The Three Delivery Bros

Tony Stark leaned against the reinforced wall of the SHIELD rec room, arms folded, watching Clint Barton disassemble and clean one of his absurdly customized arrows.

"This guy has the social skills of a particularly grumpy toaster," Tony muttered.

Kai, sitting on the armrest of the nearest couch, slurped juice from a tiny SHIELD-issued carton. "That's generous. My toaster at least plays music."

Clint didn't even look up. "I can hear both of you."

"Good," Tony replied. "Means your hearing's still intact."

They'd tried everything.

Bribes.

Sparring invites.

Laser tag.

Kai even offered to sneak him Tokyo ramen, no questions asked.

But Clint remained impossible to draw into the group—preferring the silent company of arrows, empty corridors, and the occasional mission brief.

Kai leaned closer to Tony. "Time for Plan B."

Tony raised a brow. "You mean you actually have a Plan B?"

Kai grinned mischievously. "Yup. Something I've been dying to try."

A Few Hours Later – SHIELD Courtyard

Tony stood beside Kai with an eyebrow raised and arms crossed.

"You want me to wear… this?"

"Okay, real talk... where did you even get this thing?"

In front of him was a set of plain brown courier clothes: a cap, a jacket with a stitched badge that said "ExpressFam," and a face mask.

Kai, already dressed in his delivery uniform, nodded with the seriousness of a master strategist.

"Yes. Look, you want Clint to open up, right? He's stuck in 'mission' mode. He only trusts people during high-stress or high-routine operations. So we give him something else—structured nonsense."

Tony frowned. "So the plan is…?"

"We go on a delivery run. But not just any run. A real one."

"…You just want me to be your assistant delivery boy."

"No. I want you to be the senior delivery operative."

Tony smirked. "Well. That sounds more my style."

Kai turned toward the hallway. "Now, all we need is one more guy."

---

>Convincing Clint – With Pure Chaos<

Kai approached Clint during his solo range practice session.

Arrow—bullseye.

Arrow—another bullseye.

Arrow—

"Kai," Clint said without looking. "Whatever it is. No."

Kai held up a bag.

"No questions asked sushi."

Clint blinked. "Still no."

"Tony's coming."

Pause.

"…Still no."

"We have matching uniforms."

Another pause.

Kai raised a brow. "You hate being bored. This? Is the opposite."

Finally, Clint lowered his bow.

"I'm listening."

Mission: Sushi & Smiles

By 2:00 p.m., three figures in brown courier gear rolled into the edge of a nearby small town, riding actual delivery mopeds they borrowed from SHIELD's "low-profile asset transport" unit.

Kai led the way, sharp and focused.

Tony drove behind, face mask on, Stark-Tech GPS glowing on his arm like a sci-fi watch.

Clint trailed third, helmet visor down, muttering under his breath about the lack of weapons.

Their first delivery: five lunchboxes and a thermos to a retired couple on Main Street.

Kai knocked cheerfully. "ExpressFam at your service!"

An older woman opened the door, confused at first—but lit up the moment she saw Kai's grin and the hot tiffins.

"Bless your heart!" she said. "And who are your friends?"

Kai gestured backward. "That's Clint. He's shy. And that one over there pretending not to exist is Tony."

Tony waved halfheartedly. "Afternoon, ma'am."

---

Second Delivery – The Cranky Uncle

Their next delivery was a massive box of groceries to a short-tempered man with a thick mustache and no patience.

"Late again!" he barked. "What are you delivering, hope?"

Clint muttered, "I could shoot an arrow through his mailbox."

Kai grinned. "No need. Watch and learn."

He pressed the box into the man's arms, then flipped open a handheld console.

"Apologies, sir! As per our 48.9% satisfaction guarantee, I present you with today's special—free premium mangoes!"

The man's frown faltered.

"A Mango?"

Kai winked. "Sweetest in the country. Approved by the Avengers."

The man blinked. "Who are those guys?"

Tony coughed behind his mask. "I hear they love mangoes."

The man confused but still smiled looking at the mango in his hand, just a little. "Hmph. Fine. Keep up the good work, kid."

As they walked away, Tony leaned over to Kai. "Did you just bribe a customer with fruit?"

"Avocado diplomacy failed last time. I adjusted."

Clint… actually chuckled.

By the Third Delivery

The day wore on. The air grew cooler. The mopeds bumped down a gravel path toward a farmhouse.

Their final delivery: a birthday cake and snacks for a family who couldn't drive into the city.

Kai adjusted his box. "This one's important. The dad messaged saying his kids were down with the flu. Let's make it quick and cheerful."

Clint eyed the cake box. "No broken frosting. Got it."

Tony activated hover-mode on his moped. "I'll make sure it gets there… with style."

When they knocked on the door, a tired mother opened it—followed by two sniffly kids peeking around her legs.

Kai knelt. "Special delivery for the champions inside."

The kids blinked.

Tony held up the cake box, lifting his mask just a little. "Chocolate. With rocket sprinkles."

Clint stepped forward, silently offering them little handmade arrows made from toothpicks and foil. "Mini Arrow kits," he said, awkwardly.

The kids' eyes lit up.

The mother wiped her eyes. "You boys are amazing."

They stayed for ten minutes, told them a few jokes, and then moved on.

Back at the SHIELD hangar, the mopeds parked.

Clint removed his helmet, hair slightly messy, but... smiling.

"You know," he said quietly, "this wasn't awful."

Tony chuckled. "That's the highest praise I've heard from you all day."

Kai sipped from a bottle of soda. "Told you. Everyone needs a delivery arc."

Clint looked at him.

"Don't make this weird."

Kai grinned wider. "Too late."

---

Later That Night – SHIELD Rooftop

The stars were coming out. Clint sat on the edge of the rooftop, bow next to him.

Kai walked over and dropped a bag of snacks in his lap.

Clint raised an eyebrow.

"…Mango chips?"

Kai sat beside him. "Mangoes saved the day, remember?"

Clint nodded.

"Still think we're all just rookies and noise?" Kai asked.

Clint was quiet.

Then he said, "You're all still rookies. But I guess… I don't mind the noise so much."

Kai smiled, watching the stars.

Tony's voice echoed from the balcony doorway. "Hey, Delivery Squad, we're doing karaoke next!"

Kai stood up. "You in?"

Clint sighed. "…If I don't have to sing."

"Deal."