Chapter 6: Strength

Its been a few weeks, Ally Miller has been sleepwalking as Karlen for the last few weeks, on, and off. She returned to work at a shield office. As she reviews reports on Mr. Fox's kits, and his abductions. Along with study, and theorizing on his methods. Her theories are somewhat competent so far, mixed with her small team. As Mr. Fox's existence is too destabilizing for a large team. So its highest classification, low agent count task. There theories say that Mr. Fox's realm is some representation of his mind, somehow. That he transfers minds, and matter into it somehow, and uses the fox frequency to see, and interact with our world. While his shadow foxes are links to his worlds, when put into someone's shadow.

Her sleepwalking with Karlen has been... interesting. He is getting better with a human body. He now walks, instead of crawls on all 4's. But its more like a dog standing on two legs, then a walk. They have had a few conversations. She prints out text in Chinese, and he writes responses. He can still write oddly enough. Then she translates it to English. She also gave him a book to learn English from. He can sleepwalk every night if they decide on it... but she has learned... her body... does not like that. Her backpain got worse, to such a point she needed to visit a chiropractor, after 3 days straight. Along with... horrible tiredness, and headaches. They have gained some schedule. She has a very expensive subscription to a chiropractor, with the annoyance of a chiropractor who complains "Your back must be the worst one ever seen! Its like your walking on all fours half the time!". While they sleepwalk once a week, on Saturday.

She has kept this all secret from her team members. She does not want to be tested, not yet. Perhaps not ever. She kind of does not want this on a shield database. In terms of what she has learned. She asks "How old are you?", Karlen writes "Not sure. Was taken in 1980. What year?" She asks "Why were you taken?". The man writes "Don't want think about. Hurts." She responds "Will you ever tell me?" He response "Perhaps... but... it hurts. Because insides are out. No emotion can hide. No feeling can hide. Unable to block a single line of thought." He asked her "What it like to hide stuff? Emotion... i can't stop it, none of it, anymore." She says "I'm... not sure. I've never experienced my insides being out." He is too human she realizes. It unnerves her... but yet, she can't help but get closer to him.

He asks questions about her work sometimes. "SHIELD follows superheroes yes? What are those avengers people. We see them all time. Follow foxes talk about them, confused." She replies "They are heroes, they save peoples lives, and stop the bad people from hurting the world. The stuff we can't fix easily." Eventually, she asks "How do you know so much about my work? How much of my life do you see?" He replies "All of it. I am always there. Thou i can not see thoughts, or memories, but i can if i want feel your emotions. But its hard to speak most of time. I do sleep. But i am always there, and need little sleep, as shadow foxes do not sleep, we go quite. We remember." He watches her all the time. That itself... is a bit creepy, meaning he has seen her naked, or use the restroom. She is just glad, as a ghost, and as a shadow she can't even talk to directly, he does not mention it.

Then she asks "What happens when you are fixed?" He response "When a shadow fox goes thru all there trauma. We get two choices. Stay with Mr. Fox, and work, with more freedom, fun even. The band that plays, and writes the songs are others like that. Or leave... leaving... results in you becoming almost a ghost in the real world. You can use some of Mr. Fox's power to make things better, watch your loved ones. Enter Dreams. But that is mostly it. You can return to Mr. Fox at any time if you can find your way back. Mr. Fox does not like his options either, he wishes he could return us to our human forms. His realm is pretty fun thou. There is parties, and areas designed by the more experienced shadow foxes for fun. But its... hard to fully be clear of blindness. Or at least clear to his standards. Even if you become moral, and learn you were wrong, and work to fix yourself. As long as you keep hitting yourself, you are stuck." Then she asks "Can you die?" Karlen replies "Yes, but only if we go too far into blindness. So far, it corrupts the core of self. Mr. Fox tries soul surgery with them, but it often fails."

She asks "Do you know why you can't walk well?" He says "Yes, we walk on 4 legs all day, and have no ghost limbs. Being shadow fox also gives... desires. Instincts. You just know how to move like a fox, and... you can't move like not fox." She then asked "How strong is Mr. Fox in the real world?" Karlen replies "Very, he is holding back in fear of some strong auras on your planet. But he said to us, to keep his power, plans secret. So sorry, not telling." She writes one time "What... do you think of the stuff i do?", he responds "Its you. What is there to say. After many years, i don't care. I think you are good person. Worthy of Mr. Fox's eye." She asks one time "How many foxes... are there?" He replies "A world. Too many. We have several cities." She asks one time "What is blindness?" Karlen replies "Mr. Fox explains like this. Blindness is not seeing something. Anything at all. Blindness is unavoidable. Not always bad. Just... blindness is what creates all bad things. If you have the wrong blindness, and its too strong. Too unmovable. It allows immorality, bad traits, and mental states to form." It unnerves her... how real Mr. Fox's animated realm seems... to be. How accurate his ideas are too. Blindness... makes sense as a phycological theory.

Eventually, as time passes, she notices her back getting better. Despite Karlen still walking like a animal trying to be human. She thought it was a good thing at first. Less back pain is amazing and all. But then... She notices her body moving better with Karlen at the controls, faster, while walking half animal. It weirds her out slowly. Her chiropractor said "Your back... is better now. Weird? It... looks a little weird, but ok?" She notices in the X-ray photo, her back... is a little unusual. More... bent? She notices with horror, how she is walking on her tip toes without intending. Like... like Karlen. She notices her hands moving better. Her slouching, and moving more quietly. Even her fellow agents looking at her strangely. Her instincts... feel... sharper. More animalistic. She keeps trying to ignore it, but its... its scary.

