Kids Tell the Ugly Truth
Kids Tell the Ugly Truth
Chapter Two: "What's That Smell?"
Preface
Adults spend a lot of time pretending they don't notice weird smells. They spray air freshener like it's magic and hope no one asks questions. But kids? Kids call out the stinky truth with zero filter. Tonight, we're diving nose-first into the mystery of "What's that smell?"—because sometimes the ugliest truth is right under your nose. Inspired by Cards Against Humanity's cheeky style, we're asking kids to sniff out the real deal, with Tiffany Haddish guiding the way.
Show Introduction
[Playful, funky music. The set is decked out with giant noses, cartoon stink clouds, and a spinning wheel labeled "Government, Humanity, Cartel, Karen/Kevin, John, Michael, Wildcard." A "Truth-O-Meter" shaped like a giant nose wiggles on the side.]
Tiffany Haddish (strutting on stage, holding her nose dramatically):
"Welcome back to 'Kids Tell the Ugly Truth,' where grownup problems get served with a side of kid honesty—and sometimes a big whiff of nonsense. I'm Tiffany Haddish, your guide through the stinky, weird, and downright hilarious moments adults try to ignore. Tonight's question: 'What's that smell?' Is it mystery meat? A science experiment gone wrong? Or just Uncle Larry's secret weapon? Kids, I want to know—how do adults say we're supposed to handle it, what do they actually do, and what would YOU do if you were the boss of the nose? Let's spin that wheel and find out!"
[Kids giggle, one pretends to faint from the smell.]
Scenario 2: What's That Smell?
Tiffany:
"Alright, picture this: You walk into a room and BAM! Something smells like a dumpster had a party with a skunk and lost. What do adults say you're supposed to do?"
[Spins wheel, lands on "Government"]
Government (CAE) Responses
Kid 1 (deadpan):
"Open a window, spray some air freshener, and pretend you don't smell anything. Like a ninja, but with Febreze."
Kid 2 (smirking):
"Adults say 'Find the source and clean it up,' but I've never seen one actually clean. They just blame the dog, even if they don't have one."
Kid 3:
"My mom says, 'Don't make a big deal,' but then she's the one who makes the biggest deal. Like, 'Who did this? This is unacceptable!'"
[Spins wheel, lands on "Humanity"]
Humanity (CAH) Responses
Kid 4 (sweetly):
"I think you should ask if someone's sick or sad. Maybe the smell is their feelings trying to escape."
Kid 5 (laughing):
"I'd make a joke about it. Like, 'Wow, someone's cooking up a science experiment!' Then everyone laughs and forgets the smell."
Kid 6:
"I'd hug my pet and say, 'Don't worry, I still love you even if you smell like old socks.'"
[Spins wheel, lands on "Cartel"]
Cartel (CAR) Responses
Kid 7 (grinning):
"I'd blame it on the dog, even if we don't have one. Dogs are the perfect scapegoats."
Kid 8 (whispering):
"I'd sneak out of the room like a spy and pretend I was never there. Mission: Avoid the Smell."
Kid 9:
"If it's bad enough, I'd just spray the whole house with ketchup. That way, the smell is covered up with a new mystery."
[Spins wheel, lands on "Karen/Kevin"]
Karen/Kevin Responses
Kid 10 (mock serious):
"I'd yell, 'Who did that?!' and make everyone confess. Then I'd demand a refund on the air freshener."
Kid 11 (rolling eyes):
"I'd write a note to the 'manager'—which is my mom—and tell her to fix the problem or else."
Kid 12:
"I'd start a petition to ban stinky smells in the house. Sign here, please."
[Spins wheel, lands on "John/Michael"]
John/Michael (Fight or Flight) Responses
Tiffany:
"Alright, time to decide—are you going to grow a pair like John and hunt down the smell, or beat it like Michael and moonwalk outta there?"
Kid 13 (confident):
"I'd grab a flashlight and go full detective. No smell gets past me!"
Kid 14 (laughing):
"I'd moonwalk right out the door and pretend I'm in a music video. Smells can't touch me!"
Kid 15:
"I'd do both—sneak up like John, then moonwalk away when it gets too gross."
Wildcard Round
Tiffany:
"Wildcard time! What's the funniest or weirdest smell you've ever encountered?"
Kid 16 (giggling):
"My brother's soccer cleats after a game. It smells like a monster's breath."
Kid 17:
"My dad's 'special chili' that smells like it's trying to kill us all."
Kid 18:
"One time, my hamster escaped and made a tiny, stinky mess in my shoe. It was like a tiny crime scene."
Tiffany's Take
Tiffany:
"Y'all are too much! I'm officially blaming all bad smells on invisible dogs from now on. And if you see me moonwalking out of a room, just know I'm keeping it classy. Remember, life's too short to hold your nose all day—sometimes you gotta laugh, spray some ketchup, and keep it moving!"
End-of-Episode Credit
Tiffany (on screen):
"Thanks for sniffing out the truth with us on 'Kids Tell the Ugly Truth.' I'm Tiffany Haddish. For more laughs, life lessons, and wild solutions, visit tiffanyhaddish.com. Catch you next time—hopefully somewhere that smells a little sweeter!"