Touch starved

The cabin creaked under the weight of wind. Morning didn't come so much as bleed in, gray and cold.

I didn't move from the floor.

Neither did he.

Kael sat against the far wall, one knee pulled to his chest, head tilted back like he'd tried to sleep and failed.

His shirt clung to him, damp from sweat or rain or memory.

I didn't ask.

"Your shoulder's bleeding again," I said.

He didn't open his eyes. "You watching me while I sleep, cold girl?"

"I don't sleep."

"You should."

"You should stop bleeding."

That made him crack a half-smile. The lazy kind, full of pain he didn't bother hiding anymore.

I stood, crossed the room, and dropped beside him.

Close. Not touching.

Not yet.

"Let me see it."

He didn't argue.

Just unbuttoned the top of his shirt with slow fingers and pulled the fabric down, revealing the bandaged wound I'd wrapped two days ago.

The edges were red. Raw. Ugly.

"I'm not a healer," I muttered.

"I don't need perfect. Just you."

That word sat between us too long.

I peeled the bandage back. Gently.

He flinched.

Not from pain...from my touch.

"You always this tense?" I asked.

"You're not exactly a soft presence, Ariya."

My hands stilled on his skin.

He was warm.

Too warm.

And solid in a way that made me feel weightless and breakable and seen all at once.

"I used to feel nothing," I whispered. "Now everything hurts."

"Welcome to being cursed."

I looked up.

He was already watching me.

Not with desire.

With ache.

The kind you don't speak of. The kind that grows in silence.

My hand rested just below the wound now. Palm flat against his chest.

He didn't move.

Didn't blink.

"You're too calm," I said.

"I'm not calm," he whispered.

I glanced down.

His chest was rising faster now. His heartbeat, a frantic thing beneath my skin.

"I thought you said I was cold."

"You were."

"And now?"

He exhaled, slow. Like he was trying to cage the answer.

"I want to touch you," he said. "But not for me."

I blinked.

"What?"

"For you."

My throat tightened.

"I want to prove you're still real," he murmured. "Still here. Still breathing. Not vanishing into that void in your head."

"I'm not"

"You are."

He shifted, just enough to brush his forehead against mine.

Like he was grounding us both.

"I won't kiss you," he said. "Not unless you beg."

I let out a breath that trembled. "I won't."

"I know."

"But I want to…"

"I know that too."

His hand came up, brushing my braid aside. His fingers trailed down my neck. Barely there. Like a question.

I didn't stop him.

Didn't stop me.

I leaned into the touch. Just an inch.

But it cracked something huge.

The kind of quiet that breaks your ribs from the inside.

His fingers slid down my jaw.

Held.

Soft. Reverent. Torturous.

"I miss feeling safe," I whispered.

"You feel safe now?"

"No," I said. "I feel alive."

He pulled back just enough to breathe the same air.

And smiled.

But it was the saddest smile I'd ever seen.