It started with the air.
Not the kind that's too cold or too warm.
But the kind that feels like someone just left the room with your name in their mouth.
---
I walked into the hallway where she used to sing.
My sister's voice still haunted the tiles.
Not like a ghost —
but like a memory that refused to be forgotten.
She used to hum without thinking.
Now I hum to remember what thinking used to feel like.
---
A nurse passed me and nodded.
She didn't ask how I was doing.
They stopped asking that weeks ago.
Because I stopped pretending the answer mattered.
---
Inside my pocket was a page torn from my sister's old journal.
I carried it folded — not because I couldn't memorize it,
but because I wanted to feel the edge of it cut my palm when I got too calm.
> "You are not what they did to you."
That's what she wrote.
And I wish I could believe it.
---
Because every time I breathe without flinching,
someone reminds me that surviving is suspicious when you've been too quiet for too long.
---
> "You're doing better," they say.
> "Then why do I feel like I'm disappearing the more I heal?" I want to answer.
But I don't.
Because that would mean explaining pain to people who've only read about it in textbooks.
---
So I smile.
Softly. Mechanically.
Like a girl who remembers what she lost too vividly to fully celebrate what she's becoming.
And I keep walking.
One echo after another.
Until the floor stops creaking and the hallway no longer hums.