I Think My Bones Are In The Wrong Place.

Kaito woke up to the smell of burned leather, blood and... was that burnt pubes?

Yep, definitely his own.

He groaned and tried to sit up and immediately regretted everything he'd ever done, including being born. His ribs hurt, his thighs hurt and his interface kept blinking like a Christmas tree on drugs.

[STATUS: CRITICAL - You could Be Dead]

[CONDITION: Burned | Bruised | Boned (Literally? Unclear)]

[SYNC LEVEL: …Recalibrating.]

He let out a long sigh. "System, buddy, can I get a nap instead of death threats for once?"

[SYSTEM RESPONSE: You're welcome for not letting you bleed out, jackass.]

"Okay wow, sass mode unlocked."

He turned his head, which was another bad idea, Neck pain shot down his spine, he let his head fall back into what he hoped was grass but Nope...

Spoiler, it was some kind of monster droppings.

"Great," he muttered. "Woke up in a fucking warzone smelling like fried skin and lizard poop, peak fantasy experience."

That's when he saw her.

Lyria, just a few feet away on a chunk of black stone, half torn sleet, sword across her knees. She wasn't looking at him this time, she was staring into space like she was trying to forget something or someone.

Maybe him? Yeah right.

He sat up like a dying turtle.

Lyria still didn't move, didn't blink.

"You good?" he asked with a cracking voice, very manly.

She finally turned to look at him, her eyes had that glow again, not rage this time just… heat. Contained, controlled heat but still dangerous in a sexy, probably-stab-you-later kind of way.

"You shouldn't have done that," she said.

"You're welcome."

"You nearly died."

"You were about to."

Pause...

"And anyway, this system doesn't let me not nearly die, It's a design flaw."

[SYSTEM RESPONSE: It's literally your kink now.]

Kaito murmured. "You installed the NSFW patch once and suddenly everything is a sex joke."

Lyria stood slowly, her movements sharp but not aggressive, her expression was unreadable.

"You keep doing this," she muttered.

"Doing what?"

"Jumping into fire for me."

"That's kind of an exaggeration,"

"Besides you're a walking inferno, Lyria. Kind of hard to avoid."

She didn't laugh.

Instead, she walked over to him, knelt down and grabbed his chin.

He froze, her fingers were warm, her gaze even warmer. No armor. No wall.

"I don't know what this bond is," she said softly. "But if you try to die again.."

She paused and leaned closer.

"I'll kill you first."

His brain like paused.

[SYNC PULSE: +3% Boost – Threat-Based Arousal Detected]

[New Trait Unlocked: Masochist in Denial]

He swallowed. "So… this is flirting now right?"

Her eyes narrowed. "Get up, idiot. We're not safe here."

They moved through the trees quietly, mostly because Kaito's legs worked about as well as an internet in a thunderstorm.

Lyria was in full "ignore your existence" mode again. Sword now strapped to her back, shoulders stiff and every few seconds she glanced around like she expected someone or something to be watching.

Which, you know was super comforting.

Kaito trailed behind, limping.

"I don't suppose this world has potions or health packs, or… maybe ibuprofen?"

Lyria didn't look back. "We're still within fragment fallout range. Healing won't work yet."

"Cool, love that for us."

[STATUS: BLEEDING (Slightly Less Than Before)]

[EMOTIONAL STABILITY: Low-ish. Horny (Stable). Humor: Coping Mechanism Active]

Kaito sighed. "System, please shut up before I uninstall your ass with a rock."

[SYSTEM: r u mad at me? 😢]

He blinked. "…did you just use an emoji?"

The interface didn't respond. Instead, it glitched for a moment like bad TV reception.

Then it whispered in a low intimate feminine voice, right in his damn brain.

"You burned for love once..."

Kaito froze.

"What."

"She remembers... You touched her fire... and she let you in."

His spine went cold. "Okay, that's new. That's definitely new, Lyria...?"

She stopped immediately, hand going to her blade. "What?"

"You didn't just… hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"The weird whisper about burning and love, and fire-touching.. honestly it sounded way hotter than I'm okay with."

She looked at him confused, her eyes narrowed.

"You heard voices."

"I heard a voice, a ladies voice specifically, but it could just be an ex's voice for all I know."

She stepped closer, very close and grabbed his wrist.

"Say it again."

"The ex's part?"

"No, idiot, what it said."

Kaito hesitated. "Oh, she said.. 'You burned for love once.'"

Lyria grew pale, she pulled away like he'd burned her.

"You're leaking fragments."

"Wow that's rude, I'm leaking trauma now?"

"I mean system fragments," she snapped. "Memories from the dungeon Or something, or maybe you absorbed something you weren't supposed to."

He held up his hands. "Hey, I didn't ask the system to moan sweet nothings in my ear, alright? That's not a button I pushed!"

[SYNC NOTE: Emotional Residue Detected – Bond Partner Lyria. Class Type: Rage-Tethered. Memory Loops: Active]

[COMPATIBILITY GROWTH: 79%]

[DANGER: Feedback Spike May Cause Emotional Overwrites]

"We need to keep moving."

"I agree," Kaito muttered. "I'd like to stop hearing emotional flashbacks before they show up with popcorn."

That's when the birds stopped chirping.

The wind stilled, and both of them froze.

Something was watching.

[SYSTEM ALERT: Unregistered Sync Signature Detected]

[CLASS: OBSERVER - LEVEL 3]

[STATUS: HUNTING]

Kaito turned to Lyria. "Is it just me or did everywhere just get still?"

Lyria drew her sword.

The moment Lyria drew her sword, Kaito knew something serious was about to happen, because she didn't say a word.

Not "stay back," not "run," not even "hold my sword while I murder something."

She just moved.

She went still in that scary animal way like a wolf scenting blood and then launched forward into the trees.

Kaito did not follow.

He crouched low behind a root, whispering very bravely to himself: "I'll stay here and guard our things."

They didn't have shit..

The system pinged.

[ALERT: Incoming Threat Detected]

[Threat Level: Hot]

[Correction: Hostile. Possibly hot *and* hostile.]

Kaito frowned. "Stop ranking enemies by sex appeal, that's my job."

Something shimmered ahead.

Not quite a man, not quite a shadow.

It stepped out of thin air cloaked, wrapped in black leather and maybe digital static? He wasn't sure, but one thing seemed true, no weapon in sight.

The stranger tilted their head.

Then spoke, voice smooth and teasing.

"Didn't think I'd catch a living Bond Weaver this deep in the burn lands."

Kaito blinked. "I'm sorry, the what now?"

"You're leaking energy," the figure said, stepping closer. "Raw core sync, erotic protocol traces,You don't even know what you are yet do you?"

"whoa.." Kaito was shocked.

Lyria reappeared from behind him, her sword slammed into the figure's shoulder.

Except, it passed right through.

Kaito yelped. "Okay! Ghost ninja!"

The stranger phased backward, laughing.

"Relax. I'm not here to kill you, glitch. I just wanted to confirm if the rumors were true."

Lyria stepped in front of Kaito now, blade up.

"Touch him and I'll slice your brain out of your skull."

"Oh," the stranger purred, "I think he already touched something… forbidden."

Kaito opened his mouth, then closed it. "Why do I keep collecting stalkers?"

The stranger winked, glitching backward step by step.

Then paused.

"Oh… and one more thing."

They tapped a finger to their temple.

"She's waking up and She remembers him."

Then vanished, disintegrating into light.

[SYSTEM LOG: UNREGISTERED ENTITY – TRACE LOST]

[WARNING: OBSERVER CLASS IDENTIFIED – MULTIPLE CORES NOW AWARE OF USER SIGNATURE]

Kaito stood there for a second.

Then slowly said, "Lyria."

"What?"

"I think I just leveled up in weird."