She shakes, as she writes a message to Karlen, and wakes up the next day... she asked "What is going on with my body?" Karlen responds "I'm sorry. Mr. Fox wants you stronger. He put me into your shadow to improve you. We need you. You were chosen to be Mr. Fox's chosen. I'm not sure what a shadow fox's power in a insides in soul, in a human body will do. But you are seeing its effects. Mr. Fox see a need for a hero, like the avengers. He told me about the idea once. Called it a 'path to changing this blinded world'. He also said he respects the avengers. I'm sorry, but i'm not sure how far these changes will effect you, but from what i can tell, at least your soul is not being turned inside out yet." She shakes, as she reads the translation. "Oh god... oh no..." She shakes, as he hands grip the table. Then... she whimpers... it sounds animal-like. "What! Shit...!" She slams her fist into the table. Angry at herself, and this... link. "What... what are you making me into!" She recognizes the strategy... Mr. Fox... what's a avatar to act in the real world, without a TV. He wants a actor, a person, a conduit to earth.

Ally Miller lays on her couch, looking at her hands. She gets up, and sighs deeply. It sounds slightly... animalistic. She remembers her stress at work today. Keeping quite, forcing herself not to make any weird sounds. She remembers what Mr. Fox said when asked "Why cartoons? Foxes?" he said fucking advertising. What is this... She sighs deeper, and it sound even more animalistic. She shakes, and holds her head. She gets up, and walks with a unusual, animalistic grace. She tries to push it back, hold her back straight, walk like normal. It... feels weird. She rubs her back, standing up straight. Her feet flat on the ground. Her shoulders up straight. It feels... wrong. Uncomfortable. It begins to... make her back hurt. Like the reverse of what it was earlier. Karlen use to cause her back pain. Not... her moving like herself causes her back pain. Mr. Fox... stole it... her natural gait. She has been walking like a human for 28 years... and now... she can't. She frowns deeply, and bends down, her feet bend up, as she walks as if she should have a tail. Something still feels wrong. She grabs a counter in her bathroom. As she breaths in... smells hit her just a bit stronger then she remembers. She looks at her face. Brown hair, somewhat long. Sharp eyes. Eyes look normal, human still. Her face pretty. She is not very tall, and her figure is somewhat normal. She sighs, and rubs water over her face.

She closes her eyes... quite. Feeling something there... in her shadow. That... sense of someone watching has been growing stronger. She use to not even sense Karlen. As she slept that night, she woke in the realm, the black water at her feet. The black void around her. Karlen, a black fox figure, stood nearby. Glowing purple eyes, and teeth. Yet... she could feel more details about him, read his emotions? Feel him. She looked at her hands, and noticed a purple pulsing cracks spread thru her hands. She spoke to Karlen "How long... until its complete." Karlen replied, in Chinese, yet she understood him. This was the clearest she heard his voice before. "I don't know." She woke up the next day. No sleepwalk today, they did not schedule one. Weird... she never got water dreams unless he sleepwalked.

As she lays in bed, early morning. She notices her pose. Curled up, legs near her hands. Like a fox sleeping. She frowns... at how nice it feels. Natural. She gets up... a little scared. She... walks on her knees, and hands... it does not even hurt. Its... easy. She whimpers, and rolls off the bed, and stands. She hates how... lonely her life is now. No boyfriends... unless you count a shadow fox. No close friends, she was always a loner yes, especially after going thru agent training, and more to get here. She abandoned her collage friends to peruse this path. The path to help others, to solve murders, and catch bad guys.

its not intentional. She has tried relationships, but after the fox case... now... she can not imagine it. She is not normal at all anymore. Yet she still feels like herself. Yet she is still drifting further. Her dreams last longer, and she is more aware within them. Her last dream within the fox realm, Karlen showed her a mirror to see herself, and she saw transparent, animated black fox ears slowly forming on her head, and a slow forming tail, transparent still, with those purple glowing cracks. Her body entirely animated, as everything is within the fox realm. She awakens, and cheaks for ears, and tail... nothing. She has begun to avoid doctor appointments. She is not sure, but Karlen says "Your body is changing, it could be detected." When she asked. But he is rather... and utterly unfamiliar with modern medicine. Too such a point its ridiculous. When asked, he shrugs "Eh, i was taken long ago. We don't get sick in the animated realm."

Eventually, she walks stably, with a fox-like grace, and quite. Her nose... smells... are so strong now. She had to stop wearing perfume. Cooking food with too many spices makes her gag. Its too strong, it makes her go into sneezing fits comedically. She wonders if its some of the cartoon physics trying to be expressed in the real world. But Karlen has no clue. He says "Mr. Fox has never tried to embody his power into a living, unchanged human. Side effects are expected." No real... mental effects, unless you count body language changes. Tilting head... walking quiter. Jumping more actively when startled. Growling. Whimpering. Yiping. All with tones that are surprisingly realistic. She stays at home most of the time. Work feels horrible, so she stays mostly alone in her office, working. Avoiding the others on the fox project. Thou its hard, because she is a high-level investigator for it due to personal experience. They all know she has a shadow fox, they saw it themselves in the interview they recorded with Mr. Fox.

They just don't know the effects, so seeing them... now... she can tell, they are nervous about her. She noticed how her gaze would be. Too animal... active... innocent, expressive. She found weird spikes of emotions. Like she was on her period... but a little more animal, and less strong. More specific. Only some emotions would spike. She felt... not human, yet... its more like she lacks the instincts of a human, and still has all the thoughts, emotions, and logic of one. Its... so weird. She looks in a mirror... at home. As she sighs "I hate... this... i'm becoming a fucking furry. Should just wear a prostetic tail! ha... fucking hell." She sighs deeply, her depressive joke hitting hard. Why did Mr. Fox need to chose a fox? He was a human before this right? She wonders wordlessly. Wishing he did not pick that.