Whispers. Tension. Panic.
Almost 70% had failed at least one subject.
Some cried. Some laughed too loudly. Some stared at the wall like it had answers.
Even the loud ones — the gym bros, the flirters, the class clowns — were suddenly silent.
They blamed the teachers.
They blamed the questions.
They blamed bad luck.
But I didn't.
Because deep down… they were never taught to endure.
---
Then came the breakups.
Girls who once swore "forever" vanished overnight.
Chats turned dry. Affection faded like ink in rain.
Boys who bragged about "not catching feelings"?
They now walked like ghosts — sunken eyes, fake smiles, dragging their shadows behind them.
Some even talked to me — strangers, really.
Telling me how love had wrecked them. Like heartbreak was a fever they couldn't sweat out.
And I listened. I truly did.
But inside?
I couldn't relate.
Not because I was cold.
But because I never bet my soul on something so fragile.
---
Back home, the chaos wasn't much different.
My parents argued more.
Not wars, just small, constant explosions — over money, decisions, misunderstandings.
The kind that makes the air feel heavier than silence.
My older brothers?
One was drowning in rejection letters and unrealized dreams.
The other hid behind laughter — jokes, memes, distractions. But I saw the fatigue.
I wanted to fix it.
I offered advice, support, silent prayers.
But some storms… you can't stop for others.
They have to walk through the rain, like I did.
---
And me?
I was peaking.
My body grew stronger with each rep, each drop of sweat.
My mind — sharp, organized, like a soldier's field notes.
And my soul? Anchored. Steady. Aligned with something greater.
I prayed daily — not from fear, but purpose.
I fasted, trained, read, reflected. I bled for no one but God.
Teachers noticed.
The ones who once forgot my name now called on me.
Some gave nods of respect. Others just watched quietly.
But I saw it.
They saw something in me.
---
And yet…
In the stillness of night —
when the lights are off and the world forgets your name —
I feel it.
A ripple.
Behind the clarity, beneath the peace…
A whisper.
Like something's approaching.
A truth I haven't uncovered yet.
A shadow behind the silhouette.
And whatever it is…
It's getting closer.