Adulthood diaries-1, going to Satara...

4 year's later.....

Actually... time really flies.

Today, I'm going to be admitted into a university as a first year- student. Technically, I should've been a second- year student by now, but I dropped a year after completing school.

It feels... really good.

But I don't know why-- for the first time, I feel Okay without Kathy. Like, truly Okay.

I'm leaving home today and moving to Satara for my further studies. I've chosen three major subjects: Economics, Statistics, and Quantitative finance. Yeah, I've always loved science, but... honestly? I love everything. Psychology, Philosophy, poetry-- literally everything.

But here's the problem: you can't choose everything at once. You have to go with a specific field. so, yeah--- I still love science, but I picked these subjects for my graduation. And I do like them.

In India's education system, you've gotta pick your stream right after class 10--- so that you're not juggling a hundred different subjects like social studies- geography, history, civic, politics, science, Hindi lit., English lit. and all that.

When I was in 10th, I was so sure I'd take science in 11th. Like, no second thoughts. But when the time actually came... I ended up choosing the commerce stream-- Business, accountancy, book-keeping, all that stuff.

And honestly? I didn't regret it.

It's not like I stopped loving Science. I still follow science pages on Instagram, You Tube, other platforms. I read blogs, articles, stay updated. It's still a big part of me.

At least... I'm proud of the fact that I don't believe in Pseudoscience. And I don't glorify religion using science either-- like those people who say,

"Science copied everything from our religion," or

"It was all already written in our scriptures."

Like... no. just no.

I'm kinda proud that I don't fall into that trap, honestly.

I believe in science-- fully.

Because at least science takes accountability for its claims. It has evidence, logic, and a process.

Unlike religion, where people say anything without proof and expect you to blindly believe it.

Okay... I think I've said enough. I don't want to go deeper into this because it's an entirely separate, debatable topic. We'll argue about it some other time.

Let's leave it here.

I'm packing my bags and everything...

My mother is really worried about me. She's always been super concerned about my health, my studies-- literally everything.

The same woman who never let me go beyond our street... now she has to let me go. Alone. for my further studies.

"Are you sure... you can live there? I'm still asking you," she said, her voice heavy with tension.

"Yeah, don't worry. I'm grown up. fully matured. And you'll also visit me once a month, won't you?" I replied, trying to sound confident.

"Hmm... but still. How will you manage all these things alone? you don't even know proper cooking..."

Okay, fair point. I really don't know how to cook much. And honestly? I don't even like it. But I can handle the basics-- Maggie, pasta, sandwiches, the survival kit. And if I need to cook anything else? I mean... there's the internet. we've got you tube. It's not rocket science.

"Who told you I can't cook? yeah, it's true I never cooked here, but that doesn't mean I don't know how to cook," I told her with confidence.

"I never did it here because I didn't get the opportunity. you always cooked on time, and you yourself used to say, "you don't need to cook." That's why I never did."

"But baby... how will you manage all these things with your studies and all? And now you're saying you'll do a part time job there too?"

"Yeah, I'll."

"But... what's the need for a part time job? We'll transfer whatever money you need every month."

"Yeah, but I want to be independent. And what if-- just by any chance-- you forget? or you aren't able to transfer money," I said firmly.

She looked at me quietly for a moment. Then:

"Okay. you know, right? We've hired a helper for cleaning your apartment."

"Yeah. that's great. I don't like cleaning and all-- so good decision," I smiled.

"She'll come every morning and evening-- for cleaning and washing dishes, ok?"

"Yeah... but what's the need evening visits too?"

"Just for the time being. let her come in the evening as well. Later, you'll manage it by yourself, ok?"

"Ok. did you pack all the stuff you were talking about?" I asked.

"Yeah. those all are in that suitcase--- handmade snacks, juices and everything."

"Great..."

"I'll send you more later. you have to eat all this-- don't waste them. They won't spoil for a long time. And keep the juices in the fridge, ok?"

"Got it. did dad install everything there? like TV, Fridge, furniture and all?"

"Yes, everything's ready."

I looked at the wall clock.

"It's 3 PM. when are we leaving?"

"Around 5, I think. your father has some work. He'll be back by 4. Then we'll leave. so, till then, Pack everything you need. Don't forget anything."

"Hmm..."

Thinking hard... am I forgetting anything...?

The minute hand hovered near the 6-- almost 4:30 PM.

I glanced at the clock just as the door creaked open. Dad stepped in, smiling softly.

"All set? Got everything packed?" he asked, closing the door behind him.

"Yeah... I was just waiting for you. you're so late," I said, pretending to be annoyed. Then softening, "But yeah, I get it-- your work and all. So, never mind."

He chuckled.

"You look pretty excited, huh? Not even going to miss us?" He teased.

The words caught me off guard. A strange guilt settled in my chest. I paused.

"No, It's not like that, I---"

Before I could finish, Mom jumped in.

"Well of course. she's all grown up now, going off to university. Who's going to miss us anymore? we're just...."

"Mom, please... don't say that." I cut her off gently, already knowing where this was headed.

"You know I'll miss you. People go abroad for studies, leave their homes behind for years. I'm just moving to another city. Still in India. you can visit me anytime."

I took a breath, trying not to get emotional.

"I just... I don't want to leave with tears and heavy hearts. Please understand-- I have to do this."

"But you could've continued here in Pune. There are so many good universities nearby," she said, her voice soft, but laced with disappointment.

"I told you; mom wither they didn't offer the subjects I needed, or their curriculum wasn't good enough."

My voice calm but clear.

she just looked at me with that familiar expression-- the one where her eyes say more than lips ever would.

"Ok, we're getting late. calm down, and get ready," Dad said, stepping in to ease the tension.

by around 5:45 PM, we left for Satara by car- me, my mom and my dad.

They were going to stay with me there for the next two days-- for my admission process, buying groceries, and setting everything in the apartment.

Dad was never a fan of hostels or PGs. That's why we had rented a well- structured apartment near the university--- safe, peaceful and convenient.

Now It's around 7:30 Pm

We're still on the way.

I'm sitting by the window, watching the city lights blur past us. The wind's brushing my face gently as I lean towards the window. It's dark now-- the kind of darkness that feels calm, not scary.

And I don't know why... but I feel good.

It's a different feeling.

A new chapter.

something is changing.