The beginning

The morning sunlight swept through the ruined chapel's shattered windows, warm on Kaito's skin. He groaned and stretched, sore in all the right places. His wounds have healed. Lyria still lay beside him, naked beneath a fur cloak turned blanket , one arm flung across his chest like she'd claimed territory.

This evidently is the greatest morning of his life.

[PASSIVE BUFF: PROTECTIVE INSTINCT +30% | STRENGTH +15% IN BOND PRESENCE]

The interface blinked faintly in the corner of his vision, like it hadn't spent half the night surging with heat, flickering icons every time Lyria moaned his name.

She leaned forward, lips brushing his collarbone.

"Still alive?" she murmured.

"Barely. You fight like a demon. You ride like one too."

He had gotten bold*

Her smirk was dangerously. "Good."

Then her hand slid beneath the blanket.

Kaito sucked in a breath. "Again?" with a smile

"I'm testing the bond," she said, utterly serious. "For system stability."

That was a lie. And she knew he knew it.

Her palm wrapped around him, slowly but firm. He moaned, hips twitching under her as she leaned in, her mouth brushing his ear.

"Still afraid of me?" she whispered.

"I'm afraid of how fast you're making me want to bend the space time continuum to do that thing again".

This was the greatest moments of his Life.

This time, Lyria didn't ease into it.

She mounted him hard, hips touching, her movements sharp with needs. The fire was gone, but there was heat, created with the tempo of two bodies moving.

Kaito grabbed her hips and pushed her upwards. "You like that?"

He also saw that in a movie.*

But Before she could respond, the interface blared red in his vision.

[ALERT: MAGIC SIGNATURE DETECTED – CLASS: ROYAL SCRYING]

Threat Level: HIGH

Stealth Protocols: FAILED

Kaito sat bolt upright. "A what now?"

"Royal mages," Lyria said grimly, reaching for her sword. "If they find you with me, you'll be declared corrupted."

"Good thing I've got a corruption resistant buff: it's called 'being a virgin in my last life.'"

"Put on pants, idiot."

[ERROR: Combat Tutorial Skipped. Recompiling...]

[ERROR: You have been assigned a Unique Class: ???]

[ERROR: Stat Distribution Randomized. Good luck.]

Kaito blinked. "What do you mean, 'good luck'? Wait—don't..."

His vision swam with notifications, all of them popping over one another. Then the trees exploded.

Well, not all of them. Just the one at the damaged window behind Lyria.

"MOVE!" she barked, tackling him to the ground just as a monstrous, six-eyed wolf-beast slammed through the walls of the chapel.

Well, the walls were fucked already.

They hit the dusty ground in a tangle. Kaito groaned, not entirely because of the monster.

But it did ruin the greatest morning of his life.

"Ow. Okay. That one was huge. Are royal mages supposed to involve real murder-wolves?"

Lyria rolled off him, blades drawn in a flash of silver. "That's no mage. That's a Feralthorn Alpha. They don't warn you before they eat you."

Kaito sat up, his Error System interface flickering.

[Emergency Protocol Engaged: Summoning System Weapon...]

[Weapon Summoned: Rubber Chicken of Justice +0]

Kaito stared at the floppy rubber chicken now materialized in his hand.

"You've gotta be kidding me."

"Fight or die!" Lyria snapped, already lunging at the wolf.

"This is some bullsh*t." Still staring at the floppy rubber chicken.

It was indeed some bullsh*t.

Kaito hurled the chicken on instinct. It bounced off the Alpha's nose with a pitiful squeak.

The creature blinked.

Then it collapsed.

Dead.

Lyria froze mid swing. "Did you... just kill it with a chicken?"

Kaito stared at the interface.

[CRITICAL HIT! Weak Point Exploited: Temporal Nerve Cluster.]

[Level Up!]

[New Skill Unlocked: Cock-a-doodle-BOOM]

He looked. "Apparently, so."

Lyria was silent for a beat. Then she threw back her head and laughed. A loud sound that made his chest tighten.

"You might actually survive, glitch."

"Get your things, we need to leave here. There will be more." Lyria said pointing towards Kaito, who had lost focus again at her half naked body.

"F*ck off." She fired while using her hands to cover her scars.

"I have already seen it." Kaito murmured. Heading towards his clothes on the floor. "You look beautiful."

Her cheeks turned red. Well, a little.

He still had a little game after all.

They made camp not far from the ruins. Lyria sat cleaning her blades while Kaito poked at the system menu, now full of glitching tabs like "Blessing of the Uncoded God" and "*Inventory: 1 (Rubber Chicken)".

It was confusing.

Then the bushes rustled.

"Stay back." Lyria growled, springing to her feet.

A figure stood.

It was tall. Dressed by the Shadows. Eyes glowing with the light.

Kaito's interface lit up again:

[Warning: Incoming Threat Detected.]

[System Fragment Detected: MAGIC